dreadful behaviour from 3 year old

[tea2sweeteners]

grandson 3 and a half years old, is driving his mum mad due to constant battles. He will not do ANYTHING he is asked, told or requested, Is never still, if sat down will constantly squirm and wriggle. Attends pre school 5 mornings a week , 8am -11-50, Some good days , some bad days. They had to give him a high viz jacket and a clipboard just to get him to behave at first, He doesn't like to be told what to do, has a very short attention span, seems unable to sit and listen for more than 2 minutes. HE IS VERY INTELLIGENT, only needs to be shown something once, and he 'gets' it. Seems 'old headed'. Been like this for over 6months, has a new baby brother (9 weeks), so it isn't because he feels left out, He has two lovely parents who adore him, dad works, mum on maternity leave. Very good homelife, but his constant whining and open defiance are very hard to deal with, very loud, very insistant, and sometimes very embarrassing, Worried that other mums think he is bad influence , which to be fair, at the moment he is, all this is depressing mum, she cries, is exhausted

[MrsTawdry]

Have the preschool suggested that he sees a pediatrician? In your DDs shoes I would ask the GP for a referral to get him assessed by an educational/behavioural professional. This will at least give her an idea if he needs some extra support in school before he begins OR if there's anything else she could do to improve things.

How is his language?

[tea2sweeteners]

Mrs Tawdry, his language is very good, as is his logic, We have never used 'baby talk' so he's very eloquent, and can have decent conversation with him........he joins in and adds his opinion whenever he can

[mrsruffallo]

He is 3. Lots of them are like this. Be patient and ride it out, it'll all be fine.

[Elllimam]

Sounds like my toddler too, he wants to do his own thing, tons of energy, very verbal. I just assumed it was a toddler thing.

[Jaffakake]

Tbh he sounds like my ds too. Mines 3.5 & although generally a good, polite kid who listens reasonably well, your gs sounds like mine on a bit of a bad day or my perception of him on a day when I'm tired.

Whining, cross-talking, seeking attention when talking with others. Wanting me to play with him all the time is pretty much daily behaviour. Mine can sit still & concentrate but I know plenty of kids that don't at this age.

If there's something particular I really want to address (or get a good handle on so my life is easier for a bit) I find star charts particularly effective. Eg last week dh was away for 8 days, I'm pregnant & flagging a bit & ds has been a pain in the bum at getting dressed/ready for bed - star chart employed = model behaviour so good it was almost creepy!

[HaroldLloyd]

Mine is the same, having loads of trouble at nursery unit at the school, not listening, hitting teachers, not sharing and being very defiant.

It's grim.