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Twin sleeping issues

(10 Posts)
hayesgirl Sun 09-Nov-14 04:10:36

I just can't cope anymore! My twins are 5 months (almost 6). One has suddenly started needing a bottle at 3-4 am or he screams the place down, the other either spends all night spitting her dummy out and then crying for it or wakes at 4am chirping and singing like it's time to get up. Some nights I will only have issues with one, nights like tonight they are both at it!

Most nights out of sheer desperation they end up in my bed!

My husband works nights quite a bit so I have this on my own. Most nights I am ok... Tonight has reduced me to tears! I just don't know what to do. I also have a 3 yr old who sleeps in the same room as the twins. He doesn't get woken up most of the time but i don't let them "cry it out" through fear of waking him (plus not keen in the crying it out thing anyway).

holeinmyheart Sun 09-Nov-14 10:30:29

Oh you poor thing ! You are going through one of the hardest times of your life and I feel really sorry for you. First of all none of your DC are doing anything to you deliberately or plotting about how to keep their DMV awake all night. So please try not to feel resentful.
So what to do? First of all you need the people from Homestart. I don't know where you live so I can't give you the number. They are people who have volunteered to help families with children under 5 years old. They will come and wash up or look after your children while you nap etc and generally act like a Grandparent.
Then you need to try and relax and stop fighting against what is happening to you. Sleep when you can and try not to get your head down with the thought in your mind, ' well whats the point as I am going to be woken up in a minute. '
Then you need to be very organised. Before you go to bed lay out everything you need so that it only seconds before you can lay your hands on the stuff you need to stop the babies mouths from yelling. Perhaps the 3 year old is feeling insecure and a bit neglected as the twins have arrived on the scene. Perhaps Homestart could give you a bit of one to one time with him.

Just to reassure you that tou will get through this and of course it will not last for ever.
However if you are at the end of your tether and feel frightened by whatever feelings you are feeling then you need to consider that you have got PND. This is really a serious illness and you need to go to your GP. And tell him how you feel AT ONCE? You can't get better without help and the quicker you get help the better.
Have you got a Mum or a MIL who can help? I lived with one of my DDs when she had PND and her DD was 5 mths old.
Best of luck and take care of yourself as your babies are depending upon you. Xxx

thingamajig Sun 09-Nov-14 11:37:36

I feel for you, I have no magic wand, but it will get better; they may sleep for longer once you start getting solids into them. Are they in the same cot - that seemed to work (a bit) for mine. Don't worry about them coming into your bed, it isn't forever.
Look at how long they are napping in the day. Suddenly needing a bottle at 3am may be due to a growth spurt - were they born early/small?
I hope things improve for you - they will.

jsp56 Sun 09-Nov-14 12:36:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hayesgirl Sun 09-Nov-14 15:32:51

Thank you - I wrote the post at about 4am when I had been reduced to tears by tiredness! First time that has happened so far so maybe I've not had it so bad!

Big problem for me was that I felt (or should I say, feel) like I have no clue what to do. I learnt a lot from my first baby and until now had been fortunate enough not to get to a situation I didn't know how to deal with.

Thinking about it in the light of day I have realised that the problem with my girl (the worst for continuous waking at night) is her reliance on a dummy which she isn't old enough to put in herself yet. As she falls asleep it falls out of her mouth, she realises and screams until I put it back. I have therefore decided to wean her off it and replace it with a comforter which she can easily pick up. Any tips anyone has on this would be appreciated. To start with I am reducing how often she has it and offering the comforter instead. Hoping that I can start trying naps without the dummy soon and then progress to night time without it. We'll see!

My boy I think is going through a growth spurt... Apart from this waking he is actually very good.

Their naps have been good. 3 regular naps a day and they settle in their cot at night really easily. I dream feed at 10ish which they take well. They just have a knack of making me completely doubt myself!

jsp56 Sun 09-Nov-14 16:16:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belini Sun 09-Nov-14 16:34:54

I have been exactly where you are op I have b/g twins plus older children. The sleep deprivation is Horrendous. The only thing that worked for me was co-sleeping. It's not ideal if you have a partner but it was the only thing that got me through. My twins are almost 3 now & go to their own beds at 7 pm and sleep through till 7:30. There were always peaks and troughs with them and the nights both of them were unsettled were unspeakably hard but . It does get better though. wink

hayesgirl Sun 09-Nov-14 21:57:03

Thanks Belini - glad to know that there is a silver lining! Hubby is home tonight so at least I'm not on my own if they kick off again! Typically though they have been good as gold so far! smile

DomesticGoddess31 Mon 10-Nov-14 20:43:28

How about trying dropping the dream feed? My DS was really unsettled at night till about that age and then I went cold turkey on his 10pm feed and his sleep improved dramatically.

SugarPlumpFairy3 Mon 10-Nov-14 21:33:41

I honestly feel your pain. My twins are 2 now and sleepness nights are mostly a dim and distant memory. I certainly remember the middle of the night exhaustion though!

I too would suggest dropping the dream feed. I clung to ours like a comfort blanket, terrified they'd be awake all night hungry. Honestly, the very night we stopped it was the night they slept through (they were 5 months). I was gobsmacked!

But I'd tackle one problem at a time. So either try that or the dummy issue first, then go from there.

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