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3yo reacting badly to encouragement

(3 Posts)
cantmakecarrotcake Mon 17-Nov-14 19:14:51

DD (3 nearly 4) doesn't like encouragement. Everyone seems to suggest lots of positive attention and encouragement is good for getting children to do stuff but today DD - who is a reluctant (lazy) walker - walked/scooted to a friend's house and back. We were nearly back at the house and I told her she was a superstar and that I was really proud of her. Cue her bursting into tears.

Anyone else have this? How do you manage the delicate balance of encouraging without having the opposite effect. How does this work at school?

She's generally a pretty stubborn character and has no currency with which I can bribe her. If she doesn't want to do something she'll just crumple to the floor and hide under the dining table!

We have DD2 on the way and would like to try and understand her better so we don't end up battling each other over things I know she can do to be more independent.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks Mon 17-Nov-14 19:48:28

I was taught by a very wise man to use "You should be pleased with yourself" and "You should be proud of that" rather than "I'm proud" or "We're proud"

So that she learns to do things for herself.

cantmakecarrotcake Mon 17-Nov-14 19:52:50

Interesting. I'll try that. Actually, thinking about it she was only saying something like that about Mel Giedroig (or however you spell it) on The Choir the other day.

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