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15mo having tantrums

(3 Posts)
Queazy Mon 29-Dec-14 13:50:48

I've tried looking for old threads, so sorry if this topic has been 'done' a billion times already! My 15mo dd started having tantrums a month or two ago. She will be completely beside herself if I try to put her in her pram, try to pick her up when she wants to walk, head toward her with a spoon (she'll only eat puree at the childminders house now!). I know she is testing the boundaries and I try to stay calm, but I was honestly naive to the fact that tantrums can start this early! Is this normal?! Any tips on controlling the tantrums? She's just too little for 'naughty step' approaches, and obviously can't control her emotions yet! Any advice gratefully received smile

captainproton Mon 29-Dec-14 14:27:00

Queazy, I have a 16 month old and a 2.5 yr old. And yes they started way before 2 in both children. I have had 2 years of tantrums and my youngest is the worst at the moment. He started to walk 6 weeks ago and wants to do everything his way. I have a battle at mealtimes, and when we are out and about, nappy changes, getting in the car, getting dressed.... he is a lovely boy and he is not always a little monster. I think the best thing is to try and stay calm and in control, for example if he hurls his plate across the kitchen and then bursts into fits of giggles, whilst leaving a smear of vegetables and gravy all over my wall then I will tell him I don't find it funny, and that naughty boys are obviously not hungry and I get him down and take him to the playpen/travelcot we have erected in the lounge. I know he does not understand what I say, I am hoping the tone in my voice (I don't shout), and the fact he got removed from the table will make him think twice about doing it again. I have to tell him off, because my 2.5 year old would copy him, and I can't have 2 sets of rules.

Also I use this playpen as a place he can play peacefully when I am getting meals ready, it's stacked full of toys and I think he appreciates some chill out time.

A few months ago he used to like to come for a cuddle then whack me round the head, my eldest never did this, and I had to be firm, I would immediately put him down and tell him, 'mummy doesn't like little boys who hit and he can have a cuddle when he's stopped hitting me.' That has almost stopped now thanks to this approach.

Generally mine tend to have bad tantrums when they are tired, and I just take them off to bed with a kiss and a cuddle. Also I give kisses and cuddles when they get overwhelmed with their emotions, it is not their fault and they are not being naughty. But sometimes they don't want this so I have to leave them alone until they calm down and come for a kiss and a cuddle when they are ready.

With my eldest if she is naughty there is a 1-2-3 warning, whereby I ask her to do something and if she doesn't do it I count to 3, explaining 3 times what she needs to do and 3 times what will happen if she doesn't. Not always do we get to 3. This just wouldn't work with the 16 month-old, and I only really started doing this a couple of months ago.

Good luck!

Queazy Tue 30-Dec-14 11:50:34

Thanks for such a useful post - I found it hugely useful. It's comforting to know other people have tiny people who are beautiful most of the time but already having the odd tantrum! It's very tiring! I'm going to start doing 'time out play' and the other things you suggest to help calm her down when she gets overwhelmed. She's started waking for a couple of hours in the night, and I think the tiredness isn't helping. I just didn't realise the tantrums would start at a year old - let's hope this means they overcome them and become placid little two year olds grin Thanks again xx

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