8 year old behaviour - pulled boys trousers down

[parsleysagerosemaryandthyme]

Hi - feeling mortified and furious about my 8 year old DDs behaviour today. I got spoken to by the teacher because she pulled a boys trousers down in the playground. (Not his pants, thank goodness). Obviously the school are not happy about it - she was sent to another classroom. I am furious with her and don't understand why she did this. She is generally fairly good, although she does get a bit silly sometimes.
I asked her why she did it, and she says she doesn't know. I think she was probably trying to make everyone laugh.

What I am even more cross about is that a few weeks ago, a boy pulled down my 5 year old DS's pants when they were getting changed for PE, (I found out from the teacher, who spoke to the boy and his parents), and we all had a chat about how this was not a nice thing to do, and why you shouldn't do it.
So to find out a few weeks later that she has done a similar thing to another boy at school is infuriating especially as she is 3 years older and should know better.

So now I know how it feels from both sides of the situation. We have confiscated her gadgets and she is on a computer ban. I have talked to her about how the boy must feel and how unhappy I am about this sort of behaviour.

Like many 8 year olds she can be a bit moody and wilful sometimes, at other times quite helpful and kind. But at school recently she has been quite well-behaved so this is out of the blue.

Has anyone else's child done this? What would you do?
I am too embarrassed to talk to any of my friends about it!

[sleepyhead]

Well,I'd be furious as this sort of thing is often a calculated attack to humiliate rather than just a laugh by this age. And the "popular" children rarely get their clothes pulled off ime.

However,children do these things and learn from the response they get,so as long as you come down hard,she's genuinely sorry,and the victim gets a heartfelt apology then I don't think it's anything particular to worry about.

[parsleysagerosemaryandthyme]

Yes, we have made her write letters of apology. She said she felt ashamed and wished today hadn't happened so I think she is genuinely sorry she did it. I am still at a loss why she did it though. DH is really cross too.

[lljkk]

DS is immature & would do stuff like this, he doesn't understand about personal boundaries very well and he likes rough play, so assumes others like it too.

[Valsoldknickers]

Just to let you know I stopped in my tracks reading a bedtime story to my DS' s last week which involved Horrid Henry doing the same to someone in the school yard.

Might your DD have read the book and it gave her the idea?

[LynetteScavo]

Ds did something similar aged 8 for a dare. Obviously he was vey told off at school, and by us... but children are learning and he learned that day this is totally unacceptable. He's never done anything like it since, and indeed is a very respectful teenager.

I can see why to an 8yo who hasn't thought about how this might make someone feel it could seem funny.