How do toddlers manage to make me want a wine at night (or whine!)

[larlylou]

I have a 3.5 yr old ds and a 1.2 dd. My ds's behaviour has changed so radically and I am stumped as to why!!! He is a typical active, boystrous boy yet has a very calming side to him too. He is very sweet, polite and kind but lately it seems a demon has planted himself in him and he is being rude, has started wetting himeself practically daily (was potty trained last year and has been A.O.K for ages and ages) says 'No', 'I not like you' 'I don't care' constantly, gets really cross with things and shouts and stomps and he demands which I hate (naturally I ignore these demands until he remembers his pleases and thank yous)!! I try my absolute hardest to either ignore or try and deal with in an appropriate manner. If my input is required, he usually gets one warning then he goes to time out which he hates especially if he can see me playing with his sister. He is also being quite vicious towards his sister .... come 5pm I am ready for a glass or 8 of wine! I know the 2's are trying but gee, the 3's are making me age prematurely! I am appalled by the way in which he has changed so suddenly and find him a total handful. I actually feel a little out of control with him and am feeling like one of the Mum's on Supernanny...where is she when you need her! I am hoping that this is a phase, as most things, and light is at the end of the tunnel but any advice would be really great and to know that I'm not the only one with a little devil for a son! It certainly is a trying time and one that I'm not enjoying at the moment as much as I should be...oooh...he shouts....better go check he isn't pouring half the bath water out on the floor...

[GeorginaA]

Ah - that would be the start of the threenager. I definitely found it far worse than the so called "terrible" twos. I'd love to say it gets easier, but there's the f*ing fours to come when they REALLY learn the art of backchat

On the plus side, as they get more verbal then you also get some brilliant conversations with them too and in terms of physical care they start to need a lot less. It's just a lot of hard work mentally (highlighted, no doubt, by your younger child who is in a far "easier" stage - i.e. one you already have learnt how to deal with )

Enjoy your wine (mine's Pinot Grigio tonight...)

[GoingQuietlyMad]

yes. this all sounds very familiar. threenager, glass of wine in the evening. it is refreshing to find that I am not the only one. what i don't understand is where the lovely baby days have gone. One minute you have the cutest little loving dd in the world and then you have a moody sulky brat who scowls at everyone.

i started to worry that it was childhood depression but tried a sticker chart with smiley or sad faces depending on how she was behaving. This mainly focused on meal times as eating is a problem (obviously). i am almost disappointed that it was so easy to predict, and whenever the smiley or sad faces are mentioned, behaviour improves no end.

why haven't i dropped the glass of wine though if it is so much better???

[GooseyLoosey]

Absolutely agree that 3 is harder than 2. My 3.4 year old ds's favourite past time is to think of the naughtiest thing in his considerable repertoire, get his 2 year old sister to do it and then gleefully come to me with tales of what she has done and sit back and watch the havoc he has created. This is of course only when he is not trying to do something to her that the inquisition would probably have balked at.

I have been that mother in the supermarket who everyone looks at and thinks can't she keep her kids under control.

[Sophiev73]

With my ds1 just 2.2 and driving me up the wall already I'm horrified at the idea of him getting worse. Not possible!!

LOL 'threenager' though. Oh bugger even the idea is making me want wine...

[Vindaloo]

Oh God!! it cant get any worse can it?? my DD 2.6 yrs and the thought of the future is making me hit the bottle, quite literally....

[BernieBear]

No No NOOOOOO, you mean there's more.....and it get's worse. My ds is 2.6 and I am hanging on by a thread. May have to swap a glass of wine for a gin and tonic.....Oh doom, doom doom.

[GeorginaA]

Okay, it doesn't really get worse ... it just gets different. And you have to learn different strategies for behaviour management as it's far more psychological than physical unlike before. It's a steeper learning curve.

But I do think it's more fun as well - more rewarding than the non-stop physical care. You have to worry more about what they're thinking and feeling - but conversations are so much better. And so many fun activities to do - board games, going out for longer walks and bike rides, them actually being interested in various forms of sight seeing.

Just be prepared for the "I hate you" and "I'm not your friend anymore" and the "I don't love you, Mummy" and the "no, I don't want to, you can't make me"....

[larlylou]

It's great today...no I not like you's! Wine is out...cheap bottle tonight and both in bed asleep. I'm even contemplating adding some chocolate to nibble on with my wine for an extra 'been good' day treat! I agree Georgina, the chats are fun...I love having little conversations with him and you can hear them when they are thinking faster than they can talk and and and and eventually they get there! In fact, I think if I just had one or the other then life would be easy, its the mixing of two children that make it harder (and the house, work, husband..in no particular order of course!). There are definitely good and bad days and when its a bad day it is hard work but a good day makes it all the more rewarding and helps you forget the bad. I love the 'threenager' description...so true! Happy guzzling!