DS is an only child and gets plenty of stimulating play and fun with parents. We both work full time, and he has been in nursery since 18 months. He is still clingy when I drop him off, and his favourite thing is "mummy daddy time" where we wander around in the park etc, jumping around, having fun. Fair enough, its a long day at nursery. But come on kid, I need to take a dump from time to time, right?
I feel like I've done everything right. He's just been a vocal, whiny kid who constantly demands attention from me FOREVER. Nothing I've tried seems to have changed his essential approach to life. I've never been able to go to the bathroom on my own. It's still incredibly hard to get him to let me cook dinner or do anything that needs to be done when he is in the room. Nothing has changed. Will it ever, ever change? For example, I'm giving him lots of cuddles, feeding him dinner and trying to chat to my husband and we get:
"I WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME! DON'T TALK TO DADDY!"
Gentle instruction that shouting is not cool, and that mummy can chat to daddy if she wants, because daddy is her good friend. His standard response to any corrective comment, no matter how gentle is:
"I WANT A CUDDLE!!! WAAAH!"
Uh, kid, I am cuddling you. What is this if not cuddling?
"WAAAAAAAH"
Instead of moaning, could you just tell me what you want?
"I WANT A CUDDLE! I WANT WOLFIE! I WANT WARM MILK! DON'T TALK TO DADDY!!!! I WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME!!!!"
If you want to talk to me, don't shout. Just tell me something and I'll talk to you.
"CUDDLE!!!!! CUDDDLLLLLE!!!! I WANT A CUDDLE!!!!"
Um... I think you want some time out, kid.
"CUDDLE!!!! I WANT CUDDLE!!!'
Or say, we are watching a TV show about disturbingly sentient trains, let's call it Smuggington, and having a chat about it. He politely requests warm milk. I go up to get it ready and walk into the open-plan kitchen literally one metre away in full view.
"SIT NEXT TO ME!!!"
Uh, how am I going to heat up your milk while simultaneously sitting on the sofa?
"BUT I WANT YOU TO SIT NEXT TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
Do you want this milk or not?
"I WANT CUDDLE!!!!!!"
So it is an endless round of 3-2-1 time-outs, mini-meltdowns, tearful apologies and post-apology cuddles. I mean, I do pretty much anything he asks if a) he asks nicely and b) it's actually reasonable or doable, including (you guessed it) cuddling. If it's not reasonable I tell him I can't do it and he has a meltdown. Meltdowns don't get him anything. But he can't seem to learn from this. So, like I said, I think I'm doing things right, or at least consistently. But his behaviour doesn't change. He's just the same whiny, moany, demanding, clingy kid he's been from the beginning.
It seems to have gotten even worse lately. He's recently forced me into going back to co-sleeping, because we took the cot-side down and he just comes into our room and who has the energy to deal with that at 2:00am. I don't mind that so much TBH, he's not so kicky as he used to be, but it means that DH has to go sleep in the kiddie room. I'm wondering if this has made him even more attached and clingy than usual? I would have thought he'd get enough of mummy-cuddling in the night, or maybe he's just become a mummy-cuddle addict?
I think we are transitioning out of the 'terrible twos' phase and to be honest, it wasn't that different from what came before, and where we are going is also about the same as what came before. So.
Of course, he is an angel with everyone else.
Will he just grow out of this? How can I manage his behaviour any better without just turning myself into a cuddle-slave who never eats, goes to work, or poos? Thoughts?
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Behaviour/development
DS 2y 10 months, still insanely clingy.
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SnoozingCyborg · 10/12/2014 11:47
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