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How to deal with a lost toy that was lost due to carelessness?

(4 Posts)
3catsnokids Mon 10-Nov-14 20:45:31

My 5 (nearly 6) year old foster child tonight was throwing a little toy figure around and it has become wedged behind a heavy cupboard. I can't move it but it is possible my husband might be able to when he gets in.

However, if the figure can't be retrieved I do have a spare one as when I saw how popular the first one was I bought a spare one just in case it was accidentally lost or broken. My fs found this spare toy the other day when he looked through my bag. I told him off for that and said it was only being kept as a spare.

As soon as the other one was lost he said 'we'll have to open the spare one now.' Bear in mind that the first one was only bought on Thursday so he hasn't had it very long. I said that as he'd thrown the toy around the room, despite being asked not to, I wasn't going to give him the spare one. I am constantly reminding him not to throw toys around.

The problem is, the figure was bought for him and his older brother to share. So now it's lost his brother obviously can't play with it either, and is understandably cross with his brother. My older fs has suggested that he could be given the spare toy and that his brother shouldn't be allowed to play with it. But I think that seems a bit cruel, plus a bit unrealistic to expect a 5 year old to remember never to touch a toy figure that he is very keen on.

I want the 5 year old to learn to look after toys and play with them properly, but at the same time I don't want to be too harsh!

What would you do?

GotToBeInItToWinIt Mon 10-Nov-14 20:51:49

Honestly, I think I'd just give them the toy. 5 is still pretty young and IMO it's unrealistic to expect them to never be careless with toys. Explain that there won't be any more.

Goldmandra Mon 10-Nov-14 20:57:56

I would give them the new toy with a reminder that you won't be buying any more spares. At the age of five, not having been able to play with the toy that got jammed for a little while should be enough of a natural consequence, although it will obviously not be the last time he throws toys around by any means.

homeaway Mon 10-Nov-14 20:58:38

All i can say is dd aged around 3-5 ish dropped her favourite book off a little bridge and into a stream. All we could do was watch it float away ! She had been told to be careful and not to drop it ,but hey ho. She was very upset and grandma managed to buy another copy for her. She still remembers it and she is 21 now. Good luck smile.

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