It's all gone Pete 'Toddler'Tong - please help

[DrPM]

Over the last 3-4 weeks my 15 mth old has stopped eating with a spoon and closes his mouth when you try and use a spoon to feed him. He has stopped eating loads of the foods he usually eats, and the majority of the time he will either have no food or wants BF. He will not nap, he doesn't even look tired, and then at random times (anywhere from 10am - 4pm) will BF and fall asleep. He wants BF to sleep at bedtime with hysterics if put down drowsy. He is waking at night between 1-3 times, at all random times, again hysterics if DH goes in. When BF he is hanging on for dear life but swinging legs around. I'm suspecting teething but can't see any sign of them, he currently has 6 teeth. I have completely lost our routine, I don't know what to do. Can anybody please help, I'm just so anxious and tired I can't think straight

[NorthEasterlyGale]

Sounds like teething to me - maybe with some nightmares / growing pains / sleep regression / developmental stage thrown in for good measure!

How many naps does he usually have - is he transitioning from two to one at all?

Does Calpol or Calprofen help at all?

Have had similar phases with DS1 so appreciate how draining it is and so frustrating not to know what's wrong and how to fix it - keep repeating 'this too shall pass'.

[DrPM]

Thanks North I know its prob all those things but I'm getting a bit panicked that it's never going to change. DC1 didn't sleep through until well after 3y and so I haven't had an unbroken nights sleep for 3.5y. I'm prob feeling rather sorry for myself. Also many family comments about 'rod for own back by BF' and 'getting into habit of waking for BF'. They may be right but I'm too tired to change it.
He has only had 1 nap since 12mths not helped by pre school pick up at 11.30. Pain meds seem to make little difference. I just need to figure out a routine that works, but having a tired pre schooler is making it tricky, as DC1 doesn't want to go out for buggy walk so DC2 can nap, and DC2 loves playing with his brother so won't nap. I'm making excuses and can hear my DM saying 'who is the adult here?'. I have no family near to give me a break and haven't had a day off since 2010, Pulls on hair shirt and flogs self with self pity stick ;)

[YokoUhOh]

DS 16mo is going through exactly thesame, sleep-wise. We co-sleep but he's been on the boob constantly since midnight :( I don't know when it gets better, either :(

Don't listen to your mum, unless she's prepared to help you out for a few nights, she can take a running jump.

Food-wise, I just give DS a plate of whatever we're having and he either eats it or doesn't; I figure he's going to get what he needs over the course of a week.

Hang in there; there are loads of us going through the same thing :)

[minipie]

DD is 16 months and also teething. Eating ok in the day, mostly (she has always loved her food though) but she is waking 1-3 times a night and up early in the morning too, despite late bedtime.

She has not been BF since about 11 months so that's completely irrelevant IMO. Except it does mean DH can do some of it at least.

Nurofen helps somewhat at night. Bickiepegs are popular in the daytime.

this too shall pass

[mummyxtwo]

Hang in there! Between 1 and 2 years of age is a very common time for food fussiness, even in a lo who ate a big variety of food previously. The vast majority of them come out the other side of their fussy phase prepared to eat and try new things again, as if their insistence to live off nothing but yoghurt and toast for a while never happened. Try to see it as that and not how things are going to be forever. Just keep giving a variety of foods and if he doesn't eat it, just take it away without looking stressed or cross. My dd2 started refusing to be spoonfed at a similar age but if I gave her the spoon she would have a go at digging in. Most of it went everywhere apart from in her mouth at first but at 17mo she is now managing to eat most of her dinners. Try more finger foods - breadsticks, cubes of cheese, pasta in a variety of sauces, muffins with melted cheese, cucumber pieces - and perhaps he'd prefer to just pick at a few things by himself. Dd2 will randomly go off food that she previously loved - raspberries for eg - and refuse to touch it for weeks. I kept putting some raspberries on her tray and she is happily eating them again now. Who knows what is going on in little minds. Try not to worry if he isn't eating much in the way of solids. It's more important that food doesn't become a source of stress to him, such as you getting upset and trying to make him eat, which I know is tempting. My ds1 had severe feeding problems as a baby and is still a very fussy eater at 5yo. At 15mo he wasn't even weaned - yes he's fussy now, which is due to his prior medical problems, but not eating solids didn't do him harm physically at that age, other than being thin. Don't assume your ds is going to be a fussy eater - he might hoover up everything in sight before he's 2yo. Just try to stay calm and ride it out. All the best.

[PeterParkerSays]

Has he been around anyone with chicknpox? That might be another option if it's i his nouth.

If he's not otherwise unwell though, I'd say teeth over pox.

[DrPM]

Yoko thanks for your support. I think my main concern is that he won't settle without BF and I have ended up creating a sleep association I'm too tired to deal with IYSWIM. He has eaten a little better today but fed to sleep as only had 30min nap and was exhausted. He has now woken up 4h later for another feed, which seems to be an emerging pattern.

Minipie I'm sure it's teething but I can't see anything so wonder if suddenly loads will pop through together. Out of interest how did you stop BF? I'am seriously thinking about stopping but it seems a bit 'wrong' if teething as it's an
obvious comfort for him.

Mummy I'm trying to not get too uptight about it and it is difficult. I will keep offering different foods, and definately try more finger foods, perhaps a spoon is uncomfortable if it is teething.

Peter no pox going round that I know of so think it prob is teething.

[NorthEasterlyGale]

It's so hard when you're so tired. I can really empathise as sleep deprivation the first time round had me hallucinating at one point it was so bad; but DS1 did pretty much just scream for months and clearly thought sleep was for the weak! Fortunately, 3 week old DS2 seems a bit more accommodating so far.

I BF DS1 on demand (once he got the hang of it; BF did not come naturally to either of us!) and he too had a sleep association and loved to feed to sleep. He too woke for feeds in the night until well after 12 months old (although not every night) and sometimes when he woke I just wanted to scream and weep as I was so tired - found repeating Buddhist chants in my head kept me sane and stopped me focussing on how much I wished he'd just go back to sleep so I could sleep too!

He weaned himself at around 16 months - I was pregnant with DS2 at this point but don't think that was connected to be honest. He gradually dropped the number of nights he wanted a feed and then just stopped. Prior to this, we'd also gone through phases of not being able to put him down drowsy - think he went through some real separation anxiety stages which were responsible for this. they'd last 4 - 6 weeks or so and then I'd be able to pop him down sleep for a while before the next patch of sleep disturbance for whatever reason kicked in.

I think separation anxiety peaks around 12 - 18 months so maybe that's part of it too? Could be waking at night, realising mum's not around and so asks for a feed as the best way he knows of getting close to you for reassurance, so might be more about the comfort than the nutrition or the sleep association at the moment.

What sort of bedtime routine does he have? We found that a lovie and the use of a Ewan the Dreamsheep helps DS1 settle himself.