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Identical twins who wont be separated in class

(5 Posts)
Gem123xx Thu 08-Jan-15 18:24:33

I have identical twin girls who are 6 years of age. They are stuck together like glue which has never been a problem till now. There teacher has raised a concern to me that when asked to join in different groups they get very upset and can't concetrate. If one needs the toilet during class the other will cry. I have not really noticed at home because they are my only children and I thought it was normal and I've never tried to separate them as I feel it's cruel. I would really appreciate any suggestions please thank you x

Littlefish Thu 08-Jan-15 18:31:00

I think the teacher was right to raise this as it is obviously causing problems for them at school. They cannot always work in the same group, or go to the toilet at the same time, and they need to be able to concentrate on their own, or with other children.

I certainly don't consider it cruel to give children the opportunity to spend time with a loving parent on their own, without other siblings around. More than that, I actually think it's very important for children, be they "ordinary" siblings or twins to have the chance to develop their own interests, their own friends and their own personalities without relying on others all the time.

stressbucket1 Thu 08-Jan-15 19:41:17

I am an identical twin and we were always in the same class throughout school. They are so little and school is still quite new to them so I wouldn't force a seperation in school. Is it one of them that gets upset or both?
Could you maybe try a group outside school where they could mix with other children but go one at a time and a parent could be there instead?
If they play with other children at playtime I don't think its a problem but if not it would be good to get them socialising with other kids to improve their confidence and get them to branch out a bit.
Btw we always had the same friends and still do as adults.
HTH

Littlefish Thu 08-Jan-15 19:44:07

The teacher isn't suggesting different classes, just occasional different working groups within the same class.

Crying when the other twin goes to the toilet is not a normal reaction.

HalberHahn Thu 08-Jan-15 19:56:51

I'm an identical twin and we went to different pre-schools and different primary schools. Grew up in the country where schools only had one class per year.
We never had the same friends. At secondary school we were together but not in the same form.

I don't think it is quite normal for one twin to cry if the other isn't in the room.
Do you always take them everywhere together?

My DD1 had twins in her class and they were fine being in different groups. DD2 has twins in her year group (year1) and they were split up into different classes from reception. I think the school actively encourage parents to do that.

I'd start doing things with them separated, maybe leave one with a grandparent and go shopping with the other, and then vice versa on another day.
Start nurturing different interests. They will always be very close. I'm still close to my twin, we talk or text daily. We're 41.

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