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problems with 4 year olds behavour

(3 Posts)
ghostspirit Mon 10-Nov-14 16:03:59

Hi i have a 4 year old daughter. and her behaviour seems to be a madness.all the time things are her way not one is bugging her or what ever she is fine. But if something dos not go her way no matter how tiny she looses it. example she was washing her finger (playing with the water in bathroom) my 7 year old needed the loo. so she starts screaming pulling his hair and trying to bite him. shes nasty to the kids next door as well. in their face calling them stupid. she will hit them as well. does same at home as well. she gets quite aggressive shouts and wants to fight over everything. she tells everyone including adults that they are idiots/stupid and will also swear. when she hits next doors children its not all the time but still once is to much. she's always hurting my 7 year old. but she does not do it to the older siblings. she just mouths them of.

I have tried the naughty step. i have tried making her stay in her room (without toys etc) shes now been in there for 30 mins. but as soon as she comes out of her room she wont care. she will get on with what shes doing . and we will have the same again either later or tomorrow.

I don't have any reports from school so im guessing all is ok at school.
So then i start to think is it more to do with my parenting? but then i think the other 3 children are nothing like her they would never dream of behaving how she does.

kellywood89 Tue 11-Nov-14 13:08:54

Hi I also have a 4 year old. He has always been such a well behaved child and everyone always commented on his brilliant behaviour but since starting school he has turned into a mini teenager. I'm just wondering if your daughters behaviour has always been on the naughty side or if you've noticed whether it's changed since starting school? My son has picked up so many bad things from school and when he comes home he's constantly reminding me he's around by doing thing he knows he shouldn't, I think he is just after a bit of attention after being abandoned at school all day. If her behaviour has started to escalate since being at school it might be worth having a chat with her teacher and finding out how she's getting on at school, Maybe speak to your daughter one on one and ask her if there's anything that's upsetting her and making her angry and I would report any spiteful behaviour or swear words to the teacher if your unsure where she may be picking it up from, I've had to do this as my son was using words and spitting which was completely new for him so I knew it had come from school, so the teacher had a group talk with the class about unacceptable behaviour. My son is a little angel at school, but soon changes when he leaves those gates, I find the more I keep him involved in everything I'm doing whether it's preparing dinner or fetching things to help change his sister it helps Control him, as soon as he's bored I usually find that's when he starts getting up to mischief and doing things he knows he shouldn't. I wouldn't beat your self up about it or wonder where your going wrong, I would just focus on trying to address her behaviour. If her behaviour has always been on the naughty side maybe you could speak to your health visitor or someone and find out what kind of help and support is available out there for you and your daughter. I hope things get easier for you soon :-)

ghostspirit Tue 11-Nov-14 16:08:09

to be honest shes always been quite naughty compared to the other 3 children. shes been at school since she was 3. so already been there a year. well when she was 3 it was nursery but when she went to reception it was just the class next door and with the children she knows. I asked her teacher today what shes like at school. she said shes fine, shes good. I think its normal for kids to play up after school. but its getting a bit much with her. anyway shes been good tonight i made her stay in her room yesterday for over 30mins. normally i make her stay in there for 10 mins. so maybe longer works better for her.

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