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I know you shouldn't compare but...

(13 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Sat 15-Mar-14 08:44:04

I have three kids. (3.5,22m girls and a boy who is six weeks)

He seems so much more hard work? I'm not sure if it's because I have less hands, less time and have to deal with all three. I've breastfed all of ten but even that he is so fussy on the breast sometimes. And doesn't seem satisfied with aome feeds. I think it's where he's always just fitting in

littleraysofsunshine Sat 15-Mar-14 09:54:55


littleraysofsunshine Sat 15-Mar-14 10:18:44

He's fussy sooooo much more. Doesn't seem satisfied. I just feel like I'm doing it all wrong and can't cope as well third time round?

kelda Sat 15-Mar-14 10:20:35

I'm not surprised you are finding it hard work with three under four!

With a six week old baby, you must be exhausted.

Are you worried that he isn't feeding well? Is he gaining weight as expected?

RandomMess Sat 15-Mar-14 10:21:21

Perhaps you are too busy rushing around and need to rest more and increase your calorie intake? He may have mild intolerance to some of the foods you are eating or have mild reflux issues making him fuss. Nothing to do with him being a boy!

DangoDays Sat 15-Mar-14 10:30:22

Ah. I struggle with two so first of all well done and congratulations. I think try to hang on in there till 4 months. Our first ds was hard work and then he got past the "4th trimester" and was so much easier. That first bit is just hard any way so regardless it is harder to meet those needs with more demands made on you! Ds2 is now 13 weeks and I feel much better than a few weeks ago. Are there any times of the day where you have guaranteed down time for a good feed?

littleraysofsunshine Sat 15-Mar-14 11:37:04

He usually has a good feed when were back home in the early afternoon.

Being a boy isn't a thing I know just thought I'd mention what I had smile

I do really think it's down to not having enough time to just relax with him like I did with my girls.

Dd1 started preschool in jan when I was heavily pregnant so were always on the go. Out the door by 8:20, back by 9am, out by 11, back by 12, then he has a good feed. Then I'm busy trying to see to all three of them.

I don't eat too well. Hardly any fruit or veg lately. Oven has broken too so we've been snacking in easy meals. I don't drink enough water. I just never fun time to focus on myself.

In the night he gets fussier. But all the time he seems very agitated by his wind. Both ends. It wakes him up and then I think it confuses him that he's hungry but he's just needing comfort.

innisglas Sun 16-Mar-14 01:22:53

Well obviously you know you should eat well, but more than anything you drink lots of liquids.
He should grow out of the windiness by the time he is three months if that is any consolation.

I only ever had one child and now one grandchild so can't give you more practical advice but I really admire you.

MyRealNamesBernard Tue 18-Mar-14 10:23:58

Hello Littleray - congratulations on the birth of your third DC! Your post really struck a chord with me because two years ago my third DC, a boy, was born. My DDs were 3 and 1-and-a-half at the time and I remember having exactly the same feeding problems you describe.

Looking back, the reason the breastfeeding was so hard was because - as I think you have already mentioned - I was constantly on the go. Taking DDs to pre-school, appointments, playdates, shopping trips. The house still needed to be run, food made, washing washed, bills paid, shopping done etc. Poor DC3 just had to fit in, and that meant giving him a feed when I had the time, as opposed to when he asked for it. Often I would rush feeds because I had to 'be somewhere'.... My milk, I think, was also quite 'weak' because I was rushing around and not resting at all.

I ended up getting so stressed that DH and my Mum gently suggested the idea of switching some of the breast feeds to bottle feeds and trying combined feeding. So I gave him a bottle during the mid-morning and mid-afternoon feeds and this really helped. I found he would drink the bottle more quickly, freeing up a bit of time, and other people could feed him too.... which freed up even more time!!

Having three DCs under four is bloody hard work! When I look back at that period (which wasn't that long ago) it was a complete blur. All I can remember was DH and I constantly just toiling away at the coalface. It was relentless.... dealing with feeds, nappies, toddler meals, toddler tantrums... it was a slog. DC3 was also terrible at night due to wind/colic or some such problem, so DH and I were snapping at each other permanently through lack of sleep.

Is there any way you can get any help from friends/family? Can you recruit any grandparents or aunties and uncles to help take some of the load off you so you can rest? It's really important you find time for yourself as you are the vital cog in the wheel that is your family and if you crash and burn, it will all cave in! So, don't feel bad about taking an hour or two just ... well... sleep! Or even to just read a magazine, or to drink a pint of water, or make yourself something healthy to eat. I was crap at asking for help, and that was my downfall. Some of my friends who did not have family living nearby used to get the teachers from the nursery to help out and come and sit with the DCs while they went and had a rest. Little things like that can really, really help. Could you ask the nursery teachers for help?

Sorry for the long post. Please feel free to PM me if you need any more advice - as I have totally been there - and come out the other side totally unscathed (although maybe a few grey hairs)! Good luck!!

naty1 Wed 19-Mar-14 13:18:29

Could it be reflux (boys are more prone i think)
Does he lie flat fine?

littleraysofsunshine Thu 20-Mar-14 11:06:39

He's been better the past few days. It's wind that's the issue I think. But health visitor is due today so will ask about the fussy feeds. He seems to just get very upset when he has wind or has. Then he'll either burp or let rip.

Thank you for that post, it's the same here! Some days are fab because I am feeling well, then the days which are hard I do see the pattern for when in feeling down or low of energy.

I do find it difficult to snack and eat healthy sometimes as I'm always on the go. I wish I could be a salad, tomatoes and cucumber kind of girl but sadly it makes my toes curl hmm

I love lettuce lol

Meals aren't too bad, I just snack on biscuits and tea. (Or even that gets left as it goes cold!)

need to keep hydrated with water too!!

Oh and fit in my gentle tummy exercises for my recti divarication... This week I have felt very low other than yesterday and today but still feel physically weak.

tostaky Fri 21-Mar-14 06:58:56

I also find that iron tablets are good for energy level, especially when breastfeeding and not eating very well.
Do you put him on his belly a little bit and also cycle his legs too when he is on his back, that usually helps for the wind.
Congrats on the 3rd baby! I remember we were (over)due at the same time, you with your 2nd baby and me with my 3rd! My ones were 3.5 and 2 when number 3 came along and yes it is HARD work and you should get some help. I am lucky to afford a part time nanny and a cleaner, if you can afford some help too, do it because there is no prize in doing it all alone and your children and your sanity will thank you for getting some household help!

dingalong Fri 21-Mar-14 08:15:48

My ds was very sensitive to iron tablets - really upset his digestive system. I used some baby massage (cycling his legs them raising towards his tummy). My ds was also sensitive to coffee - i used to drink fennel tea - apparently good for supply and digestive system.

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