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nearly 5 year old pushing boundaries ... going nuts!

(3 Posts)
mammothlala Tue 01-Apr-14 15:26:46

Hoping for some advice
5 year old DD to be 5 in 3 days time, party coming up at the weekend is just driving us (me particularly - because I see more of her) up the wall since last weekend.
She has a cold so initially thought terrible behaviour was due to feeling poorly and not herself. She's never been a great one for saying please/thank you but normally makes an effort when reminded. Since the weekend we've had tantrums after tantrums over small things like sitting properly at the table, not trying to order me round, food, tidying things etc ... When asked to do sth she will choose to not do it, look me in the eye and flatly refuse. For eg earlier she put some Lego on the floor and then left the room without playing with it. I asked her to put it away and she just walked off without doing so. At lunch time I asked her to choose between 2 types of vegetables. She chose one type only to have a meltdown later saying it wasn't the one she wanted.
She's generally lovely but for past 4 days she behaves like she thinks we should just do her bidding all the time and behaves rudely, refuses to do anything we ask her to and she is also extremely attention-seeking. In the past she did go through similar phases but it has been a long long time. I think she may well be excited about birthday/party but she is so bad that it's taken me by surprise and I feel exhausted by all the arguing (and it's only been 4 days of this?!) and it feels like all I'm saying at the moment is negative. I'm thinking of starting a star chart again... Would that work with a 5 year old? Any other ideas?

LizzieMint Wed 02-Apr-14 14:41:53

It does sound like it could be the combination of coming down with something/feeling under the weather plus the party.
What are you doing when she ignores you/ has a tantrum?
A sticker chart certainly still works for my kids (7,6 and 3) but sometimes if the oldest one is being particularly foul (and it is always the oldest one!) I send her to her room until she's ready to
be civil again.
Good luck, I'm sure it won't last but you do have my sympathy!

ZuleikaD Wed 02-Apr-14 16:05:58

Oh yes, you should definitely keep up a reward system. We have marbles in the jar for nearly-5 DD - they go in if she does the things she's supposed to do (eg staying in her room till her clock wakes up, getting herself dressed) and if she does something extra like tidying up spontaneously. They can also come out for bad behaviour (eg she lost one yesterday for fooling around while we were crossing the road). When the jar is full she gets to choose a new book or DVD, something like that. She can see the level going up and down. and on the odd occasion she has lost the whole jarful (flushing her little brother's favourite toy down the toilet, so the marbles went to pay for a new one). It's really useful.

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