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3 month old won't go to anyone else

(10 Posts)
Suea76 Sun 09-Nov-14 18:21:21

Hi
I was just looking for some advise, my LB has become very clingy he used to be happy to be held by almost anyone but this last 2 weeks has cried hysterically when anyone other than myself or my partner holds him. I'm getting nagging from the family that I shouldn't keep taking him back when he cries or he will never learn to settle with someone else.
I just can't let him be so distressed and not take him and comfort him.
Do I leave him crying with others or take him and comfort him I don't know what to do any advice please xxx

Fattyfattyyumyum Sun 09-Nov-14 21:19:28

He's 3 months old, you're the only thing that's familiar to him in an increasingly scary world. Cuddle your baby. It's what he needs.

fflonkl Sun 09-Nov-14 21:46:08

Ignore your family. Your baby needs you, not them! 3 months is tiny, he's still only getting used to the world. Give him lots of cuddles, I loved it when DD fussed whilst being held by others at that age and then immediately quietened down when I took her!

Suea76 Sun 30-Nov-14 18:29:08

Thanks for the advice, but could anybody advise on what is best to do?? Do I let other people hold him until he cries it is only a few seconds before he starts or do I just not let anyone else hold him?? I do give him loads of cuddles and attention I just want to help him feel confident with others.
Thanks for any advice offered x

Littlef00t Tue 02-Dec-14 18:19:50

I'd carefully practice being held by others to try and make it acceptable.

Only hand over when happy and not tired/hungry etc. Chat and engage while other person holding (or completely get out of sight is sometimes better!) and try and take back before upset so not seen as a bad experience.

Chances are it's just a phase so if this doesn't work, just don't pass around and try again in a few days/weeks.

Goldmandra Tue 02-Dec-14 19:40:01

Leaving him with other people when he's upset will only teach him that being held by others is distressing.

He will mature and begin to enjoy going to other people when he is ready. In the meantime ignore the pressure and keep giving him lots of cuddles and reassurance smile

Suea76 Wed 03-Dec-14 10:08:52

Thanks for the reply it's been almost a month now and it's as bad as it was. I'm really hoping it passes soon xx

Goldmandra Wed 03-Dec-14 10:21:46

This is one of those times when can make things worse but there's very little you can do to make it better. You just need to wait for him to begin to feel more comfortable around others.

Even if it improves, it's likely to go downhill again in the second half of his first year when he realises that you go away from him and separation anxiety kicks in.

Ride it out and enjoy all those cuddles. You'll miss them later on smile

Purplelooby Wed 03-Dec-14 14:45:47

I'm afraid my daughter has been like this since 8 weeks and is no better at 8 months, so you might be in for the long haul, but I would say don't pass him to anyone else unless they need to be able to hold him, as it will just cause him distress. By that I mean they might be looking after him. With my LG, I first got her used to her Dad, then to my Mum and the childminder as they will be having her when I go back to work in a month. She still won't go to any of them if I'm there, but at least she now settles with them if I'm not. We did it in little gradual stages and plenty of non-contact exposure to that person. As a small glimmer of hope, she doesn't cry when people talk to her now which is good!

Sorry sad

Suea76 Fri 05-Dec-14 15:25:10

Thanks ladies, it's just so hard people want to hold and play with him but he's hysterical!! He is such a happy smiley boy giggles all the time but seems terrified if anyone else has hold of him.

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