Potty training - is my son ready?

[Nutgirl]

Sorry, I know there's probably a lot of threads on this subject but I just wanted some advice. My son is 2 and a half and we have started potty training today. I work Mon - Weds so am going to do Thurs - Sun at home and was hoping that by the time he went to nursery on Monday he'd be getting there. I feel like I have been putting it off for ages and as I'm pregnant I want to get him trained now so that we have time for him to get used to it and we hopefully won't have regression when they baby comes.

I know it's only day 1 so can't expect miracles, but this morning has been terrible. We've got through about 10 pairs of pants and he just seems to have no awareness of when he needs a wee - he is literally dribbling wee every 20 mins or so (and he hasn't drank that much). He's done about 4 wees on the potty and about 10 in his pants / on the floor. He's also done a poo in his pants.

I've been really encouraging but my worry is that he's getting really upset by the accidents. When I told him this morning he was going to wear pants he didn't want to and argued that he wanted to wear a nappy. I won the argument and got him in pants but it's been an awful morning with a lot of tears. I feel like I'm bullying him into it and maybe he's not ready.

He may not be ready, but I worry that if I give up now and try again in a few months then he'll remember how much he hated it this time round and will be even more resistant to it then.

Should I persevere for now? What do people think?

Thanks in advance!

[schmalex]

I'm not an expert but it sounds to me like he's not ready.

[schmalex]

Does he usually tell you when he wants to go or has been?

[cheekyfunkymonkey]

Sounds like he isn't ready yet. Put him back in nappies and try again in another few months.

[brettgirl2]

Have you talked about it with nursery? Mine were offering to start on my 2.2 year old a couple of weeks ago (I am definitely not ready to have her out of nappies! ) They can encourage him to go to the toilet with the other children in prep for taking nappies off. It's much easier for them as they are there all day. I work the same pattern as you and will be starting on a Sunday, then hopefully she'll be getting it before my days off!

He doesn't sound ready for pants to me btw.

[TinyTear]

when is the sibling due? i heard you shouldn't do it too close before or after a new baby or they will think the baby is replacing them

[rrreow]

We tried around Christmastime with DS at 2y7mo. It was as you described. Would go on the potty and do a wee, but absolutely no awareness of needing a wee or even doing a week. We'd basically have to take him every 20 minutes, which to me wasn't really potty training, but more like parent training!

Tried again last week (he will be 3 in May) and he's getting it much better now. Still quite a few accidents the first few days, but a definite improvement as the days go on. So when it works, you can definitely tell. When it feels like an impossible task he's probably just not ready!

Good luck. I know the peer pressure can be horrendous but he'll do it when he's ready.

[rrreow]

Doing a wee that should read, not week.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

If he doesn't seem to be aware of having a wee then I would say he isn't ready.

IME it goes a lot easier if you wait until they can tell you they are about to do a wee or they have just done one because it means it's easier to make the connection between that and the potty IYSWIM.

If you try and do it before they are ready because you think it's time, you spend 3 weeks cleaning up mess and never leaving the house before you give up and put the nappy back on [bitter experience emoticon]

[CecilyP]

I wouldn't persevere; I tried with DS at 2.4, failed completely, gave up after a week and put him back in nappies for a month then tried again - resounding success! Didn't do anything different - he was just ready by then.

When you say he managed 4 wees in the potty, did he ask for the potty when he needed to go, or was it sheer fluke? If the latter, he is not ready.

Have you tried leaving nappy and pants off completely? Before he was potty trained, DS was able to use his potty with no difficulty if he wasn't wearing clothes - this does give you an idea of roughly how often they need to wee at this age - very often!

[Nutgirl]

Thanks for all your replies. The afternoon was much better with fewer accidents and more wees in the potty. On a couple of occasions he told me he needed a wee and ran over to the potty (even if he had already started to wee he was able to stop and wait till he got there to finish) which shows he is starting to make that connection. Most importantly, he didn't get upset when he had accidents which was my real fear. He obviously needed a poo at about 5pm and sat on the potty for 10 mins trying but didn't have one. Am thinking he will have one in his nappy in the morning when he wakes up. Was pleased that he tried though.

Brettgirl2 nursery have been great and have been putting him on the potty for the odd wee here and there for ages (as have we - he always does a wee in the potty before bath time) and so I thought he was ready. Am feeling more encouraged by this afternoon so think we will carry on tomorrow, but I also feel more confident having had your replies that it's not the end of the world if we do decide to go back to nappies and carry on again in a month or so.

TinyTear I'm only 9 weeks so very early days, so feels better to do it earlier in my pregnancy rather than wait until I'm closed to due date for the reasons you point out.