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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Do all 5-year-old boys play with 'guns'!?

67 replies

souvenir · 29/09/2006 21:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

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crazydazy · 29/09/2006 21:04

DS is really into Power Rangers and all they ever do is fight and shoot one another so not surprising really.

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NotABraBurningOtter · 29/09/2006 21:11

gosh no - i have four boys and would not dream of having them play with guns...nor would they want to

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MegaLegs · 29/09/2006 21:12

My older three (7,5 and 3) have the odd game of Power Rangers but usually when they have a particular friend to play. They tend to do the more traditional stuff like den building, tree climbing, bikes, kites. They have a cool tree house and a secret club. They do have action men but their games never seem to be violent. They try and do karate on each other sometimes but I never see them pretending to have guns.

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chipkid · 29/09/2006 21:12

yep-IME (and I own one of these 5 year old boys myself) boys of this age like to murder each other with whatever weapon comes to mind. Have always discouraged ds from violence (no power rangers in this house) but it seems to innate to the species!

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BudaBabe · 29/09/2006 21:14

It is def a boy thing. A friend of mine was adamant that her son would never play with guns/have a toy gun. He ended up using anyting he could find aroudn the house as a pretend weapon! And his grandfather was a conscientious objector in WW2!!!

My DS is 5 and constantly either playing football/power rangers/superheroes/star wars/lazytown. They all do it. The all grow out of it (most of them anyway!).

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MadamePlatypus · 29/09/2006 21:16

Don't know about 5 year olds, but DS (almost 3) has taken to holding the detachable ladder from his toy fire engine in a threatening gun like manner. I am not very keen on this, but have not made a big thing about it as I think if I make an issue out of it it will either confuse or encourage him.

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NotABraBurningOtter · 29/09/2006 21:17

budababe - i dont think 'they all do it'

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mummydear · 29/09/2006 21:17

Hate to see children playing with guns. My two have never had them. They have swords etc, but they will always find something that they turn into a 'gun'.

I'm afraid that they pick it up not only from TV but playgrounds which we cannot monitor.

I shudder when I see kids playing with guns, unfortunately I have seen the consequences of someone brandishing a 'toy' gun and it was not pleasant.

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SoMuchToBits · 29/09/2006 21:19

No. My ds is 5 and has never asked for guns or really imitated them. He had a friend round today, who is really into power rangers etc. and tried to "shoot" ds, who thought it was hilarious. But he isn't into power rangers, action men, guns etc. himself, and can't reallysee the point of them. He'd rather play with trains, fire engines etc.

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southeastastra · 29/09/2006 21:22

they all do it, and if they don't now they'll do it later on

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mamama · 29/09/2006 21:24

Personally, I hate seeing kids playing such violent games, especially when they 'shoot' at others not involved in the game - to me that is threatening and just mean.

There was some research done on this that led to the book & documentary, Raising Cain. The upshot of it was that, psychologically, it is important for boys to be able to play such games in a safe environment - i.e. under supervision. When they are not allowed this, they have to find other ways to learn about violence & their own roles in society etc and this can lead to teenage fights, gangs & violent adults.

This is not my opinion, just what the researchers found but it was interesting to see.

I know some kids are just not interested in guns etc. I just hope my little'un is like that!

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chipkid · 29/09/2006 21:25

agree with SEAstra

My friend was really disapproving of my ds's tendency to pretend everything was a weapon of some sort....now her sensitive ds has just started down that road too!

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BudaBabe · 29/09/2006 21:33

OK NotaBraBurningOtter - not "all" but most. If they don't come across it at home (whihc mine didn't - he is an only child and I limited his TV viewing to NickJr till recently), they pick it up from other boys.

They have no idea what it actually means really. It is just a way of playing and letting off energy. Not pleasant for us grown-ups who know the realities but hopefully for most of them it will stay an imaginary game.

Even as a girl I remember playing cowboys and indians and it hasn't made me think that guns/bows&arrows are OK!

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CalifornifamousFanjo · 29/09/2006 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brimfull · 29/09/2006 21:38

Ime all boys do gun fighting at some stage,it's normal for them.They won't turn out to be agressive gangsters.It's on a par with girls playing with dolls.

