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How to deal with ridicule from ignorant people about my sons flat spot?

(10 Posts)
Cast1ststone Fri 02-May-14 18:58:02

My son has mild Brachycephaly(flat head). When he was born my mother would tell me to keep him off his head as much as possible, which I did. He had severe colic for 2 months and was not happy unless he was in a swing.
His head at birth was normal size but every appointment it was clear his head was getting large and his body was not growing as fast. His 4 month check up his head measured 95% and his weight and length was 25%.
He explained that the head flattening was more prone in larger headed babies and assured me it would fix itself. Well I knew from the beginning when people made comments that it was just not true. I held him all the time and played with him and loved on him.
I would flip him around in the bassinet at opposite ends and try to turn his head. It would either wake him up screaming or he would just flop it back. I was very attentive about trying to build his neck and back muscles and his head control was excellent even at 2 months. People always said "wow he can hold his head up already?" Yet even that did not fix the flattening.
I put head cushions in the swing from the get go to soften the back up. Even though I know I tried and gave 110% and even explained that that this is because his head is larger than normal. I still got comments on how it was caused by being left on his back for too long?!
It is insulting and inconsiderate even when I tell them why and explain. My mom even made a comment pointing out that I am the reason his head got large! Umm NO the doc. explained it was a genetic thing and it is just insane to blame his large head on some kind of neglect. Ohh I suppose his small body is neglect too not genetics! I look for comforting on here but I read so many threads on how it is the parents fault and they should have done this or that. I wanted to try again and see if I can get some real responses from people who understand. I would appreciate if people do not gloat in response. I am not opting for a helmet and the doc won't give me a referral anyways so please. I am not looking for ways to correct it as I am already doing everything I can. I just want some ideas on how to deal with these weird attitudes and looks and comments that are just ignorant. I would also love to hear about anyone who had a kid with Brachycephaly and what happened without the helmet or treatment? Thank you.

ABeautifulLie Fri 02-May-14 20:10:16

My nephew suffered with it. He did

ABeautifulLie Fri 02-May-14 20:11:09

......not have any treatment and now, at the age of 9, he looks just like any other child.

hotcrosshunny Fri 02-May-14 20:14:15

The big head and flat head are two different albeit related issues. My dd has a massive head (90th centile versus 25th centile weight/height). This is genetic - me and DH have big heads.

It sounds like it is just your mum going on about the flat head thing? Tell her that she is being unhelpful and hurtful.

naty1 Fri 02-May-14 20:31:22

My DD has a flat spot. I think she used to sleep with head against cot.
But its not at the back its more in the corner.
She had no naps in cot until 11m only on me and in car seat when driving.
It was only at about that age i noticed it.
But even when she did sleep in cot from 6m or so it was on tummy anyway.
It can just be a sign of a baby that sleeps well.
I wouldnt worry once he has hair you cant see anyway. Im sure there will be quite a frw nowadays with all the advice of sleeping only on back
Actually she does have 75% head to 50% length and weight and her head was biggish from birth ( her length and weight have dropped from 75th down)

SugarPlumpFairy3 Fri 02-May-14 21:30:35

I have twins. Dtd had a very flat head but my dts did not!

I think they spent roughly equal amounts of time on their backs. I believe it's down to the individual baby rather than anything you've done or not done. Maybe some are more prone to it! My dd1 didn't have a flat head either.

Now she's 18 months, it's definitely less noticeable.

itiswhatitiswhatitis Fri 02-May-14 21:39:45

Ds had a large head and had plagiocephaly (flat on one side) we did opt for a helmet and his head is fine now.

Has your son been checked for torticollis as this is often a cause too

MildredH Fri 02-May-14 22:23:24

Hi Cast

Apologies as I know this does not answer your question but after reading your post earlier in the day this came up on my twitter feed via the BMJ ( British Medical Journal) & I thought you might be interested.

I hope the link works ok- in case not- essentially it is an article about a randomised controlled trial into helmet therapy versus letting nature take it's course. The findings were that the two groups had similar outcomes.

Sorry no experience or anything to add re coping with peoples responses. They are numpties.
I hope things improve. Take care.

mousmous Fri 02-May-14 22:31:36

my dc had it quite badly as baby, quite assymetrical as well.
we did no helmet therapy as various dr told us that it should resolve on their own .
we did lots of tummy time and time in a sling, ps baby slept on tummy from about 5 month old (rolled over).
now at 7y you would never know.

Cast1ststone Sat 03-May-14 13:17:16

Thanks you all.

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