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Does anyone else's baby cry for more than 16hrs a day?!

(19 Posts)
Poshers Mon 17-Mar-14 16:46:17

I swear to god I actually don't know what to do anymore.

My 4 month old cries for more than 16hrs a day & only stops at night because he sleeps with me (if I dare move he cries!)

Would you just let him cry? I can't keep on holding him, I walk for miles every day in the hope that will work & NO more fucking crying.

HELP before I go insane

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Mon 17-Mar-14 16:47:14

Can you get him checked out in case it is reflux?

minipie Mon 17-Mar-14 16:50:49

Have you spoken to the GP? I too would suspect reflux (silent version if he is not sicky).

SweetLittleBee Mon 17-Mar-14 17:12:55

Oh poor you and poor baby. Definitely get him checked for reflux. My little boy was like this around two months until he was diagnosed and put on meds to help with reflux and it really made a difference. Could he be very overtired too? Will he sleep in a sling or a carrier if he doesn't like the pram? A baby that cries so much is so hard to cope with and makes you feel just awful, doesn't it? Could someone give you a break by taking him for a walk for an hour or holding him a bit? Just to give you a moment to yourself?

Sending you supportive hugs! X

WillSingForCake Mon 17-Mar-14 18:34:32

Has he always been like this, or is it a recent development?

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Mon 17-Mar-14 18:40:52

Another vote for a thorough check for reflux/allergies.


RalphRecklessCardew Mon 17-Mar-14 19:13:07

What everyone else has said.

Also wine
Also, is there any way you can get a break? Even just a few hours here and there?

And more wine

makeminea6x Mon 17-Mar-14 19:18:42

Oh hugs that sounds awful. My first was hard work too - it id dreadful isn't it. She cheered up at about 6 months.
Yy to slings - they'll probably help with reflux symptoms too, keeping her upright. Also just be around other people as much as you can. You might worry about irritating them with the crying - trust me most people are significantly less bothered about your baby crying than you are.
Hope this gets better soon

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Mon 17-Mar-14 19:30:31

This may be interesting if you haven't read it:

Dr Sears high needs babies.

Sending you brew or wine too.

Pocket1 Mon 17-Mar-14 19:51:59

Poor you. Sooooo stressful. I had the same with DD - turned out she was intolerant to my milk and had a sore tummy all the time. Which also caused reflux. Go get checked out and push push push your GP for help - don't settle until things are sorted smile

strawberrie Mon 17-Mar-14 19:59:51

You poor thing, it must be incredibly exhausting for you both. I don't have any personal experience but I know there is an organization called CRYsis who gives support for parents with babies who cry 'excessively'. Please get in touch with them. You are definitely not alone.

Plus as a small anecdote, my DD goes to nursery with a little boy who is sweet, charming, placid and bright - I had a coffee with his mum a couple of weeks ago and it came up in conversation that he was a baby like you describe, apparently he screamed constantly. She said her HV was her saviour in coping. So there is hope :-)

In the meantime I hope you have support IRL.

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 17-Mar-14 20:04:16

Does he stop crying when you pick him up and hold him? Does he cry if you are walking around carrying him or if he is in the car or buggy?
If he really is inconsolable then I agree get him checked by your HV or GP.
Some babies will cry if not held, I know my babies didn't like being put in a moses basket and left, but were happy if I put them in a sling or carried them.

boysathomeonly Mon 17-Mar-14 20:11:43

Feel for you, we struggled unknowingly for couple of months with reflux! Gaviscon sachets, put some books under the head of the cot/ or under the mattress so it's at an angle, sleeping in car seat during the day is fine! Also a good cranium osteopath! Hope it helps!

MrsTowMater Mon 17-Mar-14 20:21:33

Ohh God this is bringing back memories for me! In answer to your question, YES! Both of mine cried whenever they were awake.

DS2 would only sleep on my chest and screamed and cried if I dare move. Nothing soothed him in the day, no amount of rocking, shushing, cuddling, feeding, he just was inconsolable all the time for HOURS and hours.

DS1 was easier to get to sleep at night and he did sleep in his moses basket but he cried all day, every day. I walked around with him in a sling but he hated it after a few minutes, I pushed him in the pushchair, he cried, he hated the car seat, hated being sat on my knee, he just cried and cried and cried. I took him to the doctors, health visitors, cranial osteopath, paediatrician, tried him on reflux medication, dairy free diet. Nothing worked and everyone just said he was a 'fussy' baby. The only thing that soothed him was the be placed up right over my shoulder while I walked back and forth with him, which I did for hours just to get peace but the second I put him down or stopped moving, he started again.

