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6 month old waking like newborn

(22 Posts)
Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 09:29:38

Her are the facts.
DD2
Almost 6 months
EBF
Wakes every 2 hours
Have begun some solids
Born 98th centile now 81st
Have other child so can't let her scream the house down
Wakes to feed
Seems hungry
Loves to do her poos at night
Doesn't know how to drink from bottle
Would prefer not to give formula yet
Ideas? Please? Getting desperate x

AnythingNotEverything Thu 27-Nov-14 09:31:28

We had this. Very similar situation. We tried everything and in the end a mix of cosleeping and waiting it out we're the only things that worked.

After a couple of months she started sleeping through again. Sorry. That's probably not the miracle solution you wanted to hear.

Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 09:37:12

This isn't new by the way. She used to go from 7 until 1, but for the oast couple of months it's been 7, 10, 12, 2, 5 and 7.30.
Co-sleeping is hard. DH (a.k.a the baby guru hmm) seems to think i should a) give a bottle of formula and b) let her cry it out.
If i try to go sleep (she's already in our room) then he will get shitty if i even mention the word 'tired'..."well you know what to do" he'll say. hmmhmmhmm

Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 09:39:47

That should read co-sleep not go sleep.
I feel like I'm just existing...not living.

spaghettisue Thu 27-Nov-14 09:50:14

That's a really annoying comment by your dh isn't it? Formula does not necessarily mean a longer sleep, despite people's assumptions!!

At 6 months your dd is just starting solids but probably isn't having a huge amount to eat. I think it likely that as she increases her solid intake (which might happen really quickly) her night wakenings will decrease and then stop.

My ds is 13 months, still breastfed, never had a bottle. He generally woke once in the night (about 3am) till 10 months, then also dropped his 11pm feed just very recently.

I do remember times of him waking 2 or 3 times in the night though (brutal!) and it was probably around 6 months.

It will pass, and my guess is it is just due to your little one probably needing to up her solids a but,which she will do naturally over the next few weeks.

Chin up,and ignore dh comments, no need or reason to switch to formula at all, especially if you are happy to bf.

Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 10:54:06

That's quite reassuring actually spaghettissue. (Sorry if misspelt. On phone)...
I had hoped with the introduction of more food she might sleep better. I'm just not sure if she's actually hungry or it's just a bad habit that needs breaking. DH last night told me to leave her when she started stirring at 2.30am. I thought I would try and see if she settles herself (thumb sucker) but she just kept crying. I was scared to go pick her up just in case she was close to settling and i knew as soon as she felt me she would go burrowing for boob. She ended up so worked up it was actually really distressing for me and her. Which lead to me feeling really angry at DH. DH and his 'helpful' advice often gets me really angry actually. I ended up shouting at him, i've grown her in my body, birthed her and sustained her for the past 6 months. I think i know how to take care of her. He rook that as 'i'm just the father. Do it on your own then'...but I was asking him to support me but support me in MY decisions as i believe that yes...i do know best out of the 2 of us. He says little things like "make sure you feed her properly this time"...as opposed to? He thinks I'm falling asleep on the job.

NickyEds Thu 27-Nov-14 10:59:32

Anyone would bloody think formula fed babies slept 12 straight hours a night!! I stopped mix feeding and went to f at 5.5 months and it made no difference and at 6.5 months Ds's sleep went dramatically down hill (from sleeping through at 12 weeks to up every 2 hours or so). I honestly think it's just their age, what with weaning, teething, rolling and DS started crawling at this age too. Sorry op, it's shit. DS is 11 months now and his sleep just seemed to get better on its own. I would just do whatever you need to to get through this-co-sleep, feed to sleep, alternate lie ins at the weekend, nap in the day if you can, go to bed early. Tell your husband to grow up, if it were as easy as he's making it sound no one would ever have a crap sleeper would they?

nc060 Thu 27-Nov-14 11:06:07

My baby is exclusively formula fed and believe me he doesn't even nearly sleep through!!!

spaghettisue Thu 27-Nov-14 11:17:43

Many many 6 month (and older!) babies will wake for a milk feed in the night. If she's stirring at 2.30, she's unlikely to go back to sleep, she needs a milk feed. Some babies are sleeping through at 3 months, some are waking more than once at 10 months, they're all different, regardless of whether breast or formula fed

It will pass - I promise you!! You just have to put up with it, but it will pass.

I'm sorry you're having to put up with dh's remarks, he sounds a bit inconsiderate. If you're willing to bf, he should be supporting that decision. You're both tired of course, and that makes everyone more likely to snap.

Sending you hugs though. Broken nights are brutal. It will pass.

NickyEds Thu 27-Nov-14 11:31:53

"make sure you feed her properly this time" shockshock

Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 11:41:55

Ugh thanks all. Before he left for work i had tentatively agreed to give one formula feed a night a go...but now i'm not sure if i should just stick to my guns and accept i have a shit sleeper? If i introduce formula now and with her eating more meals i will have to pump to keep my supply up...and from what you are saying it may not even make any difference! I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep all week.
And yes, when i gave him a hug this morning and said sorry for last night, he got all "yeah you're always sorry and you always snap..it's like, shout, hug, forgive, shout, hug, forgive". I was like far out i apologised for something and i now feel I shouldn't have bothered. It's not like you aren't saying anything to upset me when i am already finding it so hard! Why can't you just accept the part you play? And he was like, "well i'm not the one shouting am i?" Where's the crying despairing faced emoji when you need it? I just.need.sleep! Napping in the day seems like some kind of sick joke when you have a 3 year old who doesn't nap. Gah!

spaghettisue Thu 27-Nov-14 11:54:37

I'd give it a few more weeks. Switching to formula probably won't make any difference to how often she wakes.

