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11 month old not waving, clapping or pointing

(15 Posts)
LittleRedRobin10 Mon 17-Nov-14 12:47:48

My lovely DS has just turned 11 months and has been for his developmental review with the health visitor. She seemed very concerned that he doesn't yet wave, clap or point and that he doesn't say any words or follow any verbal instructions. She wants to refer him to the county's child development team for further assessment. Help! I'm feeling so worried about him now. He's a lovely little boy and is smiley, happy and busy cruising all over the house. Has anyone else had a baby that was later to clap/point/wave etc? It'd be great to have some reassurance.

Thank you!

Gingerbreadpixie Mon 17-Nov-14 13:11:50

My son is 15 months. He has only just started pointing and waving, has been clapping for a few months. He does say some words but that started shortly after his 1st birthday. All seems normal to me.

I think your health visitor is unnecessarily worrying you. This is why in his entire 15 months, DS has only ever seen a HV 2 or 3 times. And she gave me outdated advice!

Goldmandra Mon 17-Nov-14 13:36:25

Try not to worry.

Like every aspect of child development, there is an age at which most children have certain skills. Of those who don't have those skills at that age, some will just be naturally slower in that aspect of development and it is no indicator of their abilities later in life. Others are slower because there is a problem of some sort.

Your HV has to refer all the children she sees who haven't hit those milestones at this age simply so that a more highly qualified clinician has the opportunity to identify those who need some sort of intervention. This doesn't mean there is something wrong with your child.

My DDs did this with their physical growth. The HVs identified them as being behind and we saw paediatricians and had extra monitoring for quite some time. Both ended up following the same pattern of being very small compared to their peers for years and then suddenly catching up around the age of ten. They were clearly growing in the way that was right for them.

Your DS may be doing all the things that are causing concern by the time the first appointment comes round and then he'll be checked over and discharged.

If he does turn out to need some sort of intervention, you can be grateful that you have a vigilant HV and he will get it sooner rather than later because that often makes a difference to the child's outcomes.

choc0clock Mon 17-Nov-14 13:38:33

little, children develop at different rates and I know a few NT children who did not wave clap or point at that age.

However, I have 2 daughters. One with autism and one how is NT. My DD with autism did not do any of the above mentioned until 1.5-2 years old. My neurotypical daughter did all of them well before her first birthday. I also had a tough time to get the GP and HV to take me seriously. So good on your HV on picking up on potential difficulties.

Guess what i am trying to say - better to get him checked out. If all is well, then you can relax and stop worrying and if he does need help, then the sooner it is identified the better. early intervention can make such a difference

catdoctor Mon 17-Nov-14 13:48:14

Hi - I've just had exactly the same experience - took DS2 for his review - he was just 11mo so had the 11-13 month 'test' - I'd forgotten the format since DS1 and hadn't taught him the (what felt like) necessary tricks he needed to know - e.g. putting something into a cup, looking for a hidden item - he looked at her as if she were completely mad!
He was in the 'grey zone', which made me feel completely shit tbh - gold is quite right of course, but this is my heart talking, not my head. Now I feel so bad as DS2 just joins in stuff rather than having me hanging on his every move like I did with DS1.
Since then, we've been playing the 'tricks' and he's learning them fast. Does this mean I'm usually not playing with him in the 'best' way? It's made me really cross actually - the HV was kind, obviously just doing her job to the best of her ability, but the whole experience really upset me.

Hedger Mon 17-Nov-14 20:37:41

Please let your HV refer him. At 11 months, there is every chance he will do all those things in the next few months and that there is nothing wrong with him (the pointing one is the key one and I personally wouldn't worry about it until about 15 months). HOWEVER, as I'm sure you know, all those things are red flags for autism and the key for autism is early intervention. Referral takes an age and so it is great that your HV is switched on and making the referral now. If he is fine (which he probably is!), you can take him out of the process. If he does have a problem, you'll have a great head start.

All the best.

LittleRedRobin10 Tue 18-Nov-14 09:12:38

Thanks everyone for your helpful and sensible advice. I'll wait and see what the referral brings and try not to worry too much in the meantime. It's so hard though as I love him so much and just want everything to be ok for him.

Thanks again. x

Hedger Tue 18-Nov-14 16:02:54

I know OP flowers. I wrote an almost identical post when my DS was 15 months and not doing any of those things. Turned out my DS does have ASD but there were many, many kind people who replied to say their child was exactly the same and they were very worried but that their child started doing all those things soon after and that they are now absolutely fine.

11 months is very little indeed and, as I say, I wouldn't be worried at this point if I were you. Try doing lots of enthusiastic pointing yourself ("Look! A plane!" Look! A duck!") and see if he catches on.

LittleRedRobin10 Wed 19-Nov-14 09:16:08

Thanks, Hedger, for sharing your story. I hope your little man is thriving and you're getting lots of helpful support now. x

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Wed 19-Nov-14 19:30:53

My DD did none of these things at that age, infact I'm pretty sure she has only started clapping unprompted in the last few months she's now 2.6, and I think pointing & waving started around 18months maybe. She is NT but speech delayed. she has been through all the referral process and from here on out just requires SALT. So although those things may be an indicator of something, they may not, but what's the harm in getting checked out, it'll put your mind at ease if nothing else smile

jaybirdsinginginthedeadofnight Wed 19-Nov-14 19:36:32

little does your DS check in with you? If he's given a new toy/something interesting, will he glance at you as if to say 'wow mummy look'? NT children will do this but some children with ASD will not, but I'm not an expert, I just know from DD's assessments the things they looked for.

Elllimam Thu 20-Nov-14 04:11:45

I don't think my DS waved, clapped or pointed at 11 months. He was just a really busy wee boy, toddling about all over the place. He is now 23 months and he is very bright and chatty (can recite the while alphabet and create 10 word sentences) xxxx

zoemaguire Thu 20-Nov-14 04:27:21

Neither of my first two did any of those things. They are fine now at 4 and 6. Jury out as to whether dd2 (9mo) will follow suit! I do think your HV handled it badly. Fair enough to make a referral but she ought to have reassured you and stressed that many many nt babies don't do these things at 11mo, and that referral doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem.

LittleRedRobin10 Fri 21-Nov-14 09:42:03

Thanks ladies - so helpful to hear your stories. x

Happymum1985 Tue 25-Nov-14 21:14:26

It has been said to me that sometimes children 'concentrate' on certain skills before others. My DS is 12 months old and he points, waves, babbles away and claps, but has literally only just started crawling. He has never attempted to pull himself up even. I think sometimes they are so focussed on one area that the other can take a backseat. Don't let yourself worry too much, I am sure your DC will do it all in time!

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