Tantrums and dummies - your thoughts please

[Taler]

My DD has just turned 1 and up until recently she has never really been too attached to her dummy, using it only to be settled to sleep and generally spits it out soon after. The last few weeks though there have been a number of occasions where myself and my DH have given in and given it to her as a last resort to pacify her when throwing a wobbly (as my dad calls it!).

I know she is ever-changing but until recently she had always been such a contented little soul, rarely cried and was always smiling.

I won't exaggerate and say from morning to night she is difficult as there are still plenty of times where she seems happy, but we now also have tantrums to contend with.

Earlier she 'threw a wobbly' cause she went from standing position on her changing mat to a sitting position?!?! WTF?!?!?

She is a lot more clingy, which I'm told is quite the 'norm' at this age and I try to manage this by distracting her as much as I can and not giving in and picking her up (although I do sometimes).

What are your experiences of behaviours at this age? How did you deal with the difficult times? And regarding the dummy, I previously thought when the time came to ditch the dummy we'd have no problem! Now I'm concerned she's already attached and now actually understands what a dummy can do!

[vichill]

I don't have any experience of dummies but when they're in a separation anxiety clingy phase, I read its best to indulge them and lavish with affection. I did this with my dd and it seemed to keep her happy and the phase passed quickly.

[firstposts]

I use a dummy when my 16 month DS is having a tantrum. It gives him comfort and distracts him. I have no issue with it, they are still so little.

[KatoPotato]

I used to say to DH it was like the equivalent of a smoker having a wee puff to calm them down. I think it can help calm their breathing down a bit! DS dropped his naturally at 2 with no fuss, so don't worry!

[Gerty1002]

No advice but I'm feeling your pain at the moment. My 14mo DS has always been very independent until very recently. Now I can't even nip to the loo without him breaking his heart! It's tough.

[corinnet58]

I gave my daughter a dummy because she would not sleep unless she was sucking on something. Didn't have the same problem with my older two, my reason for taking horrible plug away was Santa needed it for his baby reindeer!!!! She still got upset about pluggy til she was 5!

[corinnet58]

does anyone have a 14yr old daughter who dos not want her boobs and pubes? Tried telling her it's perfectly normal to be uncomfortable with your body whilst it is developing and now she is cutting her arms and I don't know what to do. Generally she's happy but I'm at witzend

[UriGeller]

Dd is 22 months and loves her dummy. If she's having a tantrum she will want it but I also make sure I give her lots of cuddles and soothing to accompany it. I think crying is hugely important to release cortisol and tantruming is rightful protest so I'd never give her the dummy to get her to stop.