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subdued baby after a bad day

(12 Posts)
vichill Thu 01-May-14 20:22:01

my 10mo dd is a live wire. has met milestones early, expects constant stimulation and doesn't need much sleep. very active, affectiow and inquisitive, fights sleep morning noon and night and although draining I dont have any concerns.
We have had a difficult day today. Her refusal to eat, nap and constant clambering up my legs, whining and my exhaustion has meant I have shouted (not at her), slammed things and generally been shitty all day. since 4pm she has beem uncharacteristically subdued, quiet and shy. I feel so guilty. sad
can you reassure me i am quite normal and that the odd bad day won't mean she'll be a neurotic sad person. also what coping strategies other than cio and delegating are there?

FarToGo Thu 01-May-14 21:21:02

No advice but this sounds EXACTLY like my days at the moment.
Almost 10moD. She's brilliant, sociable, funny but fights sleep constantly, and has started a reign of terror for afternoons. It's like having a newborn again (despite the fact she was the most placid newborn!)
I have to put her in a sling to even make myself a cup of tea.... It's draining.
I wish she would have a subdued afternoon....
They won't remember the odd shout or shirty day.

vichill Thu 01-May-14 21:42:10

I found the newborn stage easier. Its the constant physicality of caring for her (dunno if thats even a word). I'm always being clawed, clung onto, sucked on, slept on, trod on etc. we co sleep and she's awake every 2 hrs too.
I keep reminding myself that one day I will miss the closeness.

Kissmequick123 Thu 01-May-14 22:07:26

Try and spin it into creating change. You did really well to reflect upon what happened today and know you don't want a repeat. So now you need to decide what you will do next time she's whiney etc. We all have stressy days and we all lose our rag occasionally but there are different degrees of loosing it. What strategies can you use in the future to ensure DSd's needs are met and you can manage.

Kissmequick123 Thu 01-May-14 22:08:22

Maybe you need more time to yourself and a break? Can you arrange that?

vichill Fri 02-May-14 00:23:53

yeah there are loads of people who would love to have her for a few hours.
I am reluctant though as they've said she seems sad when I have left her for short periods.
I really do need to try to get out to baby groups and out with friends without her. I don't think this intense mothering is sustainable for me. We are literally only apart for a ten minute bath.

Kissmequick123 Fri 02-May-14 06:48:05

If she is really active, she needs an outlet. Can you balance your days so half of it you are doing something directly for her (baby swim in the morning, park, baby groups, meeting other babies at friends houses where there are different toys. Then spend the other at home.

Kissmequick123 Fri 02-May-14 06:52:48

For example soft play in the morning, then at home in the afternoon. Then an excersise class/walk/catch up with friends for you early evening when she's a sleep.

It is hard going isnt it. What does she really want mid what do you also need for yourself

Kissmequick123 Fri 02-May-14 06:53:32

Do you have friends who have babies

Poppet45 Fri 02-May-14 09:17:33

Her sleeplessness is pretty extreme. Did she have colic as a newborn? Reflux? If its this longterm I'd be suspecting a dietery intolerance. Its most often milk.

vichill Fri 02-May-14 16:49:20

she did have reflux but I thought she had outgrown after a few weeks.she slept terribly when ebf too. shes not in any discomfort when waking in the night.just wants cuddling and a half hearted 1 min feed. if this refluxy behaviour? she has terrible trumps at night too.

no friends with babies. I am definitely going to the local mother baby group next week and a hv is there so I will ask her about a possible dairy intolerance.

Kissmequick123 Sun 04-May-14 20:04:04

I think you will feel happier when you have a small nice group of baby friends. They will all have their issues and you can support each other. A bit of adult company is important for sanity.

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