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How my 4 yr old has dreadful separation anxiety day and night

(4 Posts)
Surfsalot Fri 28-Mar-14 12:44:42

My little girl has had severe separation anxiety from the moment she started nursery at 1 yr. she is now 4 and still like this-so when she is at Playgroup, nursery or left with my parents when I have to go to work. I have done the cheery mummy loves you, quick kiss and wave and have been doing that for YEARS!! But she is still doing it! I am a single mum now( within the last few weeks) and she is as you would expect worse than ever... I don't know what to do to help her/ when this is going to phase out... She starts school in sept and I am worried she is going to get picked on as she is so upset and clingy when I have to leave .... She says she misses me when I am at work and she begs me not to go every morning.
As soon as she sees me in my uniform she is hysterical.... She has been dreadful at sleeping and is on melatonin to help... But now that isn't working and I think she has separation anxiety at night...
Have tried sharing bed etc but she fidgets and so that has had to stop - but have now had weeks of strict taking back to bedroom, no talking, eye contact etc every time she walks into my room- she can be awake for up to 4 hours! Please help someone as I am exhausted beyond belief and finding everything really hard.

LastingLight Fri 28-Mar-14 17:00:06

That sounds dreadful for both of you Surfsalot. Try chamomile tea, that helped my dd to sleep when she went through a bad patch and melatonin wasn't working. Can dd sleep on a mattress on the floor in your room?

How long does it take her to settle after you leave her?

TheGreatHunt Fri 28-Mar-14 19:43:31

Well I'm guessing home life hasn't been that settled especially as you're now a single mum?

My ds is 4 and is like this - made worse when he's tired. If she isn't sleeping well then that will contribute.

What about sleeping in the same room but different beds? At that age I had crippling nightmares but didn't tell anyone.

My ds hates me going to work - again I have been for years. He's much better when he's well rested and knows what day it is and what his routine is. Can you have a chart up with each day and a picture so she knows what to expect? Does she have a routine when you're at work?

JuliaScurr Fri 28-Mar-14 20:27:07

www.youngminds.org.uk/contact?gclid=CKy05tnsrb0CFZShtAod-HMAXg

they were very helpful to us and to friends

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