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Suggestions please for exhausted dad!

(20 Posts)
Taler Thu 11-Dec-14 08:02:26

For half of the week I am at work and my DH takes our DD to nursery and collects her. When he brings her home she is ratty and tired and when he baths her he has a totally hard time of it as she proper screams from beginning to end, especially the undressing and dressing parts! To hear her you would think she's being tortured!

She is clearly soooooooo tired and this is the key to it all but what are we supposed to do?

She is of course more stimulated at nursery what with all the other babies and activities they do, plus she doesn't sleep much there - 30/40 minutes all day - not enough for a 1 year old (on the days she's with me she has at least an hour and a half at lunchtime and sometimes a nap in the morning too).

On the days she's with me she'll have her bath around 5:30pm and even at that time I can have trouble with her. She has clearly 'had enough' late afternoon and just wants bottle and bed! My DH though baths her later, aroubd 6:15pm but he can't bring this forward as he has work commitments.

So, please, and tips/suggestions for how we deal with this as it's incredibly stressful and tiring!


HeyMacWey Thu 11-Dec-14 08:05:16

Drop the bath. She'll be fine with a flannel wash.

callamia Thu 11-Dec-14 08:06:46

Do you need to bath her everyday? Of what about a speedy bath in the morning somedays? Can she nap on the way home from nursery? My son is the same age, and if he's tired, he'll sleep on the way home from nursery, or sometimes when we get home. It's late for a nap, but it's only quick, and it doesn't really adjust bedtime by anymore than half an hour.

Taler Thu 11-Dec-14 08:08:07

A friend also said to drop the bath but a) it's part of her bedtime routine so if she skips it 3 consecutive days a week will it not interfere with the rest of the week?; and b) it's mainly the dressing and undressing that is the worst bit

Taler Thu 11-Dec-14 08:10:40

Thank u. She does mostly fall asleep in the car on the way home but it's a 5 minute journey so not enough to 'refresh'. Don't see benefit in morning baths as a) not enough time and b) feel there's no harm in skipping bath altogether but it's more of it being part of the bedtime routine

anothergenericname Thu 11-Dec-14 08:11:20

Change the routine - baths can be a nightmare with a tired child. Stories are much easier!

Taler Thu 11-Dec-14 08:12:56

anothergenericname - do you mean drop the bath?

callamia Thu 11-Dec-14 08:17:25

I wouldn't be hung up on a routine that's winding her up more than it is anything else. My son gets a bath every other day, and it doesn't seem to matter whether he has a bath or not before bed.

MrsPepperMintonCandyCane Thu 11-Dec-14 08:18:09

Flannel wash at night and a speedy shower in the morning. Have a fun bath on a Saturday/Sunday evening.

AChickenCalledKorma Thu 11-Dec-14 08:21:15

The purpose of a bedtime routine is to help them settle for the night. If it's not doing that, there's no point carrying on with just because it's the routine.

addictedtosugar Thu 11-Dec-14 08:31:18

Easy dress / undress clothes - ie leggings and teeshirt, not the pretty top with 101 buttons up the back.
easy PJ - sagain, not the button ones to make that bit as smooth as possible.
I'd drop the bath on the middle night at Nursery.
Try and keep her awake in the car - I suspect it is actually the being woken when all she wants to do is sleep that is causing the problem. Mine are horrible if they wake shortly after dropping off to sleep. Food is the only thing that can sometimes calm them down. So is it worth some food - either in the car to keep her awake (banana, dry cereal sort of stuff), or as soon as DH wakes her to get out of the car?

anothergenericname Thu 11-Dec-14 08:36:11

Yes. Drop the bath. A bath is not an essential part of a bedtime routine. Find a new routine - one that actually suits your lifestyle smile

TortoiseInAShell Thu 11-Dec-14 09:15:25

Sounds like you could do with having your DD dressed in her night clothes before coming home in the car, if she always has a melt down from that moment on.

You can get those coverall plastic bibs that have arms and cover everything, so the nightwear underneath won't get soiled during tea-time.

A one year old will cope fine with a minor adjustment of no bath, especially if you do everything else the same; closed curtains, dim lights, clean teeth, story, or whatever the rest of your routine is.

PurpleStripedSock Thu 11-Dec-14 09:21:09

My DD was lucky if she got bathed at all during the week when she was one. She barely gets a bath midweek now she's 20 months. Why fight it? It's not like they are producing hormonal sweat which makes them stink. Just wipe her hands and face and chuck her in pyjamas.

Good luck :-)

I wonder if I should change my name to Slummy Mummy?

DixieNormas Thu 11-Dec-14 09:36:30

Ime once they are in a good sleeping routine at night, dont mind going to bed etc you can change things round a bit so dropping the bath shouldnt be a problem.

Story or something instead and bottle bed should be fine

LIG1979 Sun 14-Dec-14 22:12:53

My 2.5 year old needs alot of sleep and I find it tough fitting everything in on nursery days. I try to give her a snack in the car on the way home and don't do a bath most nights. I do try and give her a bit of a wash with a flannel but that is more so the day before ' s art stuff isn't still there and I don't appear a slummy mummy.

LittleBearPad Sun 14-Dec-14 22:17:24

Bin the bath

TortoiseInAShell Mon 15-Dec-14 15:58:58

How's it going OP?

furcoatbigknickers Mon 15-Dec-14 16:02:36

As been said stop bathing her on nursery nights, bottle story bec.

anotherdayanothersquabble Mon 15-Dec-14 16:22:27

She already has two routines, days with Mummy and days at nursery, changing the routine on the those days will be fine.

Try high energy music or low energy and see what works, and give signposts to bed. I used to put music on and dance around to keep my little ones from being to fractious in the evening and my daughter used to be happy if she knew bed was coming soon. I love the suggestion that nursery send her home in her pajamas and feeding her on the way home. Music in the car on the way home might work, try different types. If she falls asleep on the way home, so long as its not interfering with wake up time too much, put her to bed. It's not for long and it will change.

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