Worried about 2.6 year old development

[Notfastjustfurious]

My dd is 2.6 and doesn't seem to be as physically able as her peers, she can't jump and doesn't really climb much. At toddler group the others climb in and out of the ball pit jumping from the edge and rolling around, mine gets a leg up the shouts for me to help her. She also doesn't seem to like other children her own age - especially if they get into the ball pit when she's already there. This pretty much always ends with her looking horrified and yelling for me to rescue her. Finally she does this arm waving thing, mainly when she's excited about something but sometimes just randomly its kind of like they do their own thing and she loses control of them for several seconds.

Is this normal? Will she grow out of it? I'm paranoid about autism as there seems to be a lot of it in dh's family but when I read up on that her other behaviour doesn't match. I'm just really worried about how she will cope in school if she can't behave like the others.

[Goldmandra]

You need to try to take things one step at a time. Lots of children have quirky behaviours at this age and grow out of them and a child will only get a diagnosis of Autism if the symptoms are having a significant negative affect of their life. It doesn't sound like that describes your DD at all at the moment.

Autism is complicated and can present very subtly in girls to bear it in mind but try not to dwell on it. Whatever happens, a diagnosis wouldn't change her.

I have childminded a lot of children over the years. Some have been very slow to climb and run but caught up by the time they started school. Some have had really obvious ticks, rituals and/or obsessions but, again, they have grown out of them.

My own DD1 walked ridiculously early but didn't climb on the sofa until she was 3YO. Some children are just not thrill seekers. She didn't grow out of her quirkiness and ended up with a diagnosis of AS when she was 12. She is different, not less and I wouldn't take her AS away for the world. It brings some lovely traits alongside the difficulties

[Goldmandra]

negative affect of their life

a negative effect on their life

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

I have a 10 year old DD who was similar OP. She hated other children near her as a toddler and at playgroup she would never mix or run around like the others. She'd just do the organised crafts and eat the snack....I had to stay by her side.

But hey....she's still not outgoing or into running around but she does have lovely friends and is doing very well academically.

She's quirky for sure but then so am I.

The arm waving thing I'm not sure about ...could just be a habit. Does she do any unusual eye movements or wiggle her fingers by her face?

[Notfastjustfurious]

Thanks you both for your replies. I guess none of this affects dd right now and I may well be worrying about nothing. Bil was involved in an awful incident recently which occurred due to his inability to read people and it got me worried about dds future. It is just her arms she waves no eye or finger things, it started at about 12 months I think and is something I've seen other babies do, she just hasn't stopped.

[BarbarianMum]

Arm waving only becomes a possible red flag for autism after age 4. Even then its a co-morbidity rather than a diagnostic criteria ie if the only 'symptom' is flapping then its not autism, no matter how much she does it.

Rather than focus on that google the 'triad of impairent' for autism and see if what you read sounds familiar - girls do often present more subtly than boys but its still impairment in social communication, social imagination and social imagination that defines it.

[naturalbaby]

How is her mobility at home? How long has she been struggling with getting in and out of the ball pit? Maybe it's just that one set up she struggles with and needs time to practice.
You could set up a mini obstacle course in your living room to help her strength and mobility. We used to have a mini soft play room instead of a lounge!

[Notfastjustfurious]

At home she can climb on/off the sofa and dining chairs and can get up the stairs on all fours fairly quickly - stairs are quite steep. She is very careful though and doesn't go into anything with usual toddler reckless abandon, even a puddle is checked out before she wades in just in case it's too deep.

I've looked at the triad but she's maybe a bit too young to judge just yet, I do recognise bil in that though. Her dislike of other toddlers seems new so hopefully it's just a phase last week she was sharing her favourite toy with the very same toddler she was so horrified by on Monday.