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Fear of some people - normal toddler phase?

(3 Posts)
blushingmare Sun 23-Nov-14 21:40:40

I just wanted to know if people think this sounds like a normal toddler phase to you?

DD is 2.5 and a bright, sociable and chatty girl, normally very confident and entertaining. However, there are certain people she meets in life that for no apparent reason she just takes against! And when she does she is virtually paralysed by fear - she will go very quiet and still, start to whimper and cry a little and if we don't take her away will work herself into a full on melt down - absolutely distraught, screaming, the works.

It can make things awkward to say the least if it's a friend that she had this reaction to and I've started having to avoid certain people and situations because I know there's someone there who she has this reaction to and it's just impossible to keep her in the same room if it happens. No amount of reasoning or talking her through it helps and talking about the person at another time and saying how nice they are etc doesn't have any effect.

I know 2yo can have these strange whims. Is this just one of those that she'll grow out of or do you think it's anything to be concerned about?

YokoUhOh Sun 23-Nov-14 21:59:17

DS is 2 and has just started to take against random things. Sudden noises reduce him to tears and he met Pudsey Bear the other day, cue a whole load of screaming. From what I've read, it's a normal developmental stage and they grow out of it. I suppose in terms of evolution, it doesn't make sense for them to be trusting around people/things, as they might get harmed.

GingerSkin Sun 23-Nov-14 22:12:31

Dd has been like this from 12 months, especially all granddads (DF, dsf, dfil, my dg).

Utter terror and fear of being left alone with them. Now at 3.4,she just tolerates being in the same room as my dsf but my DF, no chance.

My tactic is to acknowledge her feelings, not push the person on her, do not force kisses or insist on saying hello, but talking about said person if I know we're seeing them that day. I'll talk about why she feels scared (mainly) afterwards, but I don't get much back about the 'why'

She was always nervous of men, especially older men but over time she has got better with them and I put that down to me not forcing any relationships, or putting her in a position where she feels scared or vulnerable. she trusts that we'll listen to her.

Try and acknowledge feelings by asking her after the meltdown has finished, why she's scared of that person.

I can really relate to your post. I used to feel embarrassed, I don't now. I have to think of dd and what she's trying to convey despite it being fucking ridiculously difficult and feeling as though you're the only parent of a child who hates her own grandparents

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