If you want to introduce a bottle so you get a of rest from feeding etc, go for it, but it's not likely to make her wake less.

Your other half is being totally unsupportive. Obviously he is tired, but regardless, he is being unsupportive.

If you introduce formula at night, and that makes no difference, I wonder what his comeback will be then?

Try avocado, banana for weaning foods. They are nice and filling.

spaghettisue Thu 27-Nov-14 12:13:27

Bunyabiz, can you describe her waking pattern at night?

Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 12:26:18

Sure. Bed at 7 (we have a good bedtime routine) feed, bath story with DD1 etc.
Then wakes around 10.30...hungry. Straight back to sleep when fed. Then wakes again at 12.30, feed back to sleep. Wakes at about 2.30...feed...farts...babbles...farts some more...does a big giant up the back poo which requires outfit change...back to sleep around 3.30. Wakes around 6(ish) feeds, then back to sleep until 7.30 ready to get up.

Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 12:27:03

This is more or less the pattern over the past at least month

NickyEds Thu 27-Nov-14 12:42:00

Sorry about the sleep in the day suggestion- didn't know how old your other DD was. Even so I know what you mean about a sick joke. I've never managed to nap in the day. Does your husband realise that adding a ff at night will definitely improve your sleep, but only if he gives it???
My ds went through a pooing in the night phase at this age and grew out of it. I put it down to teething? In which case have you tried calpol?

Nunyabiz Thu 27-Nov-14 13:30:34

Ah no don't be sorry Nicky. That was only my attempt at humour blush no offence was taken at all. I really appreciate everyone's advice. Even if just manage to confide in someone wink

NickyEds Thu 27-Nov-14 13:50:31

It does sometimes help doesn't it. I just get sooo completely sick of hearing about babies sleeping through. One night when DS had woken up every hour on the hour my friend said "God, DD was up at 3am for no reason!"- totally outraged that she'd been woken up once!Grrrr.
Joking aside the only thing that gets me through is the support of my OH. When I've been in tears at 2am swearing I'll do cc/move out(!)/anything at all to try and get DS to sleep, he's always just said "tell me what I can do to help". It makes a massive difference. Maybe giving a ff will help, maybe a tooth emerging will help, maybe learning to crawl will help- you really can't be sure but it sounds like you could do with a bit more rl support.

spaghettisue Thu 27-Nov-14 18:53:27

Ah, you are up in the night absolutely loads aren't you. Far more than you can comfortably cope with. She sounds like a very hungry baby and was obviously heavy at birth. She needs her grub!

I do think you'll find it easier when she ups her solids, but it might be worth trying a bottle to see if it makes any difference. You can still go back to exclusively breastfeeding a bit later on if she cuts down her night feeds. Have you thought about the formula for extra hungry babies? Your body will just learn to make more milk again.

And if you do try formula, it generally works best when it's someone other than you - as otherwise she'll smell the milk, be confused, and not want a bottle from you. So dh probably.

A great way for you to get a bit of extra sleep too which you definitely need. Perhaps dh could do the 10.30 feed and you get yourself to bed early?

Good luck. Xx

Littlef00t Sat 29-Nov-14 15:28:35

I will say dd and other babies I know all got more restless and pooing at night when they started weaning.

Have you tried offering just cuddles or water to get back to sleep, it looks like your LO is getting milk every time she wakes?

Biscuitless Sun 30-Nov-14 23:58:33

Massive sympathy. I don't have much to suggest about the sleeping, but am concerned about the small amount of sleep you are getting and the lack of support from your OH. Does he provide support at other times eg letting you lie in or nap at weekends? If not I suggest you have a serious talk about the effects of prolonged sleep deprivation, and suggest that in order to face dealing with the night time wake ups (including deciding how to deal with them) you need to be in a better place and therefore you each take turns catching up at weekends/ he does one or more formula feeds overnight to give you a rest.

I have been in a similar situation, with zero help due to my DH's attitude of "it's your fault you are tired as all you have to do is let her cry". Without wanting to concern you, I coped for months and months but ended up in a bad state, saw a psychiatrist as I started to lose my memory in a serious way (at work when I went back i would find documents I'd written and have no memory of them, and if someone came in to chat for 2 minutes i couldn't remember afterwards what I had been doing before). I also became depressed. So whatever your DH thinks about the situation he has to help YOU remain well, as how can you possibly look after a 3 year old (demanding even without a baby) on no sleep? And he is being unreasonable to think you can sleep train when you are so shattered as it will lead to less sleep in the short term even if you did decide to do it.

Re breast versus formula, mine were both ebf so no idea if a switch would help the sleeping but I would not have thought at this stage an odd formula feed would mess too much with your supply, so you could give it a go one or two nights and then decide whether to persevere. My current baby has days where he eats solids and less milk, and days where it is 100 per cent milk, and the variation doesn't seem a problem. As a pp has said, get DH to give formula. He may find she won't take it.

1charlie1 Mon 01-Dec-14 09:03:08

I think we have the same baby! Nearly 7 months, naps well in the day, self settles to sleep beautifully by 7.30 pm... then from 10.30 follows your DDs schedule exactly. It did improve for a bit (just two feeds in the night) but we're back to the grim every two hour wake to feeds. He has such big feeds too, so I'm reluctant to try any type of 'training'. He seems to need it. But it's very wearing. Sympathy flowers

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