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Dealing with sibling rivalry.... Need some ideas!

(3 Posts)
helenski1979 Sat 24-Jan-15 21:36:03

Hi There,

I'm new here and looking for some support and ideas.... I have 2 daughter 3 and 6. It took me a long time to have them after MANY miscarriages. When I was lucky enough to have them they both cried and cried for the 1st 2.5 years of their lives, both very discontented babies. The consequence of that was that I held them very close, there was no alternative really. I fed them on demand, slept with them etc. It nearly drove me doollally as none of it stopped them crying but at least I was there, it was so intense but it felt like there was really no choice. They developed in to very strong willed but very needy toddlers. My oldest had the shock of her life when the youngest was born and, because the baby cried relentlessly (reflux-severe!!!), it took me away from her and caused resentment. For the first couple of years she ignored the baby and then as my youngest grew and started to walk and talk she became very jealous. The oldest has had some play therapy which did help and I tried to give her 'special time' but there is never enough time or support to do this as much as she needed. They started to acknowledge each other and started to play occasionally but they are both strong willed little girls, highly strung and feisty so play time often ends in tears, wailing, door slamming! They are constantly squabbling and fighting for my attention. Things have got worse again recently, playing a lot less, fighting a lot more (not physical). The older one wails when the younger one cries from hurting herself and says something like "it was nothing! She's not hurt at all!".....She doesn't want to let her touch her toys etc etc... I'm at the end of my tether. Losing my rag all the time, just so so tired of the crying. I wish I could be more patient but it's just been so intense for years. I feel like I'm not being the mum I want to be but at a loss as to know what to do to help. Any tips on how to help 2 feisty girls get along and not be so jealous would be gratefully received. I see all my friends with their children just playing nicely and I just don't understand why our family life cannot be like that...... Thanks for reading this and sorry for waffling!....

Helen xx

fattymcfatfat Sat 24-Jan-15 22:56:21 tips just to say that once they are all grown up they will be closer. My dm had 3 of us in 5 yrs and we always fought and argued. We would play together but it usually ended in tears. Now that we are older me and little bro are closer than ever. Hes such a good uncle and is always thereto cheer me uup. I feel so sorry for my mum for what we put her through and have spent the last six yrs apologising to her constant for how bad I was! Good luck!

Wellintothenewyear Sun 25-Jan-15 11:07:33

Bumping for you.

I'm guessing you've already read "how to listen so your kids will talk and talk so your kids will listen" and "siblings without rivalryy".

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