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Number 2

(3 Posts)
slightlyconfused85 Mon 31-Mar-14 13:34:59

I have a lovely DD almost 17mo. She was a surprise for me and DP and we both enjoy and love her very much. I thought I always wanted a second, and DP and I have discussed ttc in the summer coming up, as he is keen for an age gap not too large.

I suddenly feel terrified about this. I want to have a second child as I don't want DD to be an only, and we always discussed having 2 but suddenly I feel scared of messing up our lives and becoming unhappy. We cope financially with just her, but another might be pushing it and I don't want to argue about money. Our relationship has remained good, we both look after, both work and share in the household chores (mostly!!). We occassionally get a night off and a lie in together as my mum will look after overnight once or twice a month. With two, this would be too much for her. I really value this break and time with DP.

I suppose I'm just looking for someone to tell me that having 2 was a good decision for them, and didn't make everything bad! I read several threads on here about how hard people are finding a little one and a baby and I just am scared about it seeming like a good idea but actually being a bad one and we'd be better off staying as 3.

hotcrosshunny Mon 31-Mar-14 14:30:02

The thing is the baby stage is such a short phase that I wouldn't use that to sway when you have another one.

It is hard but second time around I knew it wouldn't be forever and it was easier to live with as I looked at my older one.

Mine are 4&2 and are truely wonderful together. Yes they fight but I fought with my siblings and live them fiercely so the fighting doesn't bother me. We also played together well as do my two.

NorthEasterlyGale Mon 31-Mar-14 20:38:13

I have DS1 (nearly 22 months) and DS2 (5 weeks today). Having DS2 has been fabulous - honestly.

I had undiagnosed PND after DS1 and he was a very difficult baby. DS2 (so far) seems to be a 'textbook' baby and I feel like a different person; happier than I have at any time since before DS1 was born. They are both fabulous and I am so, so happy that we had DS2. I love them both so much.

DH and I job share so we both work part-time and both care of the boys. Financially, we do okay - no holidays abroad but we pootle along nicely and there hasn't been much impact of having DS2 as we've still got most of DS1's stuff and are reusing it; although we are shopping for a bigger car grin

We don't have any family close so don't usually get any breaks really, although my parents did visit for a few days when DS2 was born (c section, as was DS1) to look after DS1 for us, and a couple of days since, to help out. I'm a bit nervous of coping with both of them out and about on my own in case DS1 decides to leg it somewhere, but I'm sure I'll cope grin

When DH took DS2 to baby clinic to be weighed when he was three weeks old, DS1 kept looking in the crib and saying 'brother...gone'. It was so cute!

Honestly, life is fab; having two is great!

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