We have two young boys DS1 (2.5yrs) and DS2 (just 1yr). They are both sunny personalities, though DS1 is a sensitive soul (frightened of the low-flying aircraft over the house, takes jokes literally, hugs gravestones to 'stop them being sad'). DS1 was only 17 mths when DS2 was born but no overt signs of jealousy, in fact he looks out for his younger brother and enjoys giving him toys and hugging him. I am a SAHM plus we live adjacent to my parents and their father works close by so sees them each morning and evening.
Problem is DS1 is getting increasingly needy for me. During the day this isn't such a problem - lots of cuddles but no real issues. The evening bath and bedtime routine however can only be done by me - clothes off, into bath, clothes back on, book, bed etc. Any attempt by DH results in complete meltdown (unless promises that I am on my way to see him in a minute). This is getting worse each day and now he refuses even to be in the bath with his brother. If he wakes in the night he will ONLY accept me to settle him - again an unholy meltdown if DH tries.
We've tried to be calm and chilled about it all - avoiding making a big issue etc, but it is getting worse, not better. I'm fed up as I'd like to be able to go out without leaving DH with a battle, I'd like to put DS2 down sometimes (and I'm aware he needs me too), and the night wakings are dreadful given I'm also seeing to his little brother.
We used to take it in turns putting the boys to bed, which was fine until DS1 turned 2, or thereabouts.
What are we doing wrong? How can we help both boys feel secure and equally loved, and prize DS1 away from me during the evening/night?
Any ideas would be gratefully received - it's getting us down.
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'I NEED MUUUUMMMMMYYYY' Two DSs, one mum. Help!
7 replies
tiddleypompom · 25/03/2014 19:57
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