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Possible ODD or just badly behaved?

(3 Posts)
binkymum1 Tue 01-Apr-14 09:02:04

Hello
Is anyone able to offer me any advice? Thanks in advance...

Daughter is 9 and for the last couple of years have had problems with anger and anxiety.. DH has has depression previously on and off and daughter became very anxious two years ago after having a health scare.

At school she is doing ok but frequently falls out with girls and has started falling behind. Her teacher has started to notice her disruptive and sometimes rude behaviour and she sees a learning mentor 1:1 to talk about her feelings on my request

However it's at home that I really struggle.. She is prone to flipping

binkymum1 Tue 01-Apr-14 09:08:36

Sorry I went on too long... Continues...

She flips out, hurts her sister and generally refuses to do what she's asked.. She threatens to jump out of windows, fall down stairs although never does.

We have constant battles and she doesn't seem to care anymore if I cry or she upsets her dad! Her homework rarely has any pride in it and I usually ask her why she doesn't try!

Most mornings start like this and then my dad gets involved when he takes them to school. She refuses to get dressed for school or pack her bag and most mornings are so stressful before I even leave myself! I dread afternoons and evenings when I need to get her to read or do homework etc!!
Help!!! Thank you !

LondonForTheWeekend Tue 01-Apr-14 10:32:45

In a way it doesn't matter whether she has ODD or not, because I think the way you 'manage' her to improve the situation will be the same regardless: i.e. Loving and calm but unmoveable boundaries.

You must always be calm: absolutely no more tears, and you must always be unmistakeably in charge, so no getting your Dad subbing for you when it gets tough. Your husband must be the same.

If she refuses to get dressed just be nonchalant "Oh that's nice Dear, I'll put them in Grandads car for you". Repeat that you won't argue with her, but that you are in charge, as nauseum.

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