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Can't get 2 minutes alone!

(3 Posts)
LouaLou12 Sat 29-Mar-14 16:41:27

Hi everyone

I have two DCs, son just turned 6, and DD will be 4 in April. DS is very mature for his age, extremely independent (very loving! But is happy in his own company etc.) He's very calm and collected and quite a conscientious little thing. DD could not be more different. She's a very kind girl (example she got very upset at nursery school when 2 other girls were trying to kill a spider. Her teacher told me she immediately rushed over to try and save the little critter.) But she seriously cannot leave my side for 2 minutes! It took her ages to settle in at nursery school and only very recently has stopped crying when I drop her off.
Last night I told DH I was going upstairs for a bath. 5 minutes later I can hear her screaming for me from her bedroom and no sooner, she was banging on the bathroom door crying her eyes out wanting to be let in. DH tried to calm her down and I could hear him trying to cheer her up but she wasn't having any of it. This happens almost every time I am in the bathroom, even if it's to just clean my teeth.

I childmind in the afternoons, and she is SO incredibly jealous of the other children when I give them any attention. As I said she is a kind girl and has no problem making friends at nursery school. She always plays well with other children, unless I am around and giving them attention. I look after my friend's son who is a few months younger than her and I've caught her a couple of times smacking him. He's quite a timid little thing so I try to give him as much affection as I can but she absolutely resents him for it. She also took another little girl (who I look after 3 days a week) doll while she in the bathroom and refused to tell me where she had hidden it. It seems she just hates anyone else getting any affection from me. Oddly enough she does not react like this with her brother. She can get a little jealous but not as much as with other children.

So it's 2 issues here: first is how upset she gets if I am not around. She's been like it since she was tiny, she would just cry and cry when I left her and now I can barely turn my back without her wailing. And secondly, the problem she has with me giving attention to other children. I would love a third child but am really really worried that she will treat them horribly. I just don't know how I can solve this issue. I'm at a stage where I don't want her friends from nursery school to come round to our house because I fear that me being around them and giving them attention will upset her and she will end up crying and getting jealous and losing her friends! Whenever I pick her up from friend's houses I'm always told by the parents that she has behaved beautifully and they've had a lovely time but I'm sure that would not be the case if the friends were round at my house.

hotcrosshunny Sat 29-Mar-14 19:14:07

How much attention do you give her?

AuditAngel Sat 29-Mar-14 19:25:43

Well, I would say you are doing a great job as she is well behaved at nursery and at friends houses. So you know that she knows what is expected of her!

I have 3 DC, DS is now 9 and I would describe him as being an older version of your DS.

DD1 was 7 on Thursday, she can be quite needy, but has improved with age. DD2 is 3 and can be very mean to DD1 and is a biter.

Try to give your DD good quality attention, try to praise the good behaviour to reinforce it.

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