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Is 2 too young for nursery

(10 Posts)
Paulasharp89 Wed 30-Apr-14 20:14:40

My lil boys going to be 2 next week he's not really around kids his age I try to take him to sure start to learn to be with kids his age but he just stays close to me and don't interact with the other children I am thinking of getting him into nursery once or twice a week to help him make friends and learn to interact but not too sure if it's too early I'm a first time mum and worry about theses thing could do with some help

NormHonal Wed 30-Apr-14 20:36:45

It depends on the child.

For some it's too young, others thrive on it. To be honest though, it's closer to 3yo when they start really playing with others.

My DS is 2yo and loves nursery. He is a very physical boy, who needs a daily runaround outside, and he loves tearing around the playground with friends, then coming home for some quieter time with me.

I guess you won't know until you try?

Bumpsadaisie Wed 30-Apr-14 21:01:31

At just two my son's major preoccupation was "where's mummy/grandma, have I been ABANDONED???"

I couldn't go to the loo at toddler groups without taking him with me. I certainly couldn't leave him alone with anyone but my parents (who have looked after him since he was 10 mths old two days a week).

Now though, it's 6 months later. I notice he is much more confident. The other day he quite happily trotted off with his sister to play at a (admittedly familiar) neighbour's house, waving bye to me and holding the dad's hand.

Noisy situations with lots of kids still give him pause for thought, but he gets stuck in much more quickly now and is not at all worried if I pop to the next room to get some tea etc.

He has also just done potty training and is pretty reliable now plus his speaking is so much more advanced than it was 6 mths ago.

I plan to start him at preschool in September, when he will be 2 and 10 mths.

My view is that very young children are mainly worried about not being left by you, then as they advance towards three they get over that and are much more interested in friends and the external world. Some reach this stage sooner rather than later. My DD started preschool at 2.5, she was definitely ready and there were no tears or anxieties. However my son is a bit later to be ready.

You don't make a very small child sociable by thrusting them into preschool if they are not yet developmentally ready, you just make them anxious and more clingy. In fact I think children are more confident if they are not forced into social situations while they are still in the separation anxiety phase.

If I were you, unless your son is naturally very gregarious and sociable and not anxious about separation from you, I would wait till September and then see how much he has changed in the last 6 months and how much more ready he will be by then.

Good luck

mumteedum Wed 30-Apr-14 21:50:53

Ds has been in nursery and childcare off and on due to my work which is part time temporary contracts. His nursery is great and has really helped him in his confidence with other kids.

I do think a really gradual transition is good. They run stay and play sessions for free each week. We went to these for few weeks before I had to leave him and he's been really happy. My friend doesn't work and her ds has only really known mine till now but she's also started him for just couple hours a week.

If you don't find anywhere you like and don't need childcare, maybe just go to lots play groups and playparks? Ds had great time playing with some kids he just met today at play area where walk dog. I agree they play alongside each other rather than with each other until nearer 3 yr old.

RiverTam Wed 30-Apr-14 21:57:54

DD started nursery at just gone 2 and has thrived. She did 9-4 and 9-6 (with a gradual settling in period over a couple of weeks). She had been at home with me up till then (being a SAHM is not my forte AT ALL) and was quite a reserved little thing, but she blossomed and flourished. And I got to do some work, thank goodness. She's been there over 2 years now.

It is an outstanding nursery though, with properly qualified staff. If you do decide to go down the nursery route do check them out thoroughly (or go with personal recommendations) - I know some can have very young, unqualified, girls really, working in them.

I feel very confident about her settling in well when she starts school in September.

Jaffakake Wed 30-Apr-14 22:00:14

My ds has been at nursery 4 days since he was 10 months, so I can't advise on how they adapt at going for the first time at 2.

I can say that he has a best friend and other friends he likes playing with. One girl gives him a kiss every morning when we drop him off. In the car ride home he tells us about the soap opera that is his class, that Ben pushed him, so thomas (his bestie) pushed Ben, or that Oliver was naughty today or that Tim wears at shirt like that etc. he gets so much interaction that as an only child he wouldn't get otherwise.

He has learnt loads of social skills. He knows he gets things quicker if he says please, thank you etc.

I agree with pp, it depends on the child, mine is confident & naturally socially smart so his busy nursery really suits his nature. He's also the oldest in his class. A more shy child may find it a different experience. You're his mum, you know him best. Visit a nursery/pre school & you'll soon get a gut feeling about it.

Chocolatestain Wed 30-Apr-14 22:26:03

I think it depends very much on the child. DS started nursery two mornings a week at 14 months - partly because I needed some time to keep my business ticking over (I'm self employed), but also because he's very outgoing and energetic and gets bored quickly at home. He absolutely loves it and I feel is really benefitting. However, this is largely because it suits his personality. If he was a more shy and less confident child I think I might have waited til he was older.

I wouldn't try and push your DS to do something he's not ready for as it will undermine his confidence rather than build it.

wortleberry Thu 01-May-14 18:36:05

My daughter went to daycare for 2 days a week aged 1, and now is in a nursery for 2 to 3 year olds, 5 mornings a week. I do think some children cope with it well, others don't. But with my daughter - although she separates fine and seems happy to go to nursery, I am concerned about her social development. She is very territorial over her space, gets over emotional over small things (trips, bumps, and falls) and can be quite feisty/mean towards others. I've decided to stop school next term and just spend some time with her, supporting her with social interactions. I think she, and some other members of her class are not yet ready for school, sharing, being away from mummy - and show negative behaviour because of this. The signs to me were not immediately obvious - I'm hoping I haven't left this too late! Although on the plus side, I observed her today greeting a little boy in a soft play, asking him lots of questions, and playing with him beautifully...
My other concern is that her care workers, although I get negative vibes, and occasional vague comments - they have never really told me directly of any problems.

MummyV18 Sat 10-May-14 17:46:44

I put my DS in nursery at 1 year old for 2 days a week when I went back to work.
I didnt like the idea of it but no other choice. I think it was the best thing though as DS is 2 next month and he's loving it smile he doesn't play with other children yet as he's still too young but it's brought on his independence and social skills.
He plays so nicely alongside other kids (takes his turn, doesn't take others toys etc) and he gets to do things we can't do as easily at home (messy play for one lol)
I suppose it does depend on the child but they all have to go to school at some point I think it help ease them in smile

GoogleyEyes Sat 10-May-14 17:59:25

I would go with nearer 2.5, as they get a lot more language by then and can tell you a bit more what's going on and if they don't like it. I'd use the next few months to look around some local nurseries / preschools to see which might suit your child.

I thought I would go for an outstanding day nursery, but actually the slightly shabby Montessori preschool was the calm, mixed age, high ratio environment that suited dd1.

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