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my 5 year old: everybody hates me

(4 Posts)
YnysUchaf Fri 18-Jul-14 20:14:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misfitless Sat 19-Jul-14 10:25:50

Give her strategies to cope, such as ..if she feels that someone has looked at her in an unkind way, teach her to look the other way.

Also explain that they might not have meant to upset her in the first place.

Can you teach her that it is her reaction rather than the way that a child looks at her, that is the problem.

We all get looked at like that from time to time, but if we learn how to deal with it, it won't ruin our day, and we won't end up getting into trouble...she's only young, but she might be able to understand that.

I wouldn't worry, I'm sure that with your help she will learn to be more resilient, and given time, there'll be more of these sorts of episodes.

I'd give her lots of praise after the next party, if there are fewer incidents.

Also, bear in mind, that it might be the case of half of one..some children that age can be very snitchy. It might be that your daughter is actually already fairly resilient, and is on the receiving end of it too, but doesn't see the need to come and tell you about every incident wink.

This used to happen with my DS. I'd forever have someone pointing out something he'd said, then when I asked him, it turns out he wasn't the instigator, but he was just never one for telling off people, he just dealt with things himself, but then they ended up telling tales on him.

YnysUchaf Sat 19-Jul-14 10:49:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misfitless Sat 19-Jul-14 11:05:27

Oh! Bless her!

I think I empathise with your DD grin!

I imagine that if you're feeling a bit stressed, that being surrounded with people imploring you to calm down, rather than just leaving you alone for five minutes and actually giving her some space to calm down is just about the worst thing that those helpful little poppets could have done wink!

To me it sounds like she's got her head screwed on right, and that it's the others who need to just let her breathe, but I realise that that's no help, and doesn't solve anything.

Don't know what to suggest. Maybe stay at the parties for a bit and keep an eye on her to try and diffuse the situations if they arise. If you do stay at the parties, could you have a chat before hand, and explain that if it's all getting too much, she should just come and sit with you for 5 minutes?

Do these parties tend to be at soft play areas? Is she sightly claustrophobic? i find those places quite stressful..all that noise, little girls screaming, older boys pushing, all cramped into tiny tunnels and ball pools.

I'm coming out in hives just thinking about all that grin!

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