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Help with almost 16mth old

(2 Posts)
ButtonAndSqueak Mon 03-Nov-14 18:33:13

Hello and help!
I am hoping someone can offer words of wisdom because I am at the end of my tether with my youngest!

I have two DS - DS1 is 36mths, an absolute angel - calm, poised, considered, etc etc and DS2 who is almost 16mths. He is so smily and wonderfully spirited - he makes everybody smile and for this I adore him but is also what one would describe as challenging.

Brief background - he was crawling at 4m, cruising at 6m, walking at 9m, running at 10m and climbing everything in sight at 11m.
He was a difficult and screechy baby with reflux, multiple food allergies and slept badly!
Now it is something else!
He is loving and means well but is a nightmare. It is like having a wild animal in the house. He shouts and screams all day - not all through displeasure - just all communication is delivered this way. He has a vile temper and throws everything with brut force. He damages everything. He rips up books, breaks toys, rakes the whole house out, hurls his food and drinks everywhere and hits and bites us all. His brother included. In fact, especially his brother. I know he doesn't mean it as he kisses us afterwards but it is terribly hard to live with.
I am increasingly becoming a shouty (sometimes screaming) mummy - something I wasn't particularly before and I am distraught that I can't handle him better. I don't want to be this person and thought I would be a better mummy than this. My eldest is a dream child and I don't know how two children from the same parents can be so different! I am a stay at home mum and DS2 has recently started nursery a couple of mornings so I can spend quality one on one time with DS1 hoping this will help!
Please do not read this as I love DS1 more - I don't. He has his own negatives, like we all do. And DS2 is amazing in total opposite ways - he is so fun and full of life he makes you glad to be alive!
I just want to do the best job I can do and would love any advice other than it's just a phase and will get easier!! I know that deep down, it's just how best to get through the phase??

If you made it through my waffle awake well done and thank you!

Thank you in advance for any help x

mrsmalcolmreynolds Mon 03-Nov-14 19:44:20

Hi. I think I would try to control the environment a bit more if possible so that there is less that he can get at to damage and you don't have to be constantly saying "no". Not easy I know (I have a 17m DS whi has just learned to climb on the dining table grin but maybe box at least some stuff up and stick it in the loft temporarily, get some more cabinet locks for the kitchen etc. It's a tricky balance though as we need them to understand boundaries, but if they never have free rein they get hugely frustrated.

I personally would also have a consequence for hitting - with DS the first time he lashes out we say "gentle" then if he does it again "no" and a third time he gets put down. We're always right there though, ready to have a cuddle, so he isn't being punished by being removed from us - it's more that he can't be allowed to learn that he can lash out with impunity. I'm yet to really learn whether it works though - he's still pretty small and although we have DD who is 5 she was never so physical.

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