My son hates to lose.

[mandbaby]

My DS1 (aged 4.7) is a nightmare to play games with. Board games, etc, anything that involves 2 or more players. If he wins, he's the happiest boy alive, but if he loses, it doesn't matter if he's already won the previous 10 times, he has the biggest meltdown imaginable! It's got to the point where I avoid suggesting that we play a game together for fear of his reaction.

Yesterday, I gave him and DS2 (aged 2.11) those plastic bugs that you throw at the windows and they slowly "walk" down. I suggested that they throw them at the same time and see whose bug got to the bottom first. Of course, when DS1's bug lost, he went into meltdown.

What can I do? I'm terrified that when he starts school in September, he's going to alienate himself from others because of his poor sportstmanship. I'm all for a bit of healthy competitiveness, but this is silly!

Any tips?

[Flexibilityiskey]

I don't really have any tips, but I sympathise. My DS is 6, and is exactly the same. Every time he loses against me, DH, or his cousins he is inconsolable. The good news is, he is not nearly as bad at school, or with his friends. Mine played in his first little football tournament a few weeks back, and they lost 10 out of 11 games. He came home really happy to have had a go. I had been expecting hysterics!

All I have done is to keep making sure he does lose sometimes and ignoring the resulting sobbing. I also make a big deal of telling him that what matters is trying his best, rather than if he wins.

[OutragedFromLeeds]

This is completely normal so don't worry.

Avoid any unnecessary competition for the time being e.g. the bug race. Lead by example and show that winning/losing doesn't matter by praising both e.g. with the bug thing DS2 had the fastest bug, but DS1 had the stickiest bug.

If you do play a board game, completely ignore any tantrums and wait for this stage to pass! He will grow out of it, or at least learn to manage it better.

[RonaldMcDonald]

I'm ultimately the same with a thin veneer of adult covering it
It may be a phase it may be part of him that he works on as he gets older
Sounds appropriate for some

[Blueuggboots]

My DS is 3.4 and has to "win" everything - first down the stairs, first everywhere, has to win games.
Drives me mad!!!!!!