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Feel like I'm failing my 9 week old

(8 Posts)
picknmiss Sun 23-Nov-14 17:01:19

My DS (my first) was born via emcs nearly 10 weeks ago, we were in hospital for a week and both needed a course of iv antibiotics, so not a great start! He's mixed fed and has been incredibly fussy and unsettled since birth. The midwives even took him off me two nights in the hospital to settle him as they said I had to at least get some rest to recover.

At home the crying persisted so I went to the GP who said it sounded like silent reflux. We've elevated his cot, we keep him upright after feeds and we tried feeding little and often. This had little impact and we had a night nanny for 2 nights who told us to stop the little feeds as we weren't feeding him enough and he was crying from hunger and colic.

So we added infacol and formula top ups to every meal. He's improved as he's got older but now seems to get very over tired, but he doesn't like to sleep in the day and will spend hours resisting sleep and will only nap for 30 mins at a time. He often wakes up crying which I assume must be due to wind. More than this though is the fact he just seems to find everything upsetting. He's happy immediately after a feed but will cry for hours the rest of the time.

Whenever we take him anywhere he screams, so whenever we see drs or health visitors they comment on it and ask if he's always like this sad Today we had to abandon a baby swim class 10 mins in as he just wouldn't stop screaming. I felt so sad watching the other babies happily bouncing in the water. I feel like my boy is unhappy all the time and I'm just a crappy mum because I can't fix it and could even be causing it.

I'm seeing the GP and HV tomorrow and we have tried cranial osteopathy already, another appointment due on wednesday. Everyone said he would sleep after the first session but he cried all the way home and had a rubbish night. Sorry for such a long post, I just don't know what else to do or who to ask for help. Thank you for reading, any suggestions appreciated.

Jaffakake Sun 23-Nov-14 17:59:17

I've got no real a advice other than it sounds like you're doing everything you can & have the medical professionals lined up for to more which is good. There are plenty of us who've had a similarly shaky start and will tell you all motherhood is, is trying whatever you think is right to sort a problem & eventually you'll hit on the answer. That's what good mums do & I can categorically tell you are not failing.

Good luck tomorrow & I hope you get the help you need x x

Wonkyparsnip Sun 23-Nov-14 18:05:39

I can't offer any advice but stay positive. I had a baby who cried for the first 4 months. Swimming, play dates etc were so awful as everyone cuddled their babies talking about the fabulous newborn time while mine screamed and I cried.

I know at the moment everything is so hard but Inow have the most delightful, full of fun 1 year old who I find easy because of the newborn hell. It gets better. Take all the help you can and ignore people who are not a help. You will get through this.m

Bedsheets4knickers Sun 23-Nov-14 18:07:46

You are not failing your baby. My son had a beautiful 1st 2 wks then had a fussy 6 months from then on . My daughter was so chilled until 6 months then had a very unsettled 6-12 months. I swear if I took my son swimming he would of screamed to. He screamed through baby massage.
You thinking your failing shows how much you care. Your probably knackerd ??? 9 wks it's hard. Your doing great xx

NancyRaygun Sun 23-Nov-14 18:10:32

You must remember that you are doing everything right! From your post you couldn't be doing more yo help him so let that guilt go! You feeling guilty doesn't help him and this sounds like a problem you need professional help with, it's no reflection on you, you sound like a great mum! smile

DearTeddyRobinson Sun 23-Nov-14 18:17:27

Infant Gaviscon was our saviour, DS had reflux and screamed for 5 months till we got it sorted. Gastro- intestinal problems are quite common with c section babies. Try the gaviscon and hang in there, it does get better. And forget about baby swimming etc unless it's something you really want to do for yourself! They really don't need it. bitter experience

Itscurtainsforyou Sun 23-Nov-14 18:20:05

We had a very similar situation, never found any cause. It seemed to get better from about 12 weeks onwards but no idea why.

picknmiss Sun 23-Nov-14 20:33:01

Thank you so much for your lovely messages! Its so reassuring so thank you, its so horrible seeing him distressed I just want to make it better! I'm going to ask the GP for gaviscon tomorrow, thanks for the tip smile I'll try not to let it get to me so much, everyone warns you about the sleepless nights but it's been harder emotionally than I ever knew!

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