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2 year old plays mum up

(8 Posts)
charliechalk08 Sun 23-Mar-14 15:29:35

My DS is just over 2. Whenever I take him out to the shops or play group he has a tantrum and lies on the floor screaming. Take for example.. I went shopping yesterday and he didn't want to go the way I was going (walking) so he lay on the floor and screamed NO! In the end I had to pick him up and carry him until he calmed down. I then went to the supermarket and he spotted something he liked.. I asked him to come with me and again another tantrum. I had to carry him under one arm with him kicking and screaming until we got to the car where I had to physically hold him in his car seat to put his straps on. The odd thing about this is, he only ever behaves like this when he's with me. When his grandparents look after him, he is well behaved! What am I doing wrong?!

LastingLight Sun 23-Mar-14 15:55:57

You're not doing anything wrong, this is what a 2 year old does. He feels most secure with you so it is with you that he pushes against the boundaries. Good luck, this too shall pass!

cravingcake Sun 23-Mar-14 19:44:19

Doing nothing wrong, its a fairly normal toddler thing. My DS was getting everything he ever wanted for a while (was heavily pregnant and had spd so didnt have a lot of energy or mobility). Now DD is almost 9 weeks old my DS has learnt that i now have the energy to carry out a threat (no tv unless you eat dinner at table as example).

I've found giving my DS 2 options seems to help, for example when out walking he has the option of walking and holding my hand or standing on the buggy board. He chooses but either is a safe option. Best to practice this near home (walk to the park or somewhere that doesnt matter and you have time). Simply stop walking and wait until they choose, remind them of the options and dont give in. Easier said than done but after a couple of times they quickly learn.

Its bloody hard work, and theres no easy answer. But this too will pass.

Jaffakake Sun 23-Mar-14 19:58:20

I agree he feels secure with you & that's why he pushes the boundaries.

Distraction is your best friend. When you get there before you go in have a chat & set boundaries. "You can come out of the trolley if you listen to me. If you don't listen you're in the trolley"
Then get them to help you all the way round & keep them focused " I need some help. Can you tell me when you see some xyz?" "Well done, that's great, you're so smart. Now what do we need next? Can you spot some 123?"
It's hard work, but it works. Eventually they want to get in the trolley for a snack & a rest!

Jaffakake Sun 23-Mar-14 19:59:41

Oh, & when we're out and about he has the choice, walk or buggy. It's that simple.

But they're 2 & they do kick off no matter how hard you try!

SilkStalkings Sun 23-Mar-14 20:01:20

It's a compliment sort of. He trusts you so implicitly he feels safe enough to let all his emotions hang out and you won't abandon him for being a small, bewildered human. Nobody else can offer that. He knows he has to try harder to be perfect child with other people.

Doctorbrownbear Sun 23-Mar-14 21:10:03

There are certain times and placed where I will not take my 2 year old unless she is restrained in her buggy or in a trolley, one of these places is the supermarket or any other shop. Maybe you should take him in his pushchair next time?

charliechalk08 Mon 24-Mar-14 09:40:34

I'm glad I'm not doing anything wrong. Doctorbrownbear, I try to keep him in his pushchair as long as possible when we go out but he moans and tries to wriggle free and says 'walking' so I get him out. I do say to him before he gets out his pushchair that he's not to cry which last for a little while then it all kicks off!

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