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Attention seeking 7 year-old

(6 Posts)
Archy123 Sat 03-Jan-15 09:51:24


I'm new here so please go easy smile

I'm a dad of a 7 year old boy, who is usually quite happy entertaining himself and rarely complains about anything (except when I drag him away from his ipad to do something lol)

Anyway, I'm dating a mum of two kids, a 13 YO boy and a 7 YO girl. All the kids get on great, but I'm increasingly becoming aware of just how much attention the little girl is seeking. She's a really sweet girl when she's happy, but she is only ever happy it seems when she is interacting with others. If the boys are ever playing together she will be desperate to join them, or to drag one or both of them away to play with her instead. If this isn't happening she will soon be complaining about it.

When she is playing with them, if things don't go her way she will start complaining. This could be playing a game on the wii in which she is losing or doesn't understand, or if her brother says or does anything she doesn't like she will immediately come crying to her mum.

If she's by herself and anything happens that gives her an excuse to come to her mum for attention, she will do so.

I was with them all day the other day and the little girl (who I must emphasise is adorable when she's happy!) must have whined/come complaining to her mum/gone off crying to her room) about 30+ times during the course of the day.

This is all new to me as I'm used to dealing with a (largely) contented boy. Is this normal behaviour for a young girl and is there any advice I can give her mum to help her manage this attention-seeking behaviour better?

Many thanks in advance!

Angelface5 Sat 03-Jan-15 10:01:48

Every child is different.
Is being with them a new situation how long have you been seeing this new women. Only ask as if it's new then maybe this little girl is feeling threatened in a new situation and like you said is really wanting the attention as she is only 7. Some kids find things easier than others

DevonFolk Sat 03-Jan-15 10:02:18

I heard a great phrase the other day: she may well not be attention seeking but attention needing. Maybe she's very insecure. If her mum's a LP it may be that she's experienced some sort of trauma (however mild in ours eyes it could still be a very big deal to her) in the break down of her parents' relationship.

Obviously I don't know any of you or any more detail than you have given, but I'd say that if she's needing her mum then she's needing her mum.

How long has mum been a LP? Does she have contact with her dad? It's not easy for some children to adjust to new family situations like this.

Angelface5 Sat 03-Jan-15 10:09:22

I agree with above. Doesn't matter how old it affects all kids differently and I like that phrase not attention seeking but attention needing. All kids need attention. Go easy on the poor little girl. If she sees her mum giving someone else attention she may feel her only way to then get some attention is to make a fuss and whin.

Hedgehogging Sat 03-Jan-15 10:12:25

Sounds a bit like my DN. Her parents are splitting but tbh she was sort of clingy and attention seeking like this before that.

I think it stems from insecurity but there's probably an element of just being a 7 year old girl too.

DN always seems to benefit from a little one-on-one girl time with her mum. I think just lots of reassurance and maybe distracting her a bit by giving her not particularly onerous tasks "oh DN, come and help me with x", "come to the shops with me" etc.

sunshineandshowers Sat 03-Jan-15 10:16:17

Next time you see her play/ talk to her and try to make it her only for 45 mins when you get there. She will be full of attention and should then be content on her own for a bit. Try to deal with it positively and not make a big deal otherwise everyone will get tense.

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