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very distressed 3 year old

(9 Posts)
LittleKirk Mon 12-Jan-15 10:03:56

My son is 3, about to turn 4 in the next couple of weeks and is still getting very distressed at being taken to pre-school.

he hasn't had an easy run there to be fair- he was bullied quite badly between February when he started to summer by a boy who is now in primary school. I thought that going back and seeing he is no longer in his class would reassure him. (He also had an incident there where he popped and it all came out top quickly and he said the teacher 'didn't listen' so remained in his mess the rest of the day. I did confront said teacher and she said he is at an age to clean himself up. don't worry- action was taken) but since then he hates school. he will cry all weekend because he has to go and when we get there he's crying before we even get out of the car and all he says is I want you. I have a 3 month old son as well but this has been going on for 5 months. I've tried the reasoning, treating him when he's big and brave and goes in with less crying and I've also tried the whole come on you're a big boy etc and how brave he is and disctracting him asking to make pictures etc but it doesn't work and makes him worse. I've just submitted his school application and now I'm worried that he will be like this come September and that children will be mean to him about it.

any advice?

MrsTawdry Mon 12-Jan-15 11:27:39

My older DD didn't settle in preschool...your DS has another year there right? In your shoes I would look for another preschool. Looking back, the reason mine never settled was because the setting was crap.

They were too strict (it was attached to a very academic prep and was old fashioned) and they didn't worry about the quiet kids but left them to struggle alone.

Don't worry about school....loads of them have crying issues or problems with toiletting etc...but your son sounds like he had one issue only so that's not a biggie.

I really would consider finding a new place for him. The staff member who left him like that...is she still there? This kind of thing being left is a red flag for the quality of care.

I agree with Mrs, a new school might be the fresh start he needs. He might be associating the bad feelings with that particular place rather than just school in general.

LittleKirk Mon 12-Jan-15 12:06:28

my partner has suggested taking him out of that school as we have but heads with the woman who runs the pre-school (and also the one who 'didn't listen'). I have told ofstead and they are getting involved. he starts school this September so I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. persist or take him out?

caravanista13 Mon 12-Jan-15 12:10:10

I had a similar experience with my DD. I took her out and she started school the following year with no problems.

MrsTawdry Mon 12-Jan-15 17:24:09

Kirk it's quite a long time till September. Some DC don't even go to ANY preschool until this term so shift him out of there if possible. Is there another nearby?

LittleKirk Tue 13-Jan-15 15:36:41

I think it's high time to get him out of there. yet another incident today and he's already crying about going back tomorrow.

TripleRocks Tue 13-Jan-15 15:56:22

Take him out. The sooner the better

They are doing more damage to his readiness for school than good.

juliascurr Tue 13-Jan-15 15:58:37

move him asap

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