Taming of the shrew

[dorasee]

Ok that's a little harsh. :-)
I adore my lovely 4 1/2 year old DD. She is a happy, spirited, creative little soul.
Since she started school everything's been really positive. She's happy there and enjoys going to class every day. We feel lucky. Our first child had issues when he started school, so it's nice to be starting out on solid footing. Let's hope it lasts! :-)
BUT here is the downside: DD has taken to hanging out with two lovely boys who are wild, fun, and humourous. They're cute kids but they are HYPER!! it's too much at times. When we leave the school gates at pick-up, it all goes a bit crazy. These two boys come running up to her, hugging, shouting, dragging her back towards the school, wanting to play and roughhouse... my little one does roughhouse and she is a bit of a tomboy but it's exhausting me!!! I dread the school gates. I dread the interaction between my DD and these two kids. She gets alllll worked up and wild and giggly and grumpy and just nuts! It is a nightmare. I've got three kids to get home and prepare food for and our school run is about 45 minutes. So my Swiss precision goes out the window when these goons come up and ambush DD! Naturally she gets all overly excited. Yes, I've done the talks, the "we're going now, this minute!" but what is even harder are the other mums. They absolutely promote this spontaneous playdate outside the school gates and are in no rush to get home. It's like they're waiting for us. I feel like I'm not handling this well at all and my attempts to leave and say goodbye to the mums and their kids just doesn't work. I have made my excuses to leave; "I must go. The baby is tired and needs to feed. We must go. I have to collect my other child from secondary. We must go... do we need a reason??? It's 3:30! It's time to go home! Isn't that good enough?" Ok I haven't said the latter, but I think it all the time. I want to go home at 3:30. I am not a hang out by the school gates kind of mum, not because I'm aloof, but I just don't have the time.
What am I doing wrong? What should I be doing to manage this better? What have you parents done in a similar situation? Many thanks.

[MerryInthechelseahotel]

Is it a case of you not wanting to stay at school or really not having the time? I suppose either way you are in charge and that is that I suppose. My 6 year old loves his time in the playground after school. We stay for 30mins approx each day. I see the kids who have to go straight home for whatever reason looking longingly at the kids playing. My ds can't play in the street though so it does give him that extra time and I enjoy a good natter!

Maybe you could say just on Fridays? Or some day or not at all, I mean they will survive!

How come you have such a long commute?