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Now my twins are nearly 2, what do we have to look forward to this year?

(15 Posts)
toomuchtooold Mon 24-Mar-14 06:44:56

Just that really - my DTs are coming up for 2 and I realise that I've developed an allergy to parenting books so I have a very vague idea of what developmental milestones are coming up this year.
What would you say the highlights of the year from age 2 to 3 were?

Bumpsadaisie Mon 24-Mar-14 12:35:51

I notice you use the phrase "look forward to" in connection with the "twos". Is this a typo?

Ha ha joking aside, the twos are lovely because:

- they can talk much more, which is very cute and entertaining
- you no longer have to spend every second worrying about their physical safety, you can get rid of stair gates and cots and let them have a proper bed and roam around
- they might happily sit and play for longer periods on their own
- only one more year till free childcare for 15 hrs
- they will probably potty train, which once done means no more pooey nappies Hallelujah!
- if they don't yet sleep well they will probably start sleeping better as they drop a nap
- at two they don't really understand enough to do as they are told. But they are en route to learning it. My DS is 2.5 now and in the last few months has learned to change his behaviour if I tell him no and that he will have to go and sit on the stairs if he continues. At 2, he would just have giggled.

The twos are awful because:

- potty training is a faff
- they will be getting ready to drop a nap in the pm
- two year olds are on a collision course with you. By the time they are 2.5 you will get the constant "no" to every suggestion you make combined with tears every time anything goes the slightest bit wrong. You will need to wake up 30 mins earlier in the morning to factor in the time it takes to deal with persuading a toddler to get dressed and eat breakfast, and deal with the emotional roller coaster ride that accompanies it grin
- they will probably start using food or table manners as one of their little battlegrounds

My top tips are:

- parenting a toddler is all about balance. They are looking where the boundaries are, so you need to set some and refuse to allow your toddler to push those boundaries over. On the other hand, if you totally squash all the independence and life out of your toddler by being totally over the top and authoritarian about every little thing, you are going to have a very miserable time of it.

-My rule of thumb has been to come down like a ton of bricks on anything that is dangerous rude or antisocial. So, hitting his elder sister, chucking his food around, not listening to me re: road safety.

But on the other hand (generally speaking) I try to facilitate my DS when he wants to do something that is merely inconvenient for me (e.g. the constant requests to help, to climb in his car seat by himself and so on). Hopefully that way he is getting a balance of being allowed to express his agency and feel that he can influence and control his environment, but also he knows where the boundaries are and I'm firm with them. He's a toddler so I have to expect that getting dressed is going to take a LONG time as he will want to "do it mine self". Its not fair to expect a toddler to just sit quietly and get dressed in three minutes, merely cos you have got the school run coming up and your elder one needs to be on time. Much better to get up early and allow the toddler 15 mins. You can avoid a lot of angst and tantrums this way. Of course I don't always manage to organise it so it works out like this. But its my ideal.

- offer (a small number of) choices. This way they feel like they are in control.

- if they want to do something they want it REALLY badly. I mean really. Consider letting them do it if you can. Eg if he wants odd socks on, does it really matter, do you really need to insist he puts a correct pair on? This kind of thing I would humour the toddler on, and save the confrontations for the biggies.

Good luck.

AryaOfHouseSnark Mon 24-Mar-14 12:51:01

<hollow laugh >
Well let's see, I think between 2 and 3 you really start to get more from them. I used to feel quite lonely looking after my Dts all day when they were babies, but as they talk more, you actually get some companionship from them too.
They will probably have all their teeth, so You won't have to worry about teething anymore.[whoop]
You can start to look at ditching the pushchair.
Days out are easier as they will be able to keep going for longer.
It's all good fun really, different challenges, different day.

Bumpsadaisie Mon 24-Mar-14 13:02:28

arya Good point about the teeth. Thank god all that is over! grin

Slebmum Mon 24-Mar-14 16:13:43

Mine are 2.8 now and this stage is soooo much better than baby to 2. They can communicate properly, play with each other, they sleep - they're proper little people and I find it fascinating to watch their independence develop. Potty training to be attempted soon - not looking forward to that bit.

In terms of actual milestones I'm not really sure what they're meant to be doing, they seem I be doing ok so just going with it!

Bonsoir Mon 24-Mar-14 16:27:38

This is a great age - they talk a lot more and gradually start engaging with the wider world independently. Their motor skills are developing fast and they really enjoy parks and playgrounds - merry-go-rounds, climbing frames, pony rides...

AryaOfHouseSnark Mon 24-Mar-14 16:58:40

Actually I found potty training them ok. We left it till they were 3 and it only took a few days. They learnt a lot from each other, and still do. My 2 are 3 now and they actually do entertain each other when they are not fighting

Lovage Tue 25-Mar-14 20:54:16

2-3 is great! My favourite age. They are so responsive and interested in everything. And they toddle around so cutely and start talking so much more. Their personalities get so clear around that kind of age. I love this age and am really sorry my hulking great 5 and 7 yr old are past it (although once they can play computer games on their own for hours, that's fab).

Batmam Tue 25-Mar-14 21:00:23

Great post Bumpsadaisie!

toomuchtooold Wed 26-Mar-14 17:21:12

Thanks everyone! Twin mums, am I right in thinking the terrible twos are a bit less daunting for us? My two are getting harder to please, but also less reliant on me at about the same rate so actually things are getting easier day to day. Even if I have to remember to only buy them clothes with animals/stars/butterflies on them, let them wear wellies to nursery etc etc...

neversleepagain Wed 26-Mar-14 19:29:21

Good post Bumpsadasie smile

Mine are 18 months old and I am looking forward to them turning two.

rednellie Mon 31-Mar-14 13:51:01

Arya how have you managed to ditch the buggy with twins? I've got a 4 DS who still flakes out on walks and my dts are just 2. I'd love to ditch it but if we went out without and they all had fit there's no way I could get them all home. I'd love any tips.

Sorry for the hijack!

AryaOfHouseSnark Mon 31-Mar-14 13:56:57

red Dts are my only 2, so it was a lot easier. We just started with small journeys and I bribed motivated them with a biscuit or a hot chocolate when we got home.
If I were you I would just carry on with the pushchair for long journeys. Or maybe a single with a buggy board and they can take it in turns ?

rednellie Mon 31-Mar-14 21:14:48

Thanks Arya. I hadn't even thought about changing to a single...might be an idea as then DS would have no option but to walk. hmmm possibilities.

AryaOfHouseSnark Mon 31-Mar-14 21:45:55

Although, if they're anything like mine, they will all fight over who gets to go on the buggy board.

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