I thought I was doing everything wrong, convinced myself my baby hated me, I got extremely depressed and very isolated.

By the time DS1 could walk at 11 months he was a different child. Still very quick to cry if something didn't go his way, very low threshold for frustration but he certainly wasn't crying 16 hours a day anymore! He's 6 now and really really fantastic. Just such a calm and 'easy' child. Has been since he became a toddler! Everyone else with placid, smiley babies seemed to hit terrible 2s just as we were getting to the good bit!

When I was pregnant with DS2 I remember thinking, well he can't be as bad as DS1 was as a baby...pah! My goodness, he was worse because even walking around with him in any position didn't work. He wouldn't sleep, he just cried for months.

Once again I was back and forth to the health visitors, got referred to paediatrician and even tried dairy free and reflux medication again but once again nothing changed.

Once he could crawl the endless crying diminished but he was still a moaner, basically would just whinge and whimper all day over nothing, no matter what I was doing or how much attention he was getting. Again, once he could walk and particularly once he could talk a bit, the whinging has stopped.

He's just turned 2 now and still very head strong and determined to be into everything his big brother is! But he is just so sweet and funny, really chatty and smiley. Comes running for cuddles and says 'I love you Mummy' 1000 times a day.

My advice would be to pester the doctors, pester the health visitors, whatever it takes to get someone to take you seriously. Make sure every avenue is explored. That way at least you feel like you're doing something and not feeling useless and frustrated. Above all else, know that it will stop. Whether it's frustration at being a baby or real discomfort, I promise you it will stop. You will survive this and one day you'll realise it was totally worth it.

Poshers Mon 17-Mar-14 21:36:25

My gosh! Quite overwhelmed with everyone's support. I'm going to hound GP about reflux.

Yes he does stop crying as soon as I pick him up sad I do love him dearly but Mummy needs her hands free sometimes smile

Thank you again & wonderful to know I am not alone.

I'm a single parent & totally on my own so prob why I am finding it so tough xxxx

DreamingOfAFullNightsSleep Mon 17-Mar-14 21:46:36

My two reflux twins were like this. I nearly lost the plot. My dad ended up paying for help for me two days a week for my sanity. Neither totally typical refluxers though. One settled at 6 months (realised he was dairy intolerant then, adjusted my diet and his, job was a good 'un) the other never settled, was put down to just fussiness/ colic. Diagnosed with reflux at 11 months, finally, finally, changed meds and stopped vomiting in January- he's two in April!!!! He is also dairy, soya and egg intolerant..well, he's currently doing well in an egg challenge, still intolerant for dairy and soya. Hence why I saw no improvement with a dairy free only diet. Both ebf with no family history of allergies.

I'd try reflux meds in case. We did have vast improvement at 15 months when he went up to max doses of domperidone and ranitidine, but then stayed the same. Omeprazole has been the breakthrough for us.

And a sling. I'd have one on my back from 7-8am onwards smile

And it will pass. I thought I had such sad, unhappy children. Actually, they're ace now. And two in April, as I said. Horrible shock too, my pfb was lovely- she's 3.5 now so not like I had time to forget either .

Jorior Wed 19-Mar-14 19:37:07

I have a theory which might see you through: no child is easy for their whole childhood and no child is challenging for their whole childhood. So, see it as your challenging time and the foundation you lay from holding and soothing your baby will result in a secure and less frustrated toddler.

I know it's not easy and I really feel for you because my DS1 was like this. I constantly felt on the cusp of losing the plot. I agree with the others that you need a break and remember that if you go down, you both go down so be good to yourself. Subscribe to Netflix free month trial and work your way through Breaking Bad with your baby in your arms. Once done, you'll be another month closer to the end of the tunnel and you'll be another step closer to meeting the wonderful toddler I predict you'll have xx

atthestrokeoftwelve Wed 19-Mar-14 19:45:05

I think some curious babies get frustrated at their lack of mobility. I know my babies became much happier and more settled once they started to crawl- then they could see something they wanted- a toy ( or the cat's bowl) and take off under their own control and steam.
Before that the loved a playnest for short times, great even when they can't sit up, the circular design means there is no-where to fall to.

Superworm Wed 19-Mar-14 20:28:56

I would rule out dairy/soy allergies and reflux (they can be linked) and see if that helps. A good sling helps too.

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