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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

bad tempered baby

63 replies

littlepiggie · 02/09/2006 12:06

Ds is 19 weeks old and has from day one had a temper like you would not believe. He squeeles as loud as he can, pretends to cey untill he gets your attention, throws himself back when you have hold of him, throws himself out of bouncy chair. He can scream full pelt for over an hour for what sees like no reason.
It is like this none stop from morning till night, hv are out of ideas and say ignore him even been out to witness it as he is good as gold when he is out.

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sleepysooz · 02/09/2006 15:00

you poor thing, I don't know how to help you, it must be so draining on you, has he colic or anything else that could be the matter, I should involve hv they can have some good ideas if he is just a cryee baby, (little minx)

Have you got a wind up swing? they are a god-send!
What about putting on floor with an activity centre over him, does he need attention? or is he genuinly upset or cross!

I suppose theres only you who can tell the sort of crying he produces, generally mums right (instinctively) so sorry if he is just grumpy. I don't know what to suggest!

Good luck, and get those ear defender in!

sleepysooz · 02/09/2006 15:01

Is he getting enough sleep? or is he hungry?

kid · 02/09/2006 15:04

do you have a video camera so you can show the HV exactly what it is he is doing? If you have ruled out there being any reasons for crying (thirst, hunger, dirty nappy) then how about distraction? Rather that pick him up or talk to him, how about making a noise or start singing a song?
My BIL copied the noise his baby made, it soon stopped the baby!

I had a bad tempered baby form about 1 year old, he is now a very bad tempered 4.5 year old!

sleepysooz · 02/09/2006 15:10

sorry kid, it doesn't get better one of mine is 11, I keep threatening him with brat camp! (as a joke of course and its taken with a pinch of salt)

sleepysooz · 02/09/2006 15:11

sorry littlepiggie, that was of no use to you at all, just trying to make light of a very frustrating and tiring problem!

littlepiggie · 02/09/2006 15:29

HV saw a bit when she came round, did have colic but that settled, if i try to feed him when he is not hungry he punches or throws himself back. Try to get him down for a few naps a day, but have to put him in bed, give him a kiss and walk away, he shouts(does not cry though) for about 10 min then goes to sleep. If i go in he screams blue murder and then will not go off.
Not even dh realises how bad he is as he works long hours 6 days a week.
tried ignoring him, doing the same back nothing helps, he is like a stropy toddler, he even screams if he cant have something, like the phone or a cup, if he sees it he wants it.

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littlepiggie · 02/09/2006 15:31

sleepysooz, it make me laugh, and want to cry.

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sleepysooz · 02/09/2006 16:30

You poor thing, your ds is obviously very intelligent and knows what he wants, and needs stimulation alot, very tiring for any mother to deal with.

My twins are now 2.10 and I can honestly say they have interacted very well and seem to bounce off each other with their different temperaments, even though its hard work with the constant demands.

DS is more temperamental though, he screams and shouts, yet he has a lovely talking voice, so gentle when he uses it!

He kicks and screams his way through most daily tasks, like getting dressed, going out, meal times and bath times, its a constant battle!

We must be doing something wrong eh! probably need to just ignore them!

I remember the nursery leader said the key to ds1 (10yo now) is consistancy, he was and is a very explosive child. My key to coping with the boys in our family is not to get cross with them, or I just find I am fighting with them and that doesn't help! Plenty of exercise and boundaries, calm and relaxation times!

I tell you what can help is reflexology, I have a book called 'The family guide to reflexology' by Ann Gillanders - I bet you could get a book from your local library on child reflexology, it may help! or even baby massage, thats quite popular! you may find your local health centre does a course.

Anything is worth a try.

Good luck!

littlepiggie · 02/09/2006 16:49

thanks, will try baby massage.
When he is in a good mood he is the sweetest baby i have ever see, and while out the only time he cries is if he is hungry, he's perfect.
The problem start if he is not getting what he wants.
Think we should have thought about his name more, Harry, it means home boss!!!!

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kid · 03/09/2006 10:03

I did baby massage on DS when he was 12 weeks old. He was a happy smiley baby then though. I will have to see if I can remember any of it to try on him now.

snugglemunch · 04/09/2006 13:51

hiya! i'm wondering when your little ones birthday is because my son sounds quite similar and he's an aries. I don't know if you're into any astrology but i've been facinated as i looked on line what an aries temperament is like and it's my boy precisely....it's also the year of the fire dog which adds more 'fire' to the little chap!

You might want to try craniosacral therapy it can really help with babies as it realines the bones in the neck and head which may have been a little out of place from the birth an can release some pressure which can make them a lot calmer. It's gentle and good for babies

littlepiggie · 04/09/2006 16:26

he was born on the 21st april.

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LoveMyGirls · 04/09/2006 20:16

i have heard a cranial osteopath can help but costs quite a bit. our dd who is 11mths can be like that at times - if she drops somethings she makes a sudden scream indicating she wants it back NOW! if she doesnt want her food she pushes the spoon so hard it flys everywhere and she refuses to hold the bottle herself and wont have a beaker either she just wont drink from it just throws it on the floor.

i just take it calmly and let her get on with it i dont force her to eat or drink and i give in and hold her bottle for her, i will keep trying on the beaker and eventually i hope she will do it but i cant see her ever holding the bottle herself she's clever enough to know i don't want her to go thirsty so i will give in. if i just put it in front of her she throws it on the floor and screams til i pick it up and feed her with it!

i dont know what the answer is if i did id have an angel child as the rest of the time she is adorable. she isnt so attention seeking which helps, she will sit and play on her own for ages she likes it when i make noises back at her and sing to her.

littlepiggie · 04/09/2006 20:26

Dont know whats going on with him, dont know attention or he is just moody, whatever it is he is hard work.

