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Nearly 4 yr old ds weeing and pooing in pants. Help

(8 Posts)
NellysKnickers Mon 03-Nov-14 11:15:13

Ds2 has been potty trained since April. Rarely had an accident until returning to preschool in September. It's got worse over half term and the last 4 days he has pooed in pants aswell as weeing. He just says sorry mummy it was an accident. It's really getting me down. I honestly don't think it's medical or emotional just that he's busy and doesn't want to stop what he's doing to go to the toilet. I shouted this morning blush I'm having to shower him each time as it's caked on and he's getting sore. We've got a sticker chart on the go and yesterday had a big cuddle and chat to try and talk about it, he just sang "Let it go"! Any advice would be very much appreciated

NellysKnickers Mon 03-Nov-14 12:49:00

Bump. Anyone? <desperate>

holeinmyheart Mon 03-Nov-14 12:55:20

Aw he is only four. Please don't shout at him as I don't think it will do any good and will in fact make it worse. Are you sure he hasn't got a bug of any kind?
Otherwise just accept that it is what happens and it will only be a short time before he gets dry again.
Which is worse? The washing machine being on and doing a few more washes or making a small child anxious and miserable about something he has difficulty controlling. If you accidentally wet your pants would you like someone shouting at you ?
Honestly life goes so fast in a couple of years you won't remember this bit. He will remember you being unkind to him though. Please be patient.

NellysKnickers Mon 03-Nov-14 13:20:01


soupmaker Mon 03-Nov-14 18:36:06

Is there any chance he might be constipated? This can cause poo and wee accidents and is best caught early as if it becomes chronic it can takes years to treat.

Chapeausalesman Wed 12-Nov-14 17:01:19

I sympathise, it's very hard not to get cross about it, I think particularly because he had been ok before. It can be very frustrating. It may be that at preschool they have more clearly defined opportunities for going to the toilet (as well as whenever they want to obviously!) so maybe he has just got used to fairly frequent reminders eg when they are getting ready for snack, going outside etc. Is he having accidents at pre school or just at home? You could try to give similar opportunities at home for a bit to see if that helps .Try to remind yourself that it will pass, he got the hang of it before and will again. I teach in Reception and Nursery and trust me there's a lot of pooing and weeing from children who are just too busy to stop. They get there in the end.

Spanna123 Fri 14-Nov-14 10:42:01

Just spotted this thread. Please don't feel bad about shouting at ds. I have a nearly 5 year old ds who has been doing this off and on since he turned 2 (he mastered toileting very quickly and went for months managing both poos and wees very well) and I have lost patience many times. However hard I try to stay calm and happy about the situation sometimes I just can't help feeling he's doing it on purpose (which I am sure is ridiculous)
! He only tends to do it at home and will sometimes go weeks with no problems and other times have 2 or 3 accidents in one day (mainly poo) for days/weeks on end. He has been to the doctors and been put on gentle laxatives but has not helped. I don't know the answer I'm afraid but would like you to know that there is someone else out there going through the same thing!

cameorole Fri 14-Nov-14 11:43:17

In a similar situation here too. Almost 4.5 and at school. They had to throw away his trousers once. It has been driving me insane, as it has been going on since we moved to a different town just over a year ago. I know it's probably related to anxiety etc. but can't help feeling annoyed because it had been going so smoothly for a whole year before that. Don't feel bad about shouting. We all do it, if not for this, then something else (I'm sure even those who go on about how precious these years are -- yes of course they're precious but they're still bloody difficult, stop making us feel even more guilty!). We had a reward system which worked very well for a bit, but then we felt we were racking up reward after reward for something which should just be part of ordinary life iyswim. I was stressing out so much about school that I decided to withdraw the privilege of playing on the iphone for half an hour a day until he could show me that he could go to the loo like a four-year-old should. It works, but I'm really worried about the long-term effect of this system, especially on those (few) days when he doesn't earn his privilege and I have to withdraw it -- it breaks my heart to tell him he hasn't won it that day, and it feels like punishment, but I just don't know what else to do! Anyway, even though it's really hard, I do agree it's best to put on the sunniest face and not look even the tiniest bit put out. SO HARD!

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