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Behaves well at home but getting into trouble at school

(5 Posts)
GreyerbytheDay Thu 04-Dec-14 21:46:44

My nearly 4 yo DD started part-time at a new nursery in September. She was previously at a different one Easter to July before we moved house. All started well, but over the last few weeks the teacher has pulled us aside a few times at the end of the session to tell us DD has been naughty. This has happened three times in the last week. First she filled containers with water from the water table then poured it on the floor; earlier this week she wouldn't sit nicely for the Nativity rehearsals two days in a row and ended up being sent to sit on a bench on her own; today she was throwing water around in the toilets when supposed to be washing her hands. The school use a time out system when a child misbehaves, so she has been in time out for all of these incidents.

The problem is that I don't recognise the child they're talking about - she doesn't behave like this at home - and I'm not sure how to deal with this. She's a typical three-year-old at home, but she doesn't do this sort of thing for us. Maybe because she knows that when her Dad or I start counting, there are consequences and we don't often get past 2 before she stops doing whatever she shouldn't be doing.

I am at a loss as to how to deal with this because I'm not there and she's my only child so I'm still finding my way with how we manage this school/home relationship. I don't want her to become the naughty child in the class. Has anyone got any good advice?

LittleBairn Thu 04-Dec-14 21:50:15

Did she behave at her old nursery? I wonder if this is her way of expressing that she isn't happy at the new nursery.
For what its worth few 4 year olds have the concentration skills to sit through rehearsals two days in a row and I would question if the water play table incident was on purpose or just a child playing and getting over excited.

LittleBairn Thu 04-Dec-14 21:53:28

IME children shouldn't be disciplined at home for what happens at nursery, most decent nurserys will agree, its their place to deal with this behaviour. Just remind her and bak up the staff on the type of behaviour they want listening, calm play and to wash hands nicely.
If she was put on time out immediately especially for the water table incident I wouldn't be happy that's very draconian.

Goldmandra Thu 04-Dec-14 22:20:14

You can't deal with this. Children this age live in the moment.

If another Early Years practitioner asked me how they should deal with a child behaving like your DD, I would advise them to watch her to see whether there's something trigger her behaviour, reduce the time you expect the children to sit and wait and supervise a bit more effectively. The last thing I'd expect would be for the parents to take any responsibility apart from perhaps looking rather disappointed/disapproving when they heard about it.

tobysmum77 Fri 05-Dec-14 06:19:10

I would ask for a meeting, explain your approach at home and ask them to do the same.

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