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mummymelling · 04/09/2006 21:28

worth a thought have you tried aromatherapy???? you should go to a qualified practitioner... in the mean time try the airwick lavender and chamomile plug ins very sooting,, you could try giving him chamomile tea [weak] to drink... stay sane xx

mummymelling · 04/09/2006 21:29

soothing!!! god my spelling is sh*te when in tired lol

Saturn74 · 04/09/2006 21:37

LoveMyGirls mentioned cranial osteopathy. I would recommend it, particularly if your DS had a particularly difficult birth. My DS1 had a forceps delivery, and cranial osteopathy worked well for him, although we didn't get round to it for years after his birth - which I regret. It was about £25 per hour, which is expensive, but he only needed about three hours in total, and it has worked wonders. He told me afterwards that his head ache had gone - I didn't even know he had one, and I suppose he didn't notice the difference until it had gone! He was a very unsettled baby, very clingy, would winge and cry a lot - I wish I'd gone for cranial osteopathy when he was tiny.

nebthenoob · 04/09/2006 21:37

Littlepiggie - Hi - am new to mumsnet, but saw your thread and had to sympathise.... I have 3 girls (aged 4,3 and 1) and the middle one has been explosive since the day she was born - screamed all the time she wasn't actually feeding or sleeping and always seemed to be hugely frustrated. Now she is three, she is struggling to learn to control herself, but is definitely getting better.

Few comments which may help if your baby is the same - firstly, I eventually got very good at ignoring the noise, which helped me to cope (obv rest of world thinks you are bad mother...), and secondly, the explosions have become (slowly) less frequent as she has got older, so there is hope!

When she is calm, she is unbelievably rewarding (think she is too bright for her own good), so it really is worth the effort. I always felt sorry for her too, because everyone apart from me thought she was awful (only girl at nursery who would deal with her happily was deaf!) I think life is difficult for this kind of kid, but it's tricky to stay calm and sympathise when they're screaming and stamping at you...

Assuming there's no medical problem with your little one, I think you have to grit your teeth and work on the assumption you'll get a pretty special child out of the end of it - and that any other child you have will probably be completely different.

Final point - my little tearaway has always needed an enormous amount of sleep (12hrs + 2.5hr nap, even though she's three) and gets much worse if she is short of sleep. Don't know whether that's common to other volatile kids??

LIZS · 04/09/2006 21:39

He does sound like a high maintenance baby, which is wearing and stressful for you, but your HV doesn't sound very constructive tbh and not sure it is helpful to label him as "bad tempered" . It isn't as if, at this age, he is being deliberately difficult or manipulative, just very needy. He sounds pretty unhappy or uncomfortable at times for some reason and cranial osteopathy, massage etc could help identify the underlying issues and help you cope and placate him more easily. Presumably you've eliminated the obvious potential medical causes.

blueshoes · 04/09/2006 21:42

Littlepiggie, your ds sounds like a handful . It could just be a temperament thing, very much like my dd. She just knew what she wanted, focused and persistent, even as a baby, and would not accept "no" for an answer. I would hesitate to use words like "temper" and "stroppy" on an infant. Your ds might just happens to have a strong personality - which does not make him the easiest to parent - but if you continue to respond to him, you will really start to see him blossom when he gets older.

Unlike other babies, my dd actually got easier as a toddler, even though she was a nightmare as a baby. She will never be the laid back type, and is still strong-willed, but once she could communicate and have more control over her world, she is just the most engaging and cuddly thing ever! Your ds will be too!!

beegee · 04/09/2006 22:19

Hi - I'm new to MN and new to many of the abbreviations used on the site Sorry to interrupt this thread but could someone explain...DS, DD, DH etc so I can get into the swing of things? Thank you!

littlepiggie · 04/09/2006 22:38

It was in lobour for 5 hours then pushing for an hour, no forcepts. I was me that called him bad tempered, hv just aggreed.
The little monkey was sat in his high chair (can sit up in it even though it says 6 months) while me and dh were eating, banging on the table cos he could not have my glass (well plastic glass thing we have started using for drinks)
He is far to strong for his own good and wants to be off, i think he will be very good as a toddler thats the strange thing. He drags himself about a foot on his belly (remember only 4 months).

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mrsnoah · 04/09/2006 23:24

Beegee- Ds son, dd daughter, dh husband, dp partner, hv health visitor (see acronym list in top box)
Littlepiggie
Sounds either/ both
a)very bright and frustrated in which case will be better when can express himself more. Some people are doing this baby sign language... helped a friend of mine.
b) very tired little boy. Make sure he is getting enough sleep?

Could you start to teach him how to relax and calm down now by anything you can think of. I would certainly get him used to massage, or listening to your slow breathing when he is having a paddy. Think of ways to teach him to calm down that will be useful and familiar to him when he gets to Toddlerdom!!
Doe s that make sense?

horsecrazy · 04/09/2006 23:42

I have four and thought they all had tempers my youngest girl who is 1 year old has a temper to top the lot of them.

pookey · 04/09/2006 23:44

Hi sorry to diagnose as really not qualified to do so but the arching and not wanting to feed could be silent reflux (like painful indegestion), my ds used to do that kind of thing and make funny angry noises a lot at that age. If this is the case the same problem could have caused the colic. The GP thought my ds had reflux because of a rumbling chesty sound in his throat does that ring any bells?

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