Toddler books about death - non religious

[notadoctor]

My DD (2.8yo) is a bit obsessed with death at the moment. She doesn't seem upset but is very preoccupied with it and I'm wondering if a story book might be good for her... We're an atheist / humanist ish family so I'm looking for something non religious. Any suggestions?

[plannedshock]

Oh god the miffy book called miffys grandma or something like that.

[Shallishanti]

the one with the badger??
actually 2.8- a bit young for most books I know of
I think there's a Mog one

[ErrolTheDragon]

When my DD was about that age, we came across a story called [[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Badgers-Parting-Gifts-Susan-Varley/dp/1849395144?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 Badgers Parting Gifts - when an elderly uncle died she asked for this one several times. (I see on that amazon page there are some 'also bought' books which looks like they might be worth looking at the reviews).

Children of this age can have a rather practical approach to death, it's not a taboo. Its the age where something like a goldfish dying leads to a nice little burial and explanation of how some of its atoms will turn into a honeysuckle flower next year, rather than upset.

[notadoctor]

Yes Errol she is very practical about it, the other day she said: "when I'm a big girl my teeth will fall out and the tooth fairy will come and you and Daddy will die and I'll be able to go to the pub on my own"!

Thanks v much for the suggestions. Will investigate.

[marshmallowSqueeze]

Yes to the badger book (ds had this age 3 ish) he helped him when a family member died also there is a small book about fireflies I'll see if I can find the name

[LairyPoppins]

Lifetimes is good

[Awakeagain]

The badger book is amazing (can se its been suggested already) maybe amazon would have 'other people who viewed this also viewed' suggestions

[munchkinmaster]

I don't think you need a book , they are good in bereavement but here it's just a child developing their knowledge of the world. Just listen and answer honestly/age approximately. That might well be enough without a book.

A preschooler only has a very limited understanding of death (ie will not realise is final, irreversible or universal).

Do his questions freak you out or leave you stuck for words - maybe your reaction which is interesting?

[Shallishanti]

I'm inclined to agree with munchkinmaster- if she isn't bereaved, she is trying to make sense of the concept. Agree that the Lifetimes book is good esp for humanists/atheists. Maybe take the chance to explore the concept when opportunities arise. Their questions can be quite challenging, which I think is interesting- makes you really think. If there is no bereavement on the horizon (so to speak) maybe adopt the approach I used to use with sex- answer all questions as and when they arise without reading into them more than is really being asked.

[Icedfinger]

Tadpoles Promise is good for understanding death as part of life and life cycles. Bit sad as an adult!

[notadoctor]

Thanks all! It's not so much that I'm worried - we've talked quite frankly about death and I've enjoyed her philosophical take on death! She is a big book lover though and so we always try and get story books to match her current interests/ obsessions and the only ones in the library were either about heaven or very specific bereavements. These suggestions look great. I have ordered Badgers Parting Gifts and am looking forward to reading it!

[abigboydidit]

No matter what by Debbi Gliori. Beautiful book about how life lives on after death (but not in a heaven kinda way)

[Siennasun]

I was going to say 'No Matter What' too. It's great

[sh77]

Heart in a Bottle by Oliver Jeffers.

[Fixitagaintomorrow]

I think mufasa explains it quite well to simba in the lion king. I can't remember the exact wording but something along the lines of the lions eat the antelope but when the lions die they become part of the ground and the grass that the antelope eat, all part of the circle of life. Dd had become quite upset when she learned animals eat other animals so we watched it and discussed (as much as you can discuss such a thing with a 2 year old) and she seemed to understand and accept it.

[Fixitagaintomorrow]

Obviously doesn't apply to humans but maybe you could use the circle of life thing a bit.

[Shallishanti]

doesn't it apply to humans?

[ErrolTheDragon]

Sure it can apply to humans - children usually enjoy a rousing rendition of Ilkley Moor Baht 'at!

[neolara]

I think Frog and the birdsong is very good for your dd's age range. All the Frog books are wonderful IMO and deal with a range of emotions. You can buy a set of 12 at the Book People for only £10 at the moment, here. No matter what is lovely, but doesn't really explain what death is. It will, however, reduce you to a weeping mess as you read it to your dd. Badger's parting gift is very good, but suitable for older children I would say (3 1/2 at the very earliest). When Dinosaurs Die is factual and gives good explanation of what death is but again I would say this is probably better for a slightly older child. My 4 year old wanted to read it a lot and I think it is excellent for her age and slightly older.

My friend's dh died when her dd was only 2 so I read a lot of the kids books about death as I wanted to find her some suitable books. A friend of my ds's lost his fight against cancer recently at the grand old age of 7, so unfortunately I've had to revisit the subject again.

[notadoctor]

Thanks for all the tips - the Frog books look great and I didn't realise the Book People had a website (only ever bought from them in the staffroom before) so that discovery is a real bonus!