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iota · 29/09/2006 21:39

ds1 has never been interested in guns - he's 7, ds2 however loves weapons of any sort - he's 5

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mamama · 29/09/2006 21:43

ggirl, that was what the research I mentioned was saying - playing with guns etc is part of growing up, releasing energy & figuring things out. It's ok for them to do it if they feel the need!

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curlew · 29/09/2006 21:44

I try to keep a pacifist home - I was adamant that we would have no fighting, shooting, killing etc etc etc. Worked fine when I only had a girl. Now I have a 5 year old boy, who is a gentle caring soul (as far as a 5 yera old can be) But he makes guns, draws guns, he wrestles, he boxes, a stick is at once a sword....... I gently comment, but I am also very concious that he is a boy and I don't want to criticise his essential boyishness. Not saying that to be a boy you also have to be violent, but I do think that boys need outlets for their testosterone! And a lot of the behaviour which gets positive reinforcement at school are the traditionally girly virtues of quietness, neatness, tidyness...But perhaps that is for another thread.
I did once see a small boy machine-gunning his friends with a hobby horse!

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mummydear · 29/09/2006 21:48

Toys guns - just about cope with them if they were bright pink or green but many of them are so life like !

I have an issue with what toy guns look like not necessarily with boys pretending to have guns etc

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TinyGang · 29/09/2006 21:50

My ds (5)is the gentlest little boy. But even he has started playing pretend gun games.

He must get it from socialising with other boys because he has no toy guns and I monitor what's on tv. Mind you, I say I monitor things but the awareness of guns filters through somehow He knows all about power rangers by osmosis I think, just the way little girls often gravitate to Barbie without being pointed in that direction.

My mum wanted to give him a toy gun - he really wanted it too. I've asked her to hold off with it for now. Boys don't know what we know about guns; theyjust see them as toys. I guess they always have and always will

Inevitably he'll play gun games more from now on - I know that - even though I do not condone it.

I know it seems awful to us but we have to be realistic and understand that not every boy (or girl) playing guns will grow up wanting a real one.

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chipmonkey · 29/09/2006 22:03

My sons would never play with guns.
They favour the infinitely technogically and aesthetically superior lightsabres!

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mummydear · 29/09/2006 22:05

Thinking about it when boys play with guns they just point and shoot , when they play with swords, lightsabres they end up wacking each other and actually get hurt !!

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kittywits · 29/09/2006 22:22

My boys have always made guns out of any objects they can, other weapons too.

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SuziQAQT · 29/09/2006 22:27

Oh dear this conversation makes me feel a bit bad because I always said before I had children that I would never allow them to have guns, but having two boys (4 & 6) who make guns out of stickle bricks, lego and cardboard, I actually dont mind and go around shooting them with my fingers! Isn't it just a game, roleplay and all that. Didn't Tom and Jerry do worse things in their day. Shouldn't we encourage good guys verses bad guys otherwise we'll confuse them when we say "Dont talk to strangers because ..."

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rosysslave · 29/09/2006 23:41

My ds, who is 9, is obsessed by guns and war and weaponry of any and all description, his teacher, (reasonably newly qualified)actually asked to speak to me recently because she was concerned that some of his writing showed an alarming trait, I had just figured that this was a boy thing (not all boys but alot of boys) and that they don't all grow up to be sabre wielding maniacs and that I would gently try to discourage and ignore it (I did not want to make a big thing out of it in case it made the idea seem more exciting in some weird way) in the hope that he would grow out of it. She alarmed me so much that I went to talk to my headmistress, she has 4 boys and said that at 1 point she could have tooled up an army, and hers have all turned out fine and not in prison for gbh. My brother was also obsessed with guns at the same age and he is a totally gentle absolute pacifist! My son cuts pictures out of magazines make guns out of duplo, draw swords onto cardboard and cuts them out, he is totally obsessed. He is also one of the most dearest, caring, affectionate and deeply feeling little boys, crying and praying(!) for about 1/2hr after the hampster's unfortunate accident (he lived though!) So I am assuming it will pass over (soon I hope).