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my little boy is biting?

(4 Posts)
debz774 Mon 02-Jun-14 08:03:55

My little boy is 17months old and has started biting,he hasnt done it to me but has done it to other ppl (ie other family members)any advise on how I can stop this?
He goes to nursery 1 day a week so I'm terrified he does it to 1 of the kids there..any good tips please?!?!?!?!

DeputyPecksBentBeak Mon 02-Jun-14 08:20:58

Might not work for all but I've found what works for my dd is ignoring her. Obviously I stop her doing it (in her case it started with pinching and scratching) and profusely apologise if she has done it to someone else. I used to find that if I told her off and/or told her to apologise it would amp her up and she'd think it was a game and do it more.

She still responds like this at 2.4. She's usually so gentle with her baby brother and hasn't scratched etc for ages, and never to him anyway, but two weeks ago she started biting him while they were both in a trolley (her in the seat, him in the baby seat thing next to her). She's never bitten before and I think it was largely down to her being overtired. I told her off for it and she just kept trying. In the end I had to hold DS and abandon the shopping. She had a nap when she got home and immediately apologised without prompting when she woke up, which never happens.

On Friday she tried biting him again but I took his hand away and distracted her by talking about something else and not acknowledging it, and it worked. Obviously I appreciate this can't go on forever! She can't get to being a teenager with me just going "oh, we don't do that dear." Or me apologising to others for her behaviour, but she just doesn't get it yet. Some of her friends the same age do get it, it really depends on the child.

chinup2011 Mon 02-Jun-14 08:24:58

Hi Debz
My little boy used to do this too, he was probably a little older than yours too. At the time I was so worried about him playing with friends, I was on edge all the time. I think he was struggling to express himself at the time and it was a way of communicating, as he seemed to be unaware that it hurt. Just it got an instant reaction. The way I dealt with it was to keep telling him no, it was wrong etc. constant reminders. Eventually he got it, probably months later I think. But he did go for family members and little pals, I feel for you as I know how embarrassing it is.
Just keep reinforcing firmly without a dramatic reaction, show him you mean business and are not happy.
My son is 15 now, we have more complicated problems.
I sometimes wish we were back biting again! Try not to be too worried it will pass, but I know it is awful for you.

bendywillow Mon 02-Jun-14 13:30:38

My little boy was a biter on and off until he was about 5. I understand your concern - it hurts others quite seriously and is terribly embarrassing! Once he got to be around 3, the strategy would be to be very firm with a 'no! we don't hurt other people!' response and then take him over to the child or adult who was affected and have him apologise. It was a phase (although one that seemed to last forever) and he eventually stopped. We shared our strategy with anyone who was looking after him (preschool, grandparents, etc) so the message from adults was consistent. With him being so young, he probably won't be ready for the apology bit, but the verbal message could still used. I personally found that the apology bit went down quite well with other parents - they were pretty pleased to see a parent taking action when their little one had been hurt - it did really help to ease some of the social awkwardness that happens around biters.

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