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Should we always follow Health Professionals Advice?

(19 Posts)
Jillxx Fri 15-Mar-02 17:31:45

My eldest daughter has ADHD and recently her medication seems to be not so effective as before. We have made an appt to see dr on 28th March.I have been given SO much advice but mostly it is conflicting. I have been advised to ignore ALL bad behaviour, I have tried this but it is very difficult and her tempers grow till she gets the reaction. The other night she screamed to us that she hoped we'd die and bleed and she would laugh and not come to our funerals! The next night she got to the point of using swear words we didn't know she knew at us. We ignored and she finally stopped but it was so difficult. She is nearly 7 and am worried incase we are ignoring behaviour she can control and also worried incase we punish for behaviour she can't control. I feel I need to be in contact with other ADHD children's parents rather than relying on 'textbook' suggestions from 'professionals' - none of mine have even got a child with any form of behaviour problems!
If anyone out there is a fellow parent of a child with ADHD and has any tips please reply to this or email me barlow@ntlworld.com.
I did attend a support group at a local hospital but now that has closed. Recently have really needed it!
Can anyone advise who is going through or gone through what I am/have????
Jill

robinw Fri 15-Mar-02 20:33:06

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Kia Fri 15-Mar-02 22:16:18

Thanks Robin, I've been trying to put something on this thread about the diet thing, but my machine just freezes everytime I mention the fizzy drink that begins with 'C'! You might want to check what your daughter is eating at school too because sometimes even chips and tomato sauce can set a child off - my neighbour's child was completely uncontrollable after eating just a small plate at our house. We also tried to anticipate the point of no return in our son - ie proactively calm the situation down as soon as we notice the sparky type behaviour was starting. It's not easy and sometimes you wonder where it will all end, but keep trying - it took a while for us to recognise that essential point, but once you do, it's remarkable how you can divert the attention before it becomes a full blown display. Sounds like a bird - but my son used to leap about all over the place flapping his hands just like one!! proactive not reactive our health visitor said, and I almost came to blows, but it did make life much more tolerable for all concerned. Good luck.

Jillxx Fri 15-Mar-02 22:45:11

Thanks for the advice, have previously been to adders and cafamily thanks. Also she is not allowed artificial colourings, and hasn't had any for over 2 years now. That was due to them giving her lumps around the mouth and stomach pains.
She is on medication which we are wondering if she grown immune to, been on them nearly a year now! We have also done the food intolerance diet set by a dietician as my daughter is underweight for her age too. Anymore tips / ideas gratefully received - am getting desparate!

tigermoth Sat 16-Mar-02 12:51:59

Jillxx what a shame the support group at your local support has closed. It sounds like it was really helpful. As you say, expert opinions are all very well, but talking to other parents makes you feel less alone with the problem. Where have the other parents at the group gone? Do you have their addresses and could you see any of them still? Could you start your own group? After reading all your postings here, you seem to know so much about ADHD, even if you havn't found all the answers.

Alternatively, can you find out where the next nearest support group is? Even if it is a two hour journey away, it sounds like it would be a journey worth making.

tigermoth Sat 16-Mar-02 13:08:19

spelling! local hospital, not local support!

Jillxx Fri 22-Mar-02 10:30:31

Tigermoth - problem is whenever I went there was only the leader, I have asked for my details to be forwarded to her but she left due to 'personal reasons' and so was told they wouldn't. Funnily enough when I heard this I offered to run it myself at the same place etc and am still waiting to hear from the person I need to speak to. So far have waited over a week, nearer 2!!!
Our nearest now is about 1 hours drive away but I cannot drive and hubby doesn't want to!!! Men eh?!?
Thanks for the kind words.... any more tips please keep 'em coming in

Rozzy Fri 22-Mar-02 16:19:42

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Jillxx Sat 23-Mar-02 17:16:02

Thanks Rozzy, she did contact me. Anymore tips please keep 'em coming! Today took daughters out for a trip to a local farm, made a day of it inc. McDonalds for dinner and face painting etc, souveniers, snack at the farm etc etc etc but returned being told "you never do anything for us". It upsets when you plan what you imagine to be a nice day out but tempers/rages/moodswings ruin it. Nothing ever seems to be good enough!! Sorry I am feeling a bit sorry for myself so will just say thanks again to all who've replied and please any tips at all re. behaviour management, adhd etc keep 'em coming.

WideWebWitch Sat 23-Mar-02 20:32:59

Hi Jillx you have my sympathy. I'm not in the same position, but I have a friend who has a child that they thought might be ADHD at one point.

I saw her behaviour and it was very, very difficult: tantrums that could go on for hours and hours, screaming, complete lack of control etc. This child was younger at 3, but they changed her diet on the advice of a homeopath and excluded not only all food colourings, but also ALL sugar. The change has been remarkable.

I was there once when my friend accidentally gave her dd ordinary baked beans instead of non-sugar ones and you could see dd's behaviour deteriorate immediately.

What do you think about seeing a homeopath? Or cutting out sugar? I know it's very hard but my friend has persisted with this for nearly 2 years now and thinks it's worth it. Having seen the difference for myself I agree with her!

And that must have been very frustrating for you being told that you don't do anything right, when clearly you do! Don't be hard on yourself, you are doing your best and that is all that any of us can do.
HTH.

WideWebWitch Sat 23-Mar-02 20:35:01

Sorry if that was irrelevant Jillx, re-reading your post I see that you've been down the food intolerance road...

Kia Sat 23-Mar-02 21:34:29

My friend's little girl was also Coeliac (?can't spell) it's a wheat intolerance, she was also not allowed yeast in any shape or form as well as no sugar. I saw her today and thought of you, from that screaming uncontrollable child is now quite a quiet assured young woman. I wondered if you'd looked at this site www.altmedicine.com it's got all kinds of info on it and a really good search engine - you put in something like allergies for example and it searches all kinds of publications for matches - serious publications like the Lancet and medical research centres etc, it's not a wierdo site. But you get understandable stuff out - you don't have to be a noble prize winner to read it!! You have to register which is just an accept/decline button but I've been on it for years and never had any spam or contact etc from it. It could be useful for you.

Jillxx Sat 23-Mar-02 23:53:19

Thanks Kia and Wickedwaterwitch for the messages. My daughter has been off food colourings for about 3 years ish as we found they were causing sores around her mouth and giving stomach pains in the night which even the hospital couldn't figure. Since we discovered the reason no troubles so I can vouch for the effect these additives etc can have. Thanks for the site Kia, have tried it and registered thanks! We have done all the elimination diets and found no change, have also cut sugar out as well but to no effect - big change was with colourings but not to do with behaviour only illness symptoms. Thanks though to you both and everyone who's replied. Please anymore tips are very welcome!!!

sml Mon 25-Mar-02 17:13:11

Jillx, no more advice I'm afraid, but lots of sympathy. Coming from a family that suffers food intolerances, I can imagine what you, your daughter and your family are going through, through no fault of your own.
Other anecdotal evidence/research I have seen for hyperactivity suggests 1. mineral deficiencies due to the body processing certain minerals inefficiently, and 2. electromagnetic fields, but I don't really know much about either.

Rozzy Mon 25-Mar-02 21:15:46

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mollipops Tue 26-Mar-02 06:26:52

Jillxx, take a look at this site, www.schwablearning.org

It's got so much practical advice and information about learning difficulties and behaviour, I'm sure you will find something useful there... My dd has gross motor developmental delay, and I found it when searching for info about that, but it really is a great site. Good luck finding some help and support. You will get through this!

Jillxx Mon 01-Apr-02 17:23:38

Thanks for all the postings. Rozzy, your friend did email me directly thanks! She was off on holiday I think she said just after she typed her email so am awaiting her return / email. Thanks again!
Thanks Mollipops for the address, will be checking it out once I have typed this posting.
Did get to see the Paediatrician, she basically advised us to ignore the bad behaviour and gave us an Equasen booklet and behaviour booklet to fill in, I think to assess her doseage etc. Have to fill it in for 5 weeks and also get the school to fill in bits too.
Thanks again for the advice - have also been recommended the Nurturing Heart Approach which i am seriously considering!

maryz Mon 01-Apr-02 21:01:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wells1 Tue 09-Apr-02 22:02:13

Probably irrelevant but read something about essential fatty acids (in oily fish) being good for mental disorders including depression. I'm sure it also mentioned mood swings. We are nearly all deficient owing to not eating mackeral and sardines etc so the doctors recommended taking supplements. I take them on and off because I know that EFAs are essential for baby brain & eye development and I'm still breast feeding. They might be worth a try - but I'm no expert. There is some ADHD in my family (including a close relative who gave his parents hell, like your poor daughter) so I'm keeping an eye on my son. Even if this is useless, you have my sympathy. Take care of yourself.

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