Advanced search


(12 Posts)
alexsmum Fri 16-Apr-04 22:33:16

Ok I have a bright, normally developing 4 year old who has got this weird problem with doing poos. He is more or less completely dry during the day, and also knows how to go to the toilet for a poo and does so quite regularly. But he will also poo his pants quite often. Yesterday we were in the park and he went and stood by a tree and pooed. I didn't realise what he was doing and shouted 'come on' but he just stood there. when I walked across he shouted don't come close . then I realisedwhat he'd done.
Today he was spending the day at my friends house with her ds, and they were palying nicely and he had been taking himself to the loo all day. Then in the afternoon they were having a rest on the bed, and he got out of bed , got UNDER the bed and pooed himself. Why didn't he just go to the loo??????
When I try to talk to him about it , he just says " it wa san accident mummy" and then just blanks me. My friend said he did the same to her , just started humming and then changed the subject.
He is starting school in september and I am getting really worried about this. Any suggestions at all would great.
Sorry this is so long.

luckymum Sat 17-Apr-04 21:20:35

Alexsmum - Just bumping this as I don't really have any advice but my sister's ds had this problem - his was linked to really bad constipation. It hurt him to go so he used to hold it until a bit just slipped out. She used to find little 'packages' quite often. Is he constipated do you think?

alexsmum Sun 18-Apr-04 10:38:35

Luckymum, thanks for responding .No he's not constipated AT ALL!!
Not surprising given the amount of fruit he eats!!
Since I posted this he's just been going to the toilet as normal. Its weird that he has these blips.

goosey Sun 18-Apr-04 11:08:11

Hi alexmum, sometimes children of this age think that if they hide to do something then no-one will know that they have done it. I would suggest that your son wanted to go and poo so he just hid and did it in his pants rather than go to the trouble of asking for/finding the toilet on his own. To me it sounds as if it is simply a phase he is ging through which would be best treated by praising the times he goes in the toilet and by matter of factly cleaning him up and talking to him about the way that big boy's should use the toilet. I'm sure it will pass as he matures.

grumpymummy Sun 18-Apr-04 22:28:30

Alexsmum, I too have normal boy who is 5 tomorrow actually but has always had a problem pooing in his pants. It started as soon as he was out of nappies at 3, he just never pooed in toilet. This went on for a year until I had had enough and after many discussions with health visitor took him to gp. She was quite a help but still didn't solve problem. She thought he was a bit too angry for his age and referred him to child pyschologist but they weren't interested as they thought it was physical problem and not behavioural. However we started getting desperate as he was starting school last september so decided to be really mean and not let him watch his favourite programmes on telly then luckily we were going on holiday in summer for 2 weeks and i think the constant attention and lots of bribery from daddy with new toys we managed to get him pooing on potty by end of holiday. He soon started doing in the toilet and was fine by the time he started school. Unfortunately, after this xmas when he started staying for lunch he started doing it in pants again!! hoped it would just be a minor blip but soon turned into everyday again. We had a good chat and when he finished school for easter hols he said he wouldn't do it anymore, and he hasn't the whole time we've been off. He's back to schoold tomorrow though so I'll have to see how he goes. It's nice to know that my son isn't the only one! I know my younger brother had the same problem and gp said it can run in families. It is so frustrating and at times I have cried so much because I can't understand why he is doing it. All I can say is try not to worry and extreme bribery has worked for us!!!! Sorry if i have gone on a bit!!

stripey Mon 19-Apr-04 11:30:35

Hi I know how you both feel. I had the same problem with my ds, he is now 3 1/2 and has been OK for a while but has had relapses before and this weekend he pooed his pants twice for no apparent reason. He is at playgroup this morning and I am worried he might do it there. I try to get him to go before we leave the house and quite often to my amazement even though he hasn't mentioned needing the toilet he will often poo. I do think sometimes he is just absorbed in whatever he is doing and doesn't think to go to the toilet although as I say he has been really good until this weekend so I am just waiting to see if the accidents were one offs or if we are back to this again. I find it so frustrating as he is a bright boy and I just can't work out why he does it. I did speak to my HV but she couldn't give any real advice. What broke the cycle for us the last time was a star chart on the toilet door he was very proud of himself counting the stars at the end of the day and would often insist on e.g 3 stars if he had done 3 poos in the toilet at once. Apart from this I don't have any real advice.

BTW he does eat a lot of fruit too and often needs to go several times a day - my HV though this was strange and he should only be going once per day?

alexsmum Tue 20-Apr-04 16:35:48

how can the hv say he should only be going once a day? Surely everyone is different? I quite often go more than once a day ( sorry too much info i know)
It is truly bizzarre. I felt so sorry for him though. The day he had pooed at my friends house , he went to the loo in the evening and did a poo. I heaped praise on him and he said " are you happy with me now mummy?" He must feel terrible.
My dh thinks its a security thing..if he's at home with us, he's confident to go to loo otherwise he's a bit wobbly. Who knows glad I'm not the only one though. This seems to be very much a boy thing doesn't it?

stripey Tue 20-Apr-04 16:45:38

You could be right about the security thing. My ds was particularly bad when dh had to work away and that is when a major relapse occured. I do think stress can be a factor but once they start it is hard to change the pattern. Thankfully ds has been OK since the w/e.

Good Luck

Soulfly Tue 20-Apr-04 17:15:40

I know this is probably gonna be no help to you. But when i was little i had a phobia of toilets i was alright at home, but if we were out or at someone elses house, i would hold it all day No 1 and No2, Probably nothing to do with it. but i still remember and am still abit weary about them now and i am 25 tommorow.

mum2three Tue 20-Apr-04 21:32:29

Hi all,I do hope I'm doing this right but this is my first attempt using "talk",but here goes..
I have been toilet training my ds who was 3 in feb for months. Wee's have been fine but until today has been pooing everywhere! He wouldn't wear a nappy and has been pooing daily in them.He has been hideing under the bed,behind the seatee and like some of you have said i know he understands. I have tried to be relaxed but really got me down.Anyway on a bribe bought him "scarey" from the little robbots and a kinder egg! that he could have once he did the deed in the right place.Anyway today,out of the blue he shocked my dh and myself by announcing he was off to do a poo by himself!!! and did the same this afternoon!!! I was so pleased that he had the whole kinder egg during breakfast!! I have no magic advice for anyone but it is true what they say that they all get there in the end,in there own time!It has been nice to see so many of you going through this.

alexsmum Wed 21-Apr-04 23:26:45

A bit of a success today.At another friends house to play, suddenly heard ds calling me from the bathroom. He'd taken himself up there and had a poo and needed help with wiping his bot. I was SOOO pleased with him for not doing it in his pants!!!! Also yesterday, he did a poo on the loo at nursery. How do I know? Because he hadn't wiped his bottom!! But at least we're getting there!

jojopops Sat 22-May-04 22:18:34

My son is 4 1/2 and does his poo in his pants all the time. He is fine with the other and will wake up in the night and take himself for a wee. We have tried all sorts of emotions with him but to no avail. He will hide in a corner or go upstairs and do his business and then carry on playing, not worried at all with the package in his pants. If we do catch him starting to do it, and get him sitting on the toilet he will just wiggle until it falls off, but won't push anymore out!!! We are currently waiting to see the 'poo specialist' but don't hold out much hope there. We have tried star charts and bribery but doesn't have any effect on him. He starts school in September and we are desperate to get him sorted out. Any ideas anyone??

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: