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Is this normal? 17 month old behaviour.

(30 Posts)
igglepigglesbitch Tue 22-Jul-14 08:33:26

Just wanted to check this is normal as I have no way of knowing - never had brothers or sisters and this is my first child - never been around children till now.

My son is 17 months old and over the last couple of weeks I have really seen a change in him.

1/ The volume of him - he charges around the house yelling and shouting so so loudly that Im worried our neighbours will leave. I do whatever I can to try and quieten him down but he won't listen to me. As I understand that he doesn't understand why he should be quiet. But it's loud enough to be heard a street away. Screaming, yelling, shouting. Is this normal or am I a terrible parent (as I am sure my neighbours think). As soon as he wakes up he stands in his cot just shouting BLAAAAA BLAAAAA BLAAAAA.

2/ His activity - he doesn't sit still for a second ALL day (unless he is sleeping). To the point that i seriously worry about him because he is sweating and gets himself so hot he is dripping with sweat. He won't sit on my lap to hear a story. He won't sit on the sofa with me to watch In the Night Garden. He just wants to do what looks like an aggressive boot camp session around the house. He can climb on and off the sofa literally 45 times in the course of say 10 minutes. And yesterday - after doing this - he seemed to be getting angrier and angrier rather than excited - and started throwing his teddies off the sofa with sort of Exorcist anger.

I just wanted to know if this is your experience? Or not?
He doesn't eat any sugar really - except maybe a pink wafer occasionally.
And I take him out for a run about as often as I can.

Please be nice because i'm utterly worn out.

notaflamingclue Tue 22-Jul-14 11:23:56

Gosh, you have my sympathies, he sounds like a bit of a handful.

My DD is nearly 17mo and to be honest, your experience is not the same as mine. Oh, she can be trouble all right, lots of the time - and she has a set of lungs on her that Brian Blessed would be proud of.

However the running about thing does sound to me like it's a bit excessive. Others with more knowledge / experience may be along soon to tell you that it's not so unusual, but in answer to your question - no, this is not my experience of a 17mo. But like you - this is my first child, so in no way could you call me an expert.

Are you a SAHM? Does he go to nursery? Just wondering, if he does, what they say about him.

lovesmycake Tue 22-Jul-14 11:40:14

Hello, My DS was/ is like this smile. Everyone commented on how he never kept still. In the last month he has calmed down a bit (he is 22mo) will now do a jigsaw or watch a program on TV, but still to the outside world he is a whirlwind. I certainly don't think its bad health wise we constantly ply DS with water but if he's happy to work up a sweat why not?

I see it as him just being so excited and full of the possibilities of what he can now do eg: climbing, running, jumping ......shouting, then because they have no control over their emotions all that excitement sometimes spills out into anger/ crying.

FWIW we are very firm with our parenting clear boundaries etc I think because of his exuberance wink it was the only way we were all going to stay sane. Also maybe embrace it a little - DS is so fit because he is always exercising I love seeing all his little muscles and he is quite ahead physically (balancing/ jumping) because he practises so much plus I like to imagine he will always meet life full throttle - it helps me get through the days when I just want him to sit 'down for 5 bloody minutes!!!!'

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 22-Jul-14 11:56:39

All children his age go through this. Toddlers are action driven so they explore and hurtle about leaving us to trail in their wake. Or we keep them amused while juggling everyday chores.

Are you able to take him out to burn off some of that energy? He will revel in exercise. Bring a soft ball he can try and kick start n the park. Or try mother + infant swimming? Like a puppy he won't sit quietly if he's too wired to be still. If you're not pushed for time let him walk with you to the post office or shops or wherever.

Indoors you can let him "help" strip beds or vacuum. You might spread out cushions or get a big cardboard box so he can play obstacle courses. Get him dancing to rhymes or music. Short burst of action then something else to keep him entertained.

He doesn't have the vocabulary to express himself so everything's at top volume. So when he starts to flip out kneel down and look at him at eye level then tell him "Sssh (use his name) Mummy can hear you! Indoor voice! " If he's still intent on roaring then try re-directing him to another activity or offer a different toy. It will be a tough habit to break but you have to teach him that noise alone isn't communicating. Unless he uses words, he will not get what he needs. So practise words when he's not yelling. And when he finally calms down give him positive attention and praise.

If he ever lashes out or hits you then hold his hands or arms for a second and say "We don't hit" very firmly. Always kiss and hug for positive behaviour.

And for peace of mind, no pun intended, you could get his hearing checked.

donkir Tue 22-Jul-14 12:07:12

I know exactly how your feeling I look after a 20 month old boy and he is so loud and active unlike his 4yr old brother. Everything is 100 miles an hour. We're out everyday if possible. We also have the tantrums too and hitting if he's not getting his own way.

TheGrinchWearsStripes Tue 22-Jul-14 12:20:22

Yep, we had this at that age too. I think DS had the energy and curiosity, but not the self control to know how to limit it. He is still pretty full on at 2, but as a pp said with hers, is much more likely to sit and read a book with me, or play tea parties with his soft toys (his favourite game). He will still climb over something rather than go round it though!

igglepigglesbitch Tue 22-Jul-14 13:49:48

Thanks so much everyone. Have read all these replies to my other half and he feels happier too. He's home today and realising what I've been talking about. Yes I'm a SAHM. He went to nursery for a short spell when he was say 8 months to 1 year but I found it too hard so now I'm home. My partner said it's like having a new puppy. I'm currently looking at him - he is drenched in sweat.

I do feel better knowing I'm not the only one.

BotBotticelli Tue 22-Jul-14 15:20:08

Yes. Another one here with a totally mental (!) 19mo. My DS never sits still. He is a total handful in a good way (and a bad way cos it is exhausting!).

You're not the only one. I just like to think of him as exuberant too :-)

kkllww Tue 22-Jul-14 16:19:50

I can relate to this - my ds is nearly 2 and non-stop like the duracell bunny. He's better at sitting reading a book now but at 17 months he just used to charge around at a million miles an hour. If you can find ways to channel his energy it will help, maybe an organised local activity? I've just enrolled ds at toddler rugby (not really rugby but he has to play nicely with other kids and gets to blow off steam). He comes back exhausted (yay!) There are several littler ones there too...

igglepigglesbitch Tue 22-Jul-14 17:12:04

Ooh! That sounds fab. I'm desperate to get him into some sort of groups or play things - but I looked on Netmums ssshhhh and they all say open during term times?!

RiverTam Tue 22-Jul-14 17:18:44

a lot are only term times which is annoying but there can be ones open more often, and swimming/soft play should be all-year round.

He certainly sounds very lively! Sounds not unusual, but I don't agree with a PP who says they are all like this, DD certainly wasn't.

Trampoline? Or is 17 months too young, can't remember how old DD was when she first had a bounce. Sprinkler in the garden to cool him down as he hurtles?

LizLimone Tue 22-Jul-14 17:19:28

My DS was the same - always on the go, couldn't sit still for minute. I used to walk MILES running around after him at every park in our area trying to wear him out but he was always ready to stay another hour and would scream when we had to leave!

All the toddler activities were useless at that age because they were all aimed at kids who just say placidly in their mothers' laps to listen to songs etc. Eventualky I found a group of friends with similarly crazy toddlers and we would meet up to go to the parks and stuff. We called ourselves exiles from Music class because ours were always the hyper ones at music class. grin

Hang in there and just get him out as much as you can! Mine is 2.9 now and finally calming down a little after a year of total insanity.

iwantkhaleesiseyebrows Tue 22-Jul-14 17:26:47

My 3 year old DD used to be like this. I used to wonder how on earth some people's kids would just sit on their parent's laps at rhyme time or whatever. Even at gym class someone commented 'my god she's a real live wire isn't she. It's like she's on speed all the time' shock yes thanks for that.

She never sat still, climbed and was into everything. It was exhausting!

I often wondered if I was doing something wrong. Anyway she has calmed down and I LOVE her 'moreness'. She will actually sit still to do activities and is excelling at preschool. Try not to worry - it's just a phase. Spend time with like minded mums if you can.

For us the turning point was around 2 years old - I think the terrible twos just started and ended earlier.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Tue 22-Jul-14 17:39:30

Yep that's toddler boys for you, like Duracell bunnies! Mine is 19 months old and is exhausting, needs two walks a day like a puppy

GirlWithTheLionHeart Tue 22-Jul-14 17:40:36

However the running about thing does sound to me like it's a bit excessive.

Not for a boy, mine and friends with boys just don't stop.

GirlWithTheLionHeart Tue 22-Jul-14 17:41:58

From a telegraph article the other day:

These women go for coffee with other new mums and watch enviously as the little girls crowd around a colouring book for a quiet half-an-hour, while their son climbs up the back of the sofa, knocks over their latte and up-ends a shelf of neatly stacked bottled-water. Haha yup! That's my experience completely.

Cakebaker35 Tue 22-Jul-14 17:49:16

Yes sounds pretty normal in my experience. Best advice is get out the house, as much as you can, go to the park or just walk and let him burn off some of the energy.

kkllww Tue 22-Jul-14 20:43:43

Iggle - there should be some local activities on near you during the summer. The one we've enrolled in goes on until early Aug and then starts again in September. Just pick one that's suitably active - most will let you do a trial session to see if it's right for him. This one has similar hyperactive toddlers who participate in some of the organised relays, chucking balls, but there's a fair bit of chaos, which is fine ;)

Back2Two Tue 22-Jul-14 20:51:38

Not for a boy, mine and friends with boys just don't stop.

Yes, totally normal for a boy. Not all boys mind, but can be totally normal.
Wind back 7 years and I was posting this on MN (under a different name).
My ds1 NEVER stopped moving.

Never forget the well known adage "boys are like dogs" .... I notice you already know this as you say "I take him out for a run" grin

As for the noise...totally normal too. I kind of lol at the "handful" comments. My dsis said this to me about my son (and she was well used to boys actually). Don't worry whatever you do. It's bloody exhausting but you know what? My 7 year old is a very chilled, bright and loving boy (has been for years now). Actually much less active than many of his peers.

Back2Two Tue 22-Jul-14 20:54:03

Sorry, not less "active" actually....less manic and boisterous.

rowna Tue 22-Jul-14 20:54:26

My dd was exactly like this - it's entirely normal. She could jump off the lounge windowsill onto the sofa then the floor consistently for hours. Never sat still from the minute she woke up (around 5am) to the minute she fell asleep (around 9pm).

I had to go out every morning - there wasn't a choice in it. And she'd be slightly calmer in the afternoon (but not much).

At toddler groups/gym/dance/swimming she was a nightmare. She wouldn't do what everybody else was doing - had to be running or jumping.

She had lengthy problems focussing at reception age. But when she did she did very well (eventually). We had a few comments from I would like to say inexperienced nursery and school staff regarding the level of oomph. But ride through it and keep faith, would be my advice.

I remember a lot of half drunk cups of tea around at this time. It does come to an end, but it takes a very long time (around age 7 for me).

But for all the hard work the result has been an extremely imaginative, very enthusiastic learner. Who never stops talking.

igglepigglesbitch Wed 23-Jul-14 07:42:42

Thanks everyone for being so nice. At least I don't feel like a terrible mother anymore. Going to try all the techniques you said - like indoor voice - mummy can hear you.

Do you know where the best places are to look for these sort of activities? places for toddlers? soft play?

GirlWithTheLionHeart Wed 23-Jul-14 08:05:53

Google 'toddler groups - your town' and should come up with listings.

Elizabeth1984 Thu 24-Jul-14 22:28:27

Have you tried taking him swimming? I've got an 18mth ds and it's my secret weapon as it tires him out so much I'm guaranteed a long nap out of him afterwards.

HaroldLloyd Thu 24-Jul-14 22:31:44

Mine spent 45 mins today crawling on and off a chair and it seemed to make him angry.

His brother was worse!

We go to a gym thing that really wears them out, would look for things like that.

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