20 month old. Food / seating issue - does anyone else have/ had this?

[GingerDoodle]

This started a couple of months ago; its got better but very hit and miss. She's 20 months.

DD won't sit in her highchair or even on a booster; she will (in the main) sit on a dining chair (which we've raised up) to eat if i am on my own with her but she will normally want to be getting down half way though. Breakfast and lunch I try to not give her anything after this point but dinner I relent and giver her whatever she wants off a fork as i don't want her hungry going to bed IYSWIM.

This I can deal with but when DH is home it goes to pieces and she wants to sit on Daddy the majority of the time....not practical for him and I'm sure not great for her digestion.

All my friends kids seem to sit nicely in high chairs; does anyone have any experience?

[foolonthehill]

Yup....if it matters to you (and it would to me) then tough it out. A rule is a rule.

They all choose different places to push the boundaries (bedtime, getting up in the night, potty........) She has found one that she can assert her authority with. Toddlers will do this....

By all means offer her a choice (highchair/dining seat) but not any choice (ie not Daddy's knee) and then insist she sticks to it. If she gets down before you say she can (teach her to ask get down please) then no more food and no screen/toys/books until dinner time is finished for you all, maybe find a place where she has to sit until you are finished (the stairs in our house but I know some people don;t like this). Basically you are making getting down have consequences and staying up more attractive. You can also reinforce the sitting up by an incentive (star chart/extra story/chocolate button....)

Don't fork feed her unless she is sitting up to the table. Going to bed with a slightly empty tummy won't be bad for her.

You have, unfortunately hit the point where Mummy and Daddy have to mean business. You want your daughter to be able to sit at a table and eat nicely, you want to be able to go out to restaurants/cinemas/parks and be able to enjoy family time without a wild child tearing around and disrupting it...here is where you invest for the future. Tough love....

HTH and good luck.

[boringlivingroom]

When ds did this we got him a small chair and table and let him get up and down as he wanted. A lot of little children prefer to graze. We also let him sit on our laps at tea time as he was tired.

As he got a bit older we started to encourage him to sit at the table properly. We've done the same with dd (she's 2.5, ds is nearly 5). They are both pretty good now - ds can sit down and we can take them out for meals with no running around. We just accept that we have to take entertainment for them e.g. colouring in, small bits of LEGO etc.

[GingerDoodle]

Thank you both for your responses. The other half to this problem is she has a biscuit with milk before bed and now has worked out she can create for biscuits during the day. I am currently listening to a temper tantrum as she had half her dinner then wanted one! In her defence she is full of snot and had her 4 canines cutting through. Needles to say she won't be getting one before bedtime.

foolonthehill - I like your ideas but she is a tad young to get the concept of most; the only place I could realistically make her sit safely is her buggy and she likes that!

boringlivingroom - I'd happily let her sit at a small table and graze; she actually quite well behaved out (she got horrendous,) but the minute Daddy is about its the same problem. What age did your two start to improve?

I think this weekend we're going to toughen Daddy deal with it.

[boringlivingroom]

Tbh if she is ill and just wants to sit with her daddy, what is the big deal? How late does she have her dinner? You could give it before he is home.

Also if she is fine out then that's the main thing!

Mine got better from 3ish. Basically older and could sit still for longer.

[GingerDoodle]

Boring - its not a one off. She eats before we do at fish but all still try and sit on Daddy when he eats.

That said despite her dinner taking an hour, being interrupted by the meltdown over a biscuit and getting a fork lobbed at me, she ate it all and then despite a bit of fuss let us eat in peace!

[foolonthehill]

Buggy would be fine......it's not a punishment it is the alternative to sitting at the table, ie not running around. 20 months is great for easy immediate consequences. Mummy says this is no.....so it won;t happen just as you are doing with the biscuit.

[poocatcherchampion]

agree entirely with fool and use it for both our 26mo and 9mo. start as you mean